Breaking Down Sexuality: Find Out Where You Land On The Spectrum
If one thing is clear, it's that people can't be easily defined—we are complex beings who are influenced by our emotions, experiences, and understanding of the world around us.
Sexual attraction and desire are some of the most complex and diverse feelings that we experience. Modern research has revealed that sexuality affects people differently at various stages in their lives and exists on a spectrum, meaning that it's not quite as simple as being only gay or only straight.
Millions Of People Don't Identify As Gay Or Straight
For those who identify as gay, lesbian, or straight, their understanding of attraction and sexual desire is relatively straightforward. They are either attracted to the same sex or the opposite one.
For millions of other people, the categories of "gay" and “straight” are inadequate to describe their relationship with sexual attraction.
People May Have Multiple Sexual Identities Over The Course Of Their Lives
Recent research on sexuality and gender identity has determined that there are many sexual identities that people may identify with over the course of their lifetime.
For the people who don’t feel like the terms lesbian, gay, or straight are accurate enough to describe their relationship with sexual attraction, there are some more specific terms that may help.
Your Sexual Orientation Describes Who You Are Attracted To
Starting with the basics, a straight person identifies as heterosexual. This means that they only experience sexual attraction toward the opposite sex.
Traditionally, the term "gay" has been used to describe men who are attracted to men. More recently, it has expanded to be inclusive of lesbian women who also refer to themselves as gay, even though they are strictly attracted to other women.
The term "homosexual" refers to any person who is attracted to people of their own sex.
Bisexuality And Biphobia
A bisexual person is someone who is attracted to both men and women. For instance, a woman who has dated women in the past but is currently dating a man would most likely identify as bisexual.
Biphobia is a common stigma that bisexual people face in their lives. It is rooted in the belief that bisexual people cannot maintain monogamous relationships, or that their sexuality is just a manifestation of gayness instead of being a legitimate orientation—which it is!
Pansexuality Is A Sexual Attraction To All Humans
Pansexuality is a more definitive and inclusive term for bisexual people who identify as having a sexual, physical attraction to both men and women as well as all non-gender-conforming and transgender people.
"Pan" from the Greek word meaning "all" was introduced to describe people who feel an attraction to all humans, with sex and gender being unimportant in determining a partner. There is some confusion in the LGBTQ+ community about how bisexuality differs from pansexuality because, the truth is, for a lot of people they mean the same thing!
Omnisexual People Are Attracted To Everyone, But It's A Little Different Than Pansexuality
Bisexual, pansexual, and omnisexual are terms that can be used interchangeably, to an extent. If you want to be hyper-aware of the difference, it comes down to an omnisexual's approach to understanding gender.
While pansexual describes someone who is attracted to all people regardless of their sex or gender (it may be unknown or unimportant), an omnisexual is someone who is aware of gender as something they are sexually attracted to. Omnisexual people feel sexual arousal for all gender identities but may still have a greater attraction to certain ones.
Asexuality Is The Absence Of Attraction To Other People
In basic terms, asexuality describes someone who is not sexually attracted to other people.
Even though an asexual person may still desire close (and even romantic) relationships with others, the idea of having intercourse or any form of intimacy is usually just not appealing. Interestingly, asexual people may still enjoy masturbation, but they probably won't fantasize about involving another person.
Autosexuality Is A Sexual Attraction To Yourself
Autosexual humans experience arousal and sexual attraction at the thought or sight of themselves. They often prefer private, personal moments of intimacy in order to truly feel satisfied.
Autosexual people may identify as any other sexual orientation, but still feel the greatest attraction and are able to get the most satisfaction from touching and thinking about their own bodies.
Demisexuality Requires An Emotional Connection Before A Sexual One Can Form
People who are demisexual may identify as any sexual orientation whether it be gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual.
However, for these people, the sexual attraction forms only under very specific circumstances after a strong emotional or romantic bond has formed.
Sapiosexuals Experience Attraction Based On Intelligence
Sapiosexual people experience an overwhelming attraction to people who they are able to make an intellectual connection with. These people truly embody the idea of being attracted to brains over beauty.
A sapiosexual person's sexual arousal is largely dependent on their partners being highly intelligent. For self-identifying sapiosexual people, regardless of their sexual orientation, intelligence is the most attractive quality in a sexual partner.
Skoliosexuality Is A Sexual Attraction To Transgender Or Non-Binary People
People who identify as skoliosexual experience sexual attraction to partners who identify as transgender or non-binary.
Skoliosexual people are attracted to others, at least in part, because of their gender identity. Since it is a fairly new term, people are still learning how to use it properly and who it may refer to.
Sexuality And Gender Identity Are Fluid
The idea that sexual orientation and gender identity are fluid means that they can change and adapt over the course of a lifetime, existing on a spectrum that looks different for different humans.
Sexual orientation is not as black and white as people once believed, and these new terms have been born out of our language to better understand and relate to one another.
Using The Correct Terms Can Be Overwhelming
It's fair to feel overwhelmed by the constantly changing vocabulary around the LGBTQ+ community—even people within the community end up confused about where the words come from and which ones are the most appropriate.
The best thing you can do is educate yourself and listen to the people in your life who have defined their gender or sexual orientation, and then be respectful of them.
Understanding Sexual Orientation Can Help Us Better Understand Our Own Relationships
LGBTQ+ rights have come a long way in our modern society, but the fight is far from over for equality across the board.
Understanding the basics behind how humans approach sexuality and intimacy can help us learn to navigate our own relationships in the future.
If You Have Ever Felt Confused About Your Sexuality, You Are Not Alone
The open discussion about sexual orientation and gender attraction can hopefully help people feel less isolated if they're experiencing new, absent, or unexplainable attractions.
So, if you've ever felt confused about your sexuality, you are absolutely not alone. As it turns out, there's an abundance of identities you could be grappling with. It's going to take some self-reflection to find out who you're really attracted to and where you fall on the spectrum of sexuality.
