Funny Tweets About The Pains Of Dating
Dating sounds like I should be fun in theory—getting to meet new people, playing the field, and going out for dinners or to do activities—but in reality, it's just a lot of bad experiences, disappointing encounters, and straight-up painful times.
However, there's no better way to cope with pain than to joke about is as these people on Twitter did.
What A Vivid Image
Going on dates with people from an online dating app sounds like it will be fun until you remember that there's a chance the other person is a total psycho who will keep your body parts in their fridge.
Sorry Women, But Eating Isn't "Ladylike"
Society as a whole loves to control and criticize what women do/wear/say, but I never thought that it could be considered a problem for us to merely eat food. I mean, what if we're hungry?
Thanks. I'm Cured.
There are some men on this planet who are so critically thirsty that they will have the audacity to reply to a message about depression like this. In what world is it okay to bring up her period in this situation?
This Is Such A Wholesome Revenge Plot
I don't know what I love more: the fact that this guy thinks the passive-aggressive fork delegation is a good enough revenge plan, or the fact he has ranked all the forks in the house on a scale.
Funny How It Works Like That
One moment, I'll be certain that love isn't real and that relationships are a total scam invented by the media, and then a guy will text me back and I'm back to being a romantic.
1/4 Profiles Look Like This
Guys will go out of their way to put their height in their profile as a subtle brag and then have the audacity to act like they are doing some sort of selfless public service.
Taylor Swift Woke Up And Chose Violence
Taylor Swift really came out of nowhere and dropped a surprise sad album in the midst of the holiday season, when people feel nostalgic, and convinced us to go to our hometowns and hook up with our high school exes. This mistake is on you, Miss Swift!!!
I Never Thought About It Like This
Bro, if I get married, is there just going to be some dude chilling beside me when I'm having my random crying sessions at one in the morning? That would totally ruin the vibes.
It's My Favorite Part About Dating
It happens at an exact moment you can pinpoint where you'll say something witty and it will take him a few seconds to get it before his eyes dim and he realizes he's not as funny as you. It's a lost cause for the rest of the date.
If You Identify With Tom, Get Help
I sincerely love (500) Days of Summer with my whole heart, but I will never trust a man who loves the film since men always tend to side with the main character, Tom, who is the absolute worst.
Oh, How The Turntables Have
It's like that one guy said in that one movie: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." If you encounter enough f**kboys, you become one.
There Are Many Types Of Crushes
There are so many types of crushes out there in the world—celebrity crushes, bartender crushes, gym crushes—and they all coexist in my brain at the same time, taking turns being the one I fixate on.
$200 A Day Is Pretty Good Deal
You know, with every DM I get from a sugar mommy/daddy who offers to spoil me with monetary gifts on the regular, the more inclined I am to give up on regular dating and work and embrace being a sugar baby.
It Really Feels Like That Sometimes
You know, this is sometimes how it feels when my friends tell me about their hookups and intimacy in relationships. Like, okay, I get it: you're out here smashing and I haven't felt the touch of another human in months.
In It For All The Right Reasons
Honestly, though, she raises a point: the probability of this guy having two girlfriends die in airplane crashes is so incredibly low that it's unlikely she'd meet the same demise.
Someone Needs To See Them
The worst thing about being single is that I don't feel the random dudes I meet deserve nudes, so I can't send them, but some of them are truly such works of art that it's a crime not to share them.
Jackson Is Really Not Winning Here
Perhaps if this guy wasn't so preoccupied with finding out a way to ask out Alison from chemistry class and instead focused on studying for the exam, he would have had a better outcome here.
It's Not That Much Of A Romance
When Rose goes on a cruise only to meet a hot guy from another part of the boat and hook up a few times, it's a love story for the ages. When I do it, it's just me being a hot mess on a vacation.
This Is What Long-Term Relationships Look Like
When married life is shown on television, the married couple is always the put-together pair in the friend group. In reality, they might be even more immature than the rest of us.
My Weekend In A Nutshell
People in relationships often think that the dating scene is a lot of going out, meeting interesting strangers, and dancing all night, but really, it looks way more like this picture.
