Psychological Tricks To Help You Get What You Want In Any Situation
We all like to think that we are complex people who are fully in control of whatever conversation we're a part of, but there are a lot of little ways that you can alter a conversation or guide someone into giving you what you want without their knowledge.
You don't need to be a trained psychologist to understand how to use certain tricks or methods in order to get what you want from people.
Use The Reciprocity Rule
Research has shown that humans are more likely to do something for someone who has already done them a favor, so "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" really is a rule to follow.
People feel a sense of obligation if you've done something for them already, making them more likely to be willing to help you.
Subtly Mimic Them
Don't make it obvious that you're playing a game of Simon Says and they're Simon, but subtly mimicking someone's facial expressions or body language will make them more agreeable towards you because people gravitate towards those who seem similar to themselves.
Notice People's Feet
Know where you stand when entering any group of people by paying attention to people's feet. If someone turns their feet to face you as you approach, you're welcome to join. If they turn their heads or bodies but not their feet, you're interrupting something.
The Bandwagon Effect
People are a lot more likely to believe in something if they see that it's a commonly held belief. The more people you can convince of something, the more people will jump on the bandwagon.
Choose Your Seat Carefully
In a situation where you know that you're likely to clash with someone, choose the seat next to them rather than across from them. Whether it's in a meeting room or at the dinner table, if you know you might get into an argument, being seated next to the person rather than across from them comes across as less confrontational.
Get To The Point Of Whatever You're Saying
This one seems obvious, but so often people beat around the bush or ramble when speaking to someone, and that person becomes annoyed. If you're direct with what you need or what you're trying to say, people will be persuaded more easily.
Focus On Getting One Foot In The Door
If there's more than one thing that you need from someone, start with getting your foot in the door. Once you're "in" with someone, then you can work your way up to the bigger favors.
Something as small as asking your friend for an extra dime to pay for parking opens that door to them doing other things for you.
Always Use Someone's Name Or Proper Title
When someone feels like you're being respectful, they're going to be a lot more agreeable towards you, and using someone's name or their title—like Dr. or Mrs.—will make them feel respected.
Talk Less, But Talk Faster
The logic behind this one is that if you talk a little faster, people aren't able to process everything you're saying, and they're more likely to answer without fully understanding what you've said or asked of them. So you want to focus on getting to the point, and getting there quickly.
Exaggerate, And Then Back Off
If you're not a fan of starting small, you can take the opposite approach and aim big first. Start with a request that is more than what you want, then let someone haggle you down to what your actual request was, so they feel like they've won, but you got what you wanted all along.
Confidence Really Is The Key
Whether you're preaching a lie or trying to convince someone of the truth, if you seem confident, people are more likely to listen. A healthy amount of confidence never makes a bad impression.
Pay Attention To Eye Color
When you first meet someone, always notice their eye color. You're not going to be quizzed on it later, but the time it takes you to register someone's eye color is the perfect amount of eye contact to make when first meeting someone, which is important in a social situation.
Wait It Out
If you're in a situation where you've asked a question but someone hasn't fully answered it, wait a few extra seconds. The person may feel compelled to continue talking in order to fill the silence, and you could get the information you're waiting for.
Sensationalism
The reason commercials on the shopping network are always saying, "Act now before it's too late!" is because it actually makes people feel like they're missing out on something, so they act quickly. You make someone feel like there's a sense of urgency or that they'll be missing out on something if they don't make the right decision.
Repetition Bias
When you say something frequently and confidently, people will eventually start to believe it, regardless of if there's any truth to it. If someone hears the same thing over and over again, day in and day out, they're probably going to start thinking it's true.
Wait Until They're At Their Most Tired
Don't wait until they're so tired that they won't remember that they agreed to something, but starting a discussion about something you want is likely going to go better before bed when your girlfriend doesn't have the energy to fight with you, rather than in the morning when she's just had her coffee.
Pretend You're Comfortable In Any Situation
"Fake it till you make it" actually does work on your body. If you get anxious in social situations, simply pretend that you're fine and you can trick your brain out of the anxiety you're feeling.
Emphasize How The Other Person Will Benefit
Rather than focusing on how you're going to benefit from something, focus your language on how the other person will benefit from whatever it is you're asking of them. It's about what you're giving them, not what you're taking away from them.
Prime Your Audience
This one takes a bit of extra effort, but priming the audience basically means you're setting someone up to make the decision you want. Usually, this means you're surrounding the person with things that remind them of a particular decision you want them to make.
Now You Know What To Watch For, Too
Not only can knowing these little tricks help you to get what you want more often, but they're also good to watch out for in a situation where you feel like someone could be manipulating you.
