Reasons You Shouldn’t Break Up Even If Things Are Bad Right Now
When you're mad at your partner you could think of a million and one reasons why you want to leave them, but only one keeps you there. You still love them. Although love isn't always enough, it makes for an important foundation.
If you're holding onto hope and wondering why you should bother trying, we've got a couple of reasons.
They're Willing To Talk It Out
Even if you're talking in circles and the issue isn't actually getting resolved, at least they're open to finding a solution.
This shows that they care and are willing to do the work. You're bound to find a breakthrough to compromise and move forward.
You Express That You're Grateful For Each Other
It's one thing to simply love someone, but it's another to be grateful for their existence in your life.
Having an attitude of gratitude makes for very strong relationships because it allows you to see beyond their flaws and forgive their mistakes. It reminds you of why you fell for them in the first place.
You Still See The Good In Them
Ask yourself how you feel about them. This way of putting the burden on yourself gives you the power to decide if you still want them.
You may realize that you see them differently now, but different doesn't mean bad. It just requires you to adapt.
It's Normal To Disagree
A perpetual issue doesn't necessarily need to be solved. There will be times that you're simply unable to see eye to eye and never will, but that's okay.
It's unrealistic to expect that you have to agree on every single topic with your partner. So agree to disagree.
Attraction To Other People Is Expected
We should celebrate the ability to see the beauty in people rather than reprimand each other for it. You don't suddenly go blind when you start dating someone so you shouldn't break up because one of you is attracted to someone else.
What makes the difference is how they choose to act on that attraction.
They're Respecting Your Boundaries
If you've chosen to take some space away after an argument then you shouldn't be offended that they're not blowing up your phone with apologies.
It's important that your partner continues to respect the boundaries you’ve set in the relationship, even if those boundaries change when you argue. This shows they're not willing to cross the line and care about how you choose to process your feelings.
You Don't Hold Back
It may be hurtful in the moment, but it can be quite healthy to speak your mind about what makes you angry.
Once it's all out there, you no longer internalize it and risk passive-aggressive behavior, and you can start to take the steps to fix it.
They Understand Where You're Coming From
If they can acknowledge your feelings without diminishing them or gaslighting them, they're already showing growth.
Taking accountability for how they make you feel rather than jumping on the defense shows that they care and aren't trying to manipulate you.
They're Open To Outside Help
Even if they don't want to go to couples' counseling, if they're at least considering having a mediator, it shows that they're willing to accept that they don't always know best.
This also shows that they're open to trying new strategies, taking advice, and listening to opinions that might conflict with their own. It shows confidence to be able to accept when you're wrong.
They Don't Keep Secrets From You
Honesty is the best policy and if they're avoiding white lies to tell you the truth, even if sometimes it's hurtful, then it shows how much respect they have for you.
It's always better to have the information and decide what to do with it than to live in blissful ignorance and end up feeling like a fool.
They Take Initiative
One of the leading causes of couples breaking up is that one feels like they're giving more than the other.
If they put in the effort, even if it's in small gestures like emptying the dishwasher without you nagging, it shows that they still have the energy, will, and motivation to want to fight for your relationship.
You Share Similar Life Goals
Couples often lose sight of their relationship because they can't see where it's headed and don't know what to work for.
When you share similar goals, you can refocus your energy from fighting to figuring out how you can reach them together. They become your purpose and motivation.
You're Not Trying To Change Each Other
There's a difference between trying to improve the relationship and pushing each other to grow and actually changing each other.
You fell for each other for a reason, so you shouldn't suddenly expect them to be someone they're not.
You See The Value They Add
Breakups happen when your partner no longer serves your needs and desires. If they're still adding value to your life by supporting you or simply accepting you for who you are, then they might be worth keeping around longer.
It's not always easy to find someone who takes you for who you are and pushes you forward.
You Have Your Own Friends And Independent Lives
It's draining to revolve your whole life about your partner. This puts your happiness into someone else's hands.
Having your own friends and hobbies shows that you haven't developed a codependent relationship and aren't just together out of comfort.
You Still Have Hope
Hope is quite powerful. It's what gets us out of a rut and it's what helped us survive this long. Without hope we have nothing.
If you have hope you and your partner will be okay, that might be all you need to make it work.
