‘Dating Coach’ Explains Why Men Should Never Let Women Pay For The First Date
If you're currently playing the dating game, how do you approach the issue of who should pay for the restaurant bill when your date is over? It can be an awkward situation, and everyone has a different opinion regarding etiquette.
One woman went viral on TikTok for her controversial take on who should actually pay for a first date, and it's sparked a debate amongst social media users.
To Pay Or Not To Pay
You're on a first date and things are going great when the server comes around with the bill and puts it on the table. You see your date reach for the bill and you start thinking who should actually pay? Should you split it equally? Does whoever initiated the date pay? Should the guy always pay for it?
One woman on TikTok seems to think so, and now, her opinions are dividing people online.
The TikTok
Nelly, also known as @ask.nelly on TikTok, is a self-described dating coach. In a TikTok that has received over 120,000 views and 10,000 likes, Nelly explains why "men should never let a woman pay for the first date."
But what makes it most notable is the debate sparking among social media users. She captioned the TikTok, "I SAID WHAT I SAID."
Her Reason
She begins the TikTok by saying that if you're a guy and ask a woman out on a date but then go dutch, it shows "you're cheap, you weren't raised right, you're not chivalrous, or, you're dating outside of your price range." Ouch.
So instead of trying to flex and go somewhere that you can't afford, Nelly presents another option.
Does Anyone Here Like Picnics?
Rather than trying to "flex" by going on an extravagant night out that you may or may not be able to afford, Nelly suggests something more lowkey, but still fun and affordable: a nice picnic in the park.
In the latter half of her TikTok, Nelly addresses women directly.
Progressive Women
"And even the most progressive girls who split it with you and say they 'don't mind,' do mind," she says. "Not because they can't afford it, but because it shows us your character."
So with this in mind, Nelly tells women that if they're on a first date with a guy who pulls this kind of behavior, that they're simply not worth it.
Gender Equality
Nelly's TikTok garnered hundreds of comments and people were quickly embroiled in a debate regarding first date etiquette. Many male users asked what happened to basic equality with some women echoing the same statement, proudly claiming that they pay for things themselves. Others said that considering women still only earn $0.80 on the dollar, this practice is fair.
Other people said that regardless of gender, whoever initiated the date should pay.
He Ain't Worth Your Time
Some women agreed wholeheartedly with Nelly's opinion in that the man should always pay for the first date because it's chivalrous. Others said that if the man asks to split the bill on the first date, they'll do so and pay their share, but that the guy should not expect a second date.
"Ladies, if you're paying then that's not a date. He's just your friend," one user wrote.
Gold Diggers
Other users said that women who behave like men automatically have to pay for the first date are simply gold diggers. They add that it's hypocritical for women to claim they're independent one minute but then reverse once the issue of money comes up.
"Women: if he doesn't pay he's cheap. Also women: don't judge us for expecting the man to pay. We're not gold-diggers," one user wrote.
