Red Flags That Made Adults Cut Fake Friends Out Of Their Life
Friendship seemed so natural and easy when we were younger. All you had to do was show up on the playground and swing around with whoever was there. Then cliques started to form and friendships became harder. Somewhere along the line friendships became work and some just didn't rise up to the challenge.
Here's how to tell the difference between genuine friends and those who just take up space around us but have fake intentions.
Only Needed, Never Wanted
"When I slowly realized I was only around for chores and errands. Rides to the airport, pick up furniture, help move. Anything social always resulted in either last-minute cancellations, showing up 45 minutes late, and bolting after 10 minutes. I thought they were busy, but no."—gelatinous_poot / Reddit
Friends are meant to show up, both for the good and for the bad times.
Nothing More Than A Car
"When I traded in my truck for a smaller more eco-friendly vehicle. Communication plummeted now that I can't haul furniture around, assist with moving as much, dispose of garbage.. etc." —mandox1 / Reddit
That's what U-Hauls are for, not friends.
Quantity Over Quality
"I was invited to the bachelorette party for one of the friends in this group. While at the party, I figured out that I was the only person not invited to the wedding. I had been invited to the party because they needed another person to chip in for expenses." —littled311 / Reddit
How can you celebrate love when you don't even feel loved by your supposed besties?
Effort Is A Two-Way Street
"When my phone got stolen and I lost their phone numbers. Mine stayed the same, but we just never talked again." —maddallena / Reddit
A good way to evaluate relationship dynamics is to take a step back and see if they put in the effort to reach out first sometimes too.
Exclusive Group Chats
"Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but I'm the only one not in it." —lovinyourscene / Reddit
It's strange to think about the power that we've given to our phones now. More than half of our interactions happen virtually and it feels just as bad to be excluded from a group chat as from a physical hangout.
Only In Pairs
"My ex and I were really friendly with another couple. Did a ton of stuff together. After my ex and I separated, they hung out with me for a few months but then stopped calling. A few years later, I ran into both of them and they both pretended like they didn't know me." —26pointMax / Reddit
It's so awkward maintaining the friendships that were made as a couple. Yet, a person's worth for a friendship shouldn't be defined by their relationship status.
Circumstantial Friends
"One friend stopped replying to my texts right after we graduated from college. Like the same week we graduated. So... I was pretty much just a study buddy that they kept close to keep me helping them." —ts1985 / Reddit
Have you heard of circumstantial friends? They're people who are friends with you because circumstance makes it necessary or convenient. As soon as circumstances change, so do they.
Friends Can Be Gold Diggers Too
"When I went through a divorce and was down to $700...most difficult period and weeded out all those who 'friended' me for my generosity because I was well settled. Started over and have like two true good friends." —allens969 / Reddit
It's quality over quantity for both friendship and wealth.
Not How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
"When I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, the guy I thought had been my best friend of 3 years gave me 2 weeks before saying 'is it my turn, yet?'" —Career_Much / Reddit
There's a time and a place, and taking advantage of a vulnerable broken heart is not it.
The Periphery Friend
"I am definitely the periphery friend. The majority of the time if there aren't enough tickets or space in the car for everyone to go do something, I'm the one who gets cut out."
"It doesn't bother me much but I wish they would be more mindful when talking to me about 'things we have done.' 'Remember when we went to see XXX? Wasn't that fun?' Well, no because I wasn't invited." —Moebar90 / Reddit
Divorce Is More Than Two People Separating
"Like I suspect for a lot of people, getting divorced was a real eye-opener. I started with a core group of close friends who had all met in our late teens/the early twenties and one of them introduced me to the woman who I would ultimately marry. Well into our 40s they were what I considered to be my family but when the divorce happened things spiraled." —PM_Me_Yourbutts / Reddit
No one has to pick sides. Why can't mutual friends be supportive of both parties?
It's In The Little Things
"When they didn't wait for me whilst I did my shoelaces." —PeenScranner / Reddit
Friendships don't have to be based on grand gestures and constant hangouts. It's in the little things that show that you're cared for, like making sure you're still there when you're all walking together.
The Battle Of The Bridal Party
"My best friend since 5th grade invited me to his wedding as a guest. I expected to be a groomsman since we basically stayed the night at each other's houses every weekend all through high school and I set him up with his wife. At the wedding, the bride and groom each had about 8 people at their parties. I didn't make the top seven." —SuperFreakyNaughty / Reddit
Nothing shows where you rank in someone's life better than wedding seating.
Only There For The Good Times
"When you lose your 'worth' to them. For instance, you are going through a dark period in your life, then they just leave like you are a worthless bag of dust." —BurlHopsBridge / Reddit
This is often a reason people feel like they have to put on a happy front. We all get down sometimes, it makes us human and we shouldn't be reprimanded for it.
Friends Vs. Acquaintances
"A lot of so-called friends aren't real friends. They're more like acquaintances. People you know and are civil with." —AsianHawke / Reddit
It's okay to have acquaintances with whom we only have shallow-level relationships. No one has time to be friends with everyone they meet.
Piece Of Advice
"Don't confuse 'fake friends' for people becoming adults. It's extremely normal for adults to 'lose touch' with older, close friends due to life circumstances—children, distance, work, etc. That doesn't mean they're 'fake' friends it just means they have higher priorities than hanging out/chatting than they used to." —Xianio / Reddit
People change and outgrow each other, it's just part of life.
