Guys Are Sharing The Things They Wish Girls Knew, So Ladies, Start Taking Notes
Trying to get a feel for what the opposite sex is thinking is no small task, especially when it comes to relationships. Thankfully for us, we no longer have to wonder.
User direwolfey asked Reddit the question, “What as a guy do you wish girls knew?” From funny to heartfelt answers, the post soon started trending, so ladies, pay attention.
Random Surprises
It doesn’t need to be a birthday, holiday, or anniversary to shower someone with affection and surprises. Often those “just because” ones are the most meaningful. Women are big fans of random surprises, and it turns out, men are too.
“We like random gifts, we like random hugs, we like random signs of affection and love—sometimes just a cup of coffee in my favorite mug is enough to convince me it’s going to be a good day.” —Additional_Breath_89 / Reddit
I Love You, But...
It’s summertime, y’all! It’s the time of year for BBQing, drinking beer on a patio, trips to the beach, and heatwaves. Some guys want ladies to know that if it’s hotter than holy hell outside and they don’t want to snuggle that it’s not personal, it’s just sweltering.
“Get away from me at night in the summertime, I still love you. I'm just hot as f*** and don't want to snuggle." —Ragnaroknight / Reddit
Silence Is Bliss
One of my absolute favorite things on Earth is the sweet sound...of nothing. Between car traffic, barking dogs, and video work meetings, there is no better way to relax and clear your head than peace and quiet. Some guys also shared this desire and felt that just because no one is talking doesn’t mean they’re not enjoying the time with you.
“I knew I was going to marry my now wife when I realized that the ‘awkward’ silences in our relationship weren't awkward. We can be completely tuned in to each other without talking. Nothing is more reassuring in our relationship [than] when we're just quietly hanging out and she just leans against me.” —rodeoclownorg / Reddit
Men Want To Feel Sexy Too
What do women do when they want to feel beautiful? Perhaps we’ll put on a bit of makeup and do our hair, spend 20 minutes choosing the perfect outfit to wear, and spritz on a bit of perfume. Everyone loves to feel attractive and sexually desirable, and men are no different.
Do you know how you get butterflies in your stomach when a guy tells you you’re beautiful? Make sure to treat your man the same way and let him know that in your eyes, he’s the sexiest guy you’ve ever seen.
An Elephant Never Forgets, And Neither Do Men
I’ve always thought the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but bad words will never hurt me” was utter crap. The fact is, words do hurt, and painful moments like that become impossible to forget. So if you do or say something hurtful, a guy will either remember the moment exactly as it happened or, if specific details fade, he won’t forget the way it made him feel.
“I remember a quote by someone that went ‘The axe forgets, the tree remembers’ and that couldn’t be more true." —typenull0010 / Reddit
Physical Affection
There’s a stereotype that men only ever want sex, but many guys want women to know that that’s not the case. Sex is obviously important, but physical touch should go way beyond that.
Just like women enjoy cuddling, back rubs, having their hair played with, or being hugged and kissed, guys crave that physical affection too.
If You Want Something, Say So
Okay, picture it: You’re having a lazy Friday when your significant other/guy friend says he’s hungry and that he’s doing a run to McDonald’s for burgers and fries (nuggets are also an acceptable choice, #NugLife). He then asks you, “Do you want me to get you anything?” You think about it for a moment and then say, “No, I’m good.” Fast-forward 35 minutes and he gets home and while he’s holding a bagful of McDonald’s, you’re holding a bag full of disappointment.
My point is, if you want something such as food, make it clear to him. He’s not a mind reader, and it’s not fair for you to get mad at him for not bringing you something when you never communicated it in the first place. This way everyone’s happy and you get free food. Win-win!
It’s The Little Things
It’s not just women who love to be complimented, but many men shared their affection for receiving compliments too. Whether a physical attribute or personality trait, years later, many of them haven’t forgotten the compliments they were given.
“When I was 14 and bagging groceries after school a girl told me I had beautiful eyes. It’s been 25 years. I think about it all the goddamn time.” —NecrostusXerxemon / Reddit
Every Day Is Taco Tuesday
Nothing tests a relationship quite like the inevitable and dreaded question, “Where do you want to eat?” and guys want you to know that simply, they don’t know where they want to eat either.
“I tell every woman I date if you don’t make a decision, we’re getting tacos. If we get tacos 20 times in a row, so be it. I love tacos.” —ColeProtoco1 / Reddit
He’s Just Not That Into You
Sometimes when a guy is polite to us, we automatically assume that he’s hitting on us and trying to jump into our pants. But, guys want you to know that more often than not, it’s not because they’re hitting on us, but because they’re not garbage human beings, as we should all aspire to.
“I'm not saying ‘good morning’ because I want to bed you, I'm not holding the door for you because I think you'll reward me with some nookie for doing so. I'm doing so because, like you, I'm a decent human being and am being polite.” —just_some_a--hole / Reddit
Hug It Out
Men often put on a tough outer exterior, but chances are they love physical contact just as much as we ladies do. When you go in for the hug, rest your head on his chest, give him a little squeeze, and most importantly, make it sincere. There’s nothing better than a hug from someone you care about.
“Sometimes a hug or nice compliment can mean a lot. We can ride that wave for quite a while.” —zakvandyk / Reddit
Hard To Get
Remember the phrase “play hard to get”? Chances are you’re familiar with it because it was tossed around a lot at school and it’s used a lot in your favorite rom-coms. But, men want you to know that that tactic doesn’t actually work for a lot of guys, and in reality, might end up scaring them away.
“It's 2021, I ain't gonna chase no on. She says ‘no,’ I'm backing all the way up.” —pon_3 / Reddit
Clear Communication
This next point piggybacks off the last one, and while many guys aren’t a fan of playing “hard to get,” there’s one thing they’re big fans of, and that’s communication.
Whether trying to get across whether you’re romantically interested or not or you need to talk to him about a potential problem, drop the hints and make your feelings known. Mind games are fun if you’re a mentalist performing in Vegas, but not if you’re in a relationship.
Making The First Move
It can be uncomfortable to decide whether or not to make the first move on a person you’re crushing on, especially due to the “what ifs?” and fear of rejection.
Guys want you to know that they’re probably just as anxious or shy as you are, and making the first move as a woman is a big turn-on. Some men also expressed their doubt of knowing whether a woman is just being nice or is genuinely interested in them romantically, and so miss important signals. So remember: communication.
Turning The Tables
Every woman has the go-to romantic gesture that is bound to sway them: a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, or perhaps a lavish night out on the town (my personal favorite is a large pepperoni pizza).
Sometimes men want to be showered with attention and romantic gestures too, and often, many guys have never actually been the target of one. So turn the tables around and show your man some lovin’ and that sweet boost of serotonin (as one user eloquently put it).
Understanding Emotions
As a man, you’re often taught to “be a man” and that expressing emotions (especially crying) is only for girls. Perhaps they’re not able to articulate them as clearly as you can, or maybe they don’t fully understand how they’re feeling, but guys aren’t robots, and they do have feelings.
“When we tell women that we don’t know how we feel about something it’s usually true and we genuinely don’t really understand how we are supposed to feel. I personally wasn’t allowed to express emotions growing up and it turned into me not being able to understand my emotions.” —rb2130 / Reddit
Cries For Help
We’ve already discussed how guys are often taught from a young age to bury their emotions and remain stoic. Not surprisingly, however, that ill-advised life lesson sometimes backfires.
“We need just as much support as you do, it’s always a shock when a guy kills himself until you look back at all the subtle cries for help. We’re screaming on the inside and we need someone to let us know it’s okay.” —fosterdylan / Reddit
Me, Myself, And I
Let’s be real, people are exhausting. Everyone needs a bit of time to unwind at the end of a stressful day, so if your guy says he needs a bit of alone time either playing video games, go for a jog, or crack open a beer and blob on the couch, don’t take it personally.
“Many years ago, I told my girlfriend I wanted to stay in and practice my bass and learn some songs. When I phoned her the next day, she told me she'd been crying all night and thought I was breaking up with her.” —godca_grema / Reddit
His Package
No, I’m not talking about a package from Amazon! I’m talking about that package. It’s no surprise that it’s probably a man’s favorite body part, and guys want you to know it’s a bit more complicated than you might realize.
Issues such as shrinkage or even erectile dysfunction are real problems some guys, unfortunately, have to deal with, and everything from stress to diets and age can affect it. So if you’re a woman, don’t take it personally, because he's probably already self-conscious about it and just needs a bit of patience and understanding.
He’s Not A Lawnmower
And finally, since we're already on the topic of sex, may I present you with this absolute masterpiece of a comment.
It’s humorous and very informative. Isn’t it just magical?
