Woman Celebrates With Photo Shoot After Finding Doctor Who Will Perform Sterilization
Many women desire to get married and have children. But for many other women, motherhood is not in the cards.
One woman has taken to TikTok to celebrate her sterilization surgery. She's used the opportunity to share her journey regarding the procedure and it's opening an important discussion for women everywhere.
A Child-Free Life
For every woman who dreams of having children, there is a woman who feels the complete opposite.
Many women who are certain of their desire to remain child-free consult with doctors about a sterilization procedure—which is a permanent form of birth control leaving a woman unable to reproduce. But, the path to this procedure is not easy.
"What If You Want Kids Down The Road?"
Because it is an invasive medical procedure, women must consult with a doctor to perform the surgery.
Being a woman who can—and wants—to reproduce is the social norm. So women who choose to remain child-free are seen as abnormal, and so many are denied this procedure. Often, women are told they will later regret the decision or are too young to decide.
The TikTok
Abby Ramsay, also known as @abbysworldsastage on TikTok, is a 25-year-old actress and model who recently went viral for how she celebrated her child-free life choice. The TikTok has sparked an important conversation, having been viewed nearly 4 million times.
"I'm excited to take control of my own body," Abby wrote in her post. "I’m not a baby maker."
Time For A Photo Shoot
The TikTok is only 15 seconds long but speaks volumes. It begins with Abby outside as she opens a green box that says "Congratulations." The text on the video reads "After about 6 years of trying..."
The photo shoot looks similar to a baby announcement photo shoot, but that's not what Abby is choosing to celebrate.
Sterilization
Abby then removes a red folder out of the box as the text "I finally found a doctor who listened!" is overlaid on the video.
So what is the photo shoot celebrating? Abby found a doctor who is going to perform her sterilization procedure.
A Message To Those Who Didn't Listen
At the end of her TikTok and photo shoot, Abby poses outside while the text overlay on the video reads that her celebration "goes out to all the ones who didn't" help her obtain her sterilization.
She then proudly says the procedure is slated for February 4.
A Follow-Up TikTok
The popularity of Abby's TikTok was apparent, so she has turned it into a series across multiple TikTok videos where she informs viewers about her desire for the surgery, the procedure itself, and the post-recovery process.
In a follow-up TikTok, Abby addresses a user comment that asked how can she know what she wants because she's only 24.
"How Does She Know?"
Abby acknowledges that this is a "common question." She has known she didn't want children since she was 16, but was repeatedly told she was too young to know what she wanted. By 19, she started talking to OB-GYNs regarding having the procedure.
The thought of being pregnant and responsible for a child for her entire life was not of interest.
Lifestyles And Desires
Abby says one of the reasons people give for having children is because babies are "so cute." But, that phase doesn't last forever, and it's a lifelong responsibility that doesn't fit Abby's lifestyle.
"Just because I don't like kids doesn't mean that I want them to suffer, and me having a kid would be setting them up for failure and suffering. So I'm not gonna do it, and that's a valid reason."
Preparing For The Procedure
In follow-up videos, Abby illustrates how she must prepare for her sterilization and recovery. This includes being stocked up on painkillers, anti-bloating medication, and pads, including an abdomen brace and silicon scar removal sheets.
She was also told to wear flowy shirts to avoid any pressure on the abdomen following the procedure. She also thoroughly cleans her apartment.
Additional Reasons
In another video, Abby explains what will occur during the sterilization. Because she has a history of painful period cramps, possible polycystic ovary syndrome, and a family history of ovarian cancer, she believes the sterilization will mitigate these health issues and be a better solution to traditional birth control.
The two procedures she's slated to receive are a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation.
What Actually Occurs During A Sterilization?
So what happens during the sterilization procedures? First off, the "bilateral salpingectomy" refers to both fallopian tubes being removed and an "endometrial ablation" is when the thin layer of tissue that lines the uterus is removed.
"Thank you so much for finally listening to me after six years of doctors who didn't and literally only saw me for my uterus."
The Surgery
In a follow-up, Abby recounts her surgery experience, noting that aside from mild period cramps, she's doing well and is resting. She is grateful for the community support and adds that for any woman wishing to have sterilization done, she hopes they have success with finding compassionate doctors.
"Guess who's back and better than ever! Thanks for the support guys!" she writes.
Women Supporting Women
While still recovering, Abby responds to a user regarding how two factions of women appear to be resentful of each other (child-free versus infertile) and how each side wants what the other has. But, she's optimistic for the future.
"I think things will get better," she says. "The more we work together towards things becoming more accessible the less bitterness and the less clashing there will be."
