Why It’s Important To Live With Someone Before Ever Considering Marrying Them
As a singleton, it's been both humbling and also validating to watch my friends marry off around me. The crazy thing is, some of them haven't lived together yet. Which is becoming less and less common, but still happens.
As it turns out, there is a bit of a debate about the pros and cons of moving in together before marriage. We're breaking down the best reasons to spend some time cohabitating with any potential partner before you think about walking down the aisle.
Some Things Are Only Revealed When You're Living Under The Same Roof
Even long-term relationships have their best-kept secrets that remain hidden until you truly spend time in one another's space.
For instance, maybe your partner takes 40-minute showers, forgets to flush the toilet, or leaves dirty dishes out every single time they make food.
Are They Traits That You Can Manage Or Discuss?
There are certain habits or traits that you may not have encountered unless you were staying under the same roof as your SO.
It's important to ask yourself whether they are things that you can manage or discuss with your partner.
You Learn To Split Your Responsibilities
While living with a partner, you will both have to learn to manage household responsibilities together. It's a good way to test how you work as a team at the less enjoyable tasks.
There is no perfect system for every couple. You and your partner can figure out a way to split household responsibilities (like laundry, garbage, and yard care) in a way that suits you both.
You Can Start To Manage Your Finances As A Couple
You can start managing your finances as a couple and work toward long-term goals, like a shared vehicle or a wedding ceremony.
Splitting the financial responsibilities of a home is a big step that often takes some adjusting and readjusting. Living with your partner can give you a good idea of how they plan on approaching major financial responsibilities in the future.
You Get An Understanding Of What Intimacy In Private Looks Like For Your Relationship
Living with your partner gives you a look at what intimacy in private is for your relationship.
Many people consider cohabitation before marriage to work on building the physical and emotional connection with their partner before they decide if marriage is on the table.
You Will See If Your Chemistry Stays Hot Or Fizzles Out
Living together is a great way to see if your chemistry stays hot or fizzles when you're constantly around your partner.
Sometimes, when you get to spend all your time with someone, you realize that you liked their company more when it was less frequent. And that's better to learn before saying "I do."
Your Conflict Resolution Skills Will Improve
You will both become better at conflict resolution through communication.
Living together is certainly more challenging than seeing each other on the weekends, but with open communication and a willingness to meet in the middle, it can work.
Learning Communication Skills That Will Benefit You Down The Road
Developing open communication skills early on while living with a partner will strengthen the skill for when you decide to take things to the next level.
Being able to communicate something as simple as "it drives me crazy when you leave the milk out" makes it a lot easier to bring up more serious things in the future as they arise.
You Are Able To Put On A United Front With Your Partner
You're letting people know how serious you are about your relationship, and that you're willing to put in the work to make it last.
You don't need to prove your relationship to anyone, but it does feel nice to put on a united front with your partner and say, "We're figuring it out together."
It Eliminates Some Of The Fear Around Getting Married
When you're already living with the person you love, it takes away some of the fear of getting married.
Especially because it's not going to change much about your living situation or lifestyle, just your last name.
You Can Pack Up And Leave If It's Not Working Out
Living together gives you a clear picture of what you're signing up for every day, weekend, and holiday for the rest of your life (presumably).
If you do realize that you won't be happy moving forward, packing up and moving out of your shared place is a lot cheaper and less emotionally damaging than getting a divorce.
Moving In Together Does Not Work For Everyone
When the honeymoon phase comes to an end and you start to see some rough waters in paradise, it's worth considering getting out of the relationship.
Just because you thought that it was going to be happily ever after doesn't mean it was meant to be. Moving in may have been the push you needed to tell yourself it was time to move on.
It Can Be Good For Your Mental Health To Have A Partner To Come Home To
Sometimes it can be good for your mental health to live with a partner, especially if you're struggling with feeling lonely or depressed.
Having someone there to share meals, laughs, and boring nights with can make the world go 'round much smoother. Of course, you can't pin this all on a partner, but it's nice to have a friend.
It Gets Much Easier To Have Sex
Your sex life becomes more convenient, less planned, and maybe a bit more fun.
Having the privacy of your own shared space also gives you the opportunity to turn up the heat in the bedroom.
Moving In Together Is A Major Sign Of Commitment
Living together is a major proof of commitment, probably the biggest one you can make that doesn't include becoming a parent or getting married.
The decision to move in together shows friends, family, ex-partners, and whoever else is watching that you two are ready to take things to the next level together.
Living Together Is The Ultimate Test Of Your Relationship
It's the greatest test you can put your relationship through before marriage. It will test both you and your partner's boundaries and overall relationship.
If you can navigate the challenges that come with split finances, merging family/friend groups, household responsibilities, and whatever else comes up, you're definitely ready to navigate your way down the aisle.
