What Is The ‘Me Before We’ Rule? Here’s An Uncomplicated Breakdown
There are a thousand relationship clichés that end up getting recycled and repeated even though they don't really mean anything. You know, the ones along the lines of "You'll meet somebody when the time is right," or, "It just wasn't meant to be."
While it can get exhausting nodding along to those boring generic statements, there is one relationship cliché that actually rings true.
Love Yourself Before You Try To Love Someone Else
You need to be happy with yourself before you can be fully happy with someone else.
That means always putting yourself first and getting used to doing things that benefit you just for the sake of doing them.
Know Your Standards And Your Boundaries, And How Strict They Are
It's important that you have your own set of standards about how you live your life. While it's reasonable to relax your standards now and then, it's good to know where your boundaries are.
That will make it so much easier when you meet a partner to determine whether they are adding anything to your life or making it more difficult in some ways.
Partners Can Be Good Support Systems But Can't Be The Only One
Some relationships struggle to survive because one or both partners are dealing with their own personal issues that end up dragging down their partner and putting unnecessary strain on a relationship.
Of course, partners can be great support systems but they should never be the only one.
Learn Things About Your Own Personality
You need to learn things about yourself that will help you realize whether a partner has the ability to meet your needs.
Maybe you're someone who loves to stay in contact 24/7, or maybe you prefer to catch up in person as opposed to constantly texting. It's important to know what you're after so you know what to ask for in a partner.
Neither Person Can Bring Any Toxic Traits To The Table
You could be the greatest partner in the world, but if the person you're dating has extreme self-confidence issues, trust issues, or anger problems, it's going to cause a turbulent relationship.
The same goes for you. You can't bring any toxic traits to the table if you want a relationship to thrive and be healthy.
Work On The Things That You Know You Struggle With
You have to work on the parts of you that are not perfect before you agree to start building a foundation with someone else, otherwise, there will be cracks.
For instance, if you struggle to communicate, try writing down your thoughts. Practicing the things you're uncomfortable with when you're single will only benefit a future relationship.
Your Best Interests Should Come First For A While
You need to switch up your mindset to one that will focus on your best interests. That means that you're not searching for someone to fill a void or complete you, you are already complete on your own.
You should be at a place where you're looking for a partner to enjoy each other's company and care.
Being Single Is Not Scary, It Can Be Really Empowering
It could come down to bailing on dates when you're not feeling like you're in the right headspace, or maybe deleting your dating apps for a while until you feel balanced enough to try again.
Being single should never be viewed as a "scary" or bad thing, it can actually be a really helpful learning period to get to know yourself the way you would a partner.
Set Aside Time To Do Something For Yourself Once A Week
An easy way to start using the Me Before We rule in your life is by setting aside time to do something you enjoy at least once a week.
It could be self-pampering, joining a sports team, a social club, or reading a book. Choose something you like doing and spend some time alone doing it.
Ask Yourself Challenging Questions
If you ask yourself the challenging questions while you're single, you won't have to grapple with them when you start dating someone. Figure out exactly why you're interested in a relationship before starting one.
Ask questions like: "Do I want something long-term? Am I looking for someone because I'm lonely or because I'm ready to date?"
Mind And Body Health Go Hand In Hand
Another way to practice the Me Before We mantra is focusing on getting your body and mind healthy.
Some people will choose outright exercise while others prefer an activity like hiking or rock climbing. Find an activity that makes you feel the good kind of muscle aches. When your body feels healthy, your mind will follow.
The Best "Me" Will Attract The Best "We"
When you become the best version of yourself mentally, you'll be ready to meet someone who will fall into place in your life fairly easily.
When you're actually ready to date again, you won't have to force it. Timing never works the way we want it to anyway.
