People Only Slightly More Dramatic Than You Share When They Thought They Were Terribly Ill—And Weren’t
We've all had that terrible moment when we notice something different about ourselves and we immediately assume it's the worst thing possible. That fear only turns into a full-blown panic attack after we check Web MD for our symptoms and we call our mom sobbing, asking her how to update our will. Then it turns out just to be a large ingrown hair. We've all been there.
So have these people. After @MShrayber shared his freak-out moment over some blue legs on Twitter, everyone hopped on the "I thought I was dying but I was fine" train. As it turns out, we're all dramatic hypochondriacs who need to be permanently banned from googling our symptoms.
Blue Legs? Must Be That Deep Vein Thrombosis That's Been Going Around
I mean, this is typical for jeans. You have to wash those or you're going to be walking around wondering why all your chairs are stained blue. And no, you for sure haven't been hosting Smurf Tupperware parties.
He Doesn't Have Much Time
Did she also diagnose him with not being aware of anything at all? How spacey do you have to almost lose a limb and need a healthcare professional to tell you what's going on? This kid needs to watch out for himself.
The "Margaritavirus"
I'm pretty sure I've had this virus at some point in my life. The only cure, however, is to keep drinking margaritas until you literally do not care anymore. Or you lose your wallet.
She Was In Mint Condition
I'm shocked that this lady didn't question this immediately. Like, why would your mind immediately jump to "stroke" instead of "I'm a bad cook"? This would be the only time my complete lack of faith in my domestic abilities would end up trumping thinking I'm dying from a sudden illness.
This Is Why Celery Juice Is The Only Appropriate Way To Eat The Vegetable
Maybe those LA influencers and stars have it all figured out after all, going on these celery juice cleanses. I get it now—they were just sick of the intestinal worm scare. That's the last time I make fun of them...OK, maybe not, but...
Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Black Plague Tongue...
Apparently, the reason Pepto Bismol can turn your tongue black is because of the sulfur levels in your mouth and not because of demonic possession. Although...maybe they should start calling sulfur Pepto Brimstone.
Classic Sibling Move To Say You Have Gout
Really, if your siblings aren't trying to freak you out by convincing you you're dying, then they're trying to actively kill you. I'm allergic to peanuts, and what does my sister do? Gives me Cracker Jacks for Christmas.
Let's Not Get This Bread
A hugely popular comment in this thread was "I ate this and it turned my [insert here] this color." Do people need to start keeping food journals to put two and two together? Is food blogging the secret to reducing hospital wait times?
Hindsight Has 20/20 And A Clip-On Visor
This lady was so far into sport mode while she was driving that she knew it wasn't her visor that was giving her a headache. Not those cool Oakleys, it's never the cool Oakleys.
Just How Much Jell-O Did This Person Eat? I'm Actually Scared
I get that you just had surgery and can't eat solid foods for a while, I understand that concept very clearly. But why only Jell-O? And why so much of it that you pass red? Ma'am, that's not following the food pyramid.
When In Ireland, Poo As The Irish Poo
Part of traveling is really immersing yourself in a new culture. That means eating, sleeping, breathing, and "going" like the Irish. I'm surprised information about this particular affliction isn't hung up in the Dublin airport's bathroom stalls.
Yeah...This Is Why You Chew
I'm plum confused as to why this parent decided not to, you know, touch the giant seeping black mass at the top of her daughter's mouth. Just get a stick and poke the dead thing like you did when you were a kid.
All He Needed To Do Was See Life Through Her Lens
I like how this newly blind man's first instinct was to go onto the computer to see what Web MD had to say. Guess it's true that some old hypochondriac habits die hard.
You're Telling Me That Blue Isn't The Hot Color For Babies This Season?
Most parents can tell you that they were this level of crazy with their newborns since they were so worried they were sick all the time. I'm already terrible at figuring out if I'm healthy or not, so I would be a complete wreck as a parent.
I Think The Problem Is He Doesn't Clean The Toilet Enough To Realize This Sooner
Hi sir, I'm here to inform you that a good way to figure out whether you have diabetes or not is to help your wife around the house. You'll find those missing socks you thought the dog ate and uncover so many mysteries along the way.
Beet That Web-MD-Induced Anxiety
Honestly, there should be a button on Google for when you're looking up your health issues that makes you swear you haven't eaten beets, asparagus, red Jell-O, or Peptol Bismol. We could solve half the problems in the waiting room that way.
I Can't Lie: This Would Be Me As A Parent
Eating while holding your kid is called multitasking and it's the mark of a good parent. She's also a good leader because she delegated her birthmark concerns to a healthcare professional so she could finish that Toblerone in peace.
"Kid Purple Foot" Sounds Like An Old-Timey Western Bandit
Unless this parent dropped her baby off at daycare in the Arctic, I doubt that this is something parents need to be actively worried about. Someone add it to my daycare sheet that I need to stay in climates where I can't lose a limb to the cold.
Gas, The Not-So-Silent Killer
My sister went to the hospital for this exact same issue. Except she didn't have the excuse that this guy did where he was a day after appendix surgery. Nope, just ate too many Fuzzy Peaches.
Good Thing This Mom Didn't Break Out The Steel Wool For This Birthmark
You'd think that this mom would just accept it as a bruise or a birthmark and move on after she couldn't remove it. She's got more dedication to getting something clean than I've ever had doing any of my household chores.
