Girls Hilariously Shut Down Guys Trying To Make *Moves* Over Text
Just about all of us have been there before: whether it was on a dating app, from an ex, or from an acquaintance, someone tried to drop a pickup line in an attempt to start things up romantically or, more commonly, initiate an adult sleepover.
While there are many ways to deal with undesired attention, these hilarious women found hilarious ways to bite back at their unwanted admirers.
Sorry, But My Calendar Is Full Forever!
Unfortunately, I'm booked for the rest of eternity with no chance of sneaking in a quick coffee date. I'm sure you understand. Maybe try to schedule an appointment in 2120?
Call Her Daddy
You'd think that there would be nothing less attractive than using phrases that remind him of his father, but apparently this guy is still game and wondering if he's still got a shot.
An Impeccable Selfie, I Must Say
Ask for a picture and you're going to get one—it just might not be the kind of photo you expect. Her unattractive selfie game is immaculate, and I will be copying her technique.
Play Dumb At All Costs
I really want to know what his follow-up "hint" was after the school band comment. I have a feeling that this female mastermind could keep the "dumb" act up for a long time.
I've Never Seen A Better Topless Picture In My Life
First of all, can we note that this girl offered to send a topless picture and this guy had the audacity to ask for a butt pic, too? He deserved what he got.
I Would Like To Be Kissed At Dave And Busters
I really respect her commitment to the bit. Even though the guy was already disheartened by the joke and wanted her to stop, she had to add "Radio Shack" to really make her point.
Back Off, You Mouth-Breather
Maybe we don't have telekinetic powers like Eleven from Stranger Things, but that doesn't mean we can't harness the power of her name in order to shut men down in an epic way.
I Like To Organize My Shirts By Color, FYI
I did not spend this much money curating a near-perfect wardrobe only for there to be wrinkles in my shirts and pants. Are you helping me with laundry or not?
This Is A Pass/Fail Kind Of Test
Not going to lie, I kind of want to know what he was actually doing and why it led to him texting her to say he was close to dying at 5:07 in the morning.
A Man Who Understands That Doritos Come First
Cuddling is cool and all, but have you ever opened a fresh family-sized bag of Sweet Chilli Heat Doritos without anyone nearby so that you don't have to share the chips?
In Other Words, Venmo Me
My favorite way to roleplay is that I pretend to be an online retailer, and the guy sends me $100 over Venmo. His nonexistent purchase gets lost in the mail, but our customer service policy doesn't cover that, so I am a little richer.
Silly, You Shouldn't Ask Someone On Tinder About That!
What is this guy thinking, hoping that his Tinder match has the necessary archaeological background and credentials to examine remains from an excavation site? I'm glad she set him on the right path.
If He Wouldn't Prefer Lasagna, He's A Fool
Listen, why would you want to try and get intimate when you and a romantic partner could instead make, cook, and eat a giant pasta and tomato sauce layer cake?
Pizza With Sandwiches? You're Joking, Right?
It only makes sense to categorize and rate fast food places primarily based on the type of food. I hope this guy learns to ask better questions in the future.
Anyone Want A Sliced Hotdog?
They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and this brilliant use of photography is no exception. In one quick glance, this man knew he had made a mistake.
Bringing The Mom Into Things Is A Savage Move
People can say almost any insult to me about any aspect of myself, but the moment you bring up how my parents might think of me, I lose my resolve.
There Will Be No Butt-Eating Today
I regret to inform you that there will be no regularly scheduled butt-eating activities, or really anything to do with butts, anytime in the foreseeable future. Please take your jacket and leave.
Okay, But What Is A "Sexy Donut"?
I've been thinking about this non-stop, and I cannot imagine what a sexy donut would look like. Would it be wearing a garter and stockings with a corset? Much to think about.
*Simon Cowell Voice* It's A No From Me
This guy did his best to shoot his shot, but sometimes, honesty and direct responses are the best way to let someone know that you're not interested. His acceptance of rejection is stellar, though.
Error 404: Desire To Speak To You Not Found
If you're wondering why this is happening, most cases involve her moving on to better things, or you being a jerk who needs to figure out how to treat women. For more very valid reasons she doesn't want to see you, press 1.
