Get Ready Ladies, These Tweets Are About To Become Your New Mantras
It's good to have a mantra to repeat to yourself during troubling times. Sometimes you come by them by accident, or maybe you hear someone else say it and you adopt it as your own.
What I do know is that Twitter is full of great context to use to help you build your new life's motto. How did none of us think of the Panic At The Disco one before?
Who Needs To Set An Alarm Anyway
Play it fast and loose and hit 'stop' instead of snooze and see if you can count on your biological clock to have your back and wake you up on time.
Always Look For The Silver Lining
Yes, a lot of what we have to deal with every day is outrageous, but at least we don't have to sit on the dirty floor in baggy shirts and pretend that elephant skin balls don't hurt.
Be True To Yourself, Let People In On Your Kinks
If you want to watch murder documentaries and then have trouble sleeping after, then that's what you should do. Make sure you really trust someone until you let them in on that part of your life.
Honestly, I'm Never Going To Be Mad At An Automatic Faucet Again
It's true, though. If people aren't going to like you, that's on them. They probably have their reasons, all of which are their own and have nothing to do with you.
All Black, Always
If you wear colors, you're kidding yourself. Everyone knows that black is the way to go because it makes you look skinny and because it makes you look intimidating and fierce.
This Is Actually Great Life Advice
Who else thinks that wearing clothes is the actual worst? Bras and jeans are sent from the devil to keep us from following our dreams. Do yourself a favor, and before you have a meltdown, take your clothes off first.
It's Nice To Know That You're Not Alone
Turns out that there are other people in the world who feel like life is a constant, anxious struggle. There is some good news here, though. This means that none of us are in it alone.
The Struggle Is Real, The Cuddles Are None
This is why so many of us women have a million pillows, because we need comfort and love and just don't seem to get it from the people we choose to be in our lives sometimes.
Oh Look, The Understatement Of The Year
The men of the world should collectively screen the ones that they allow on dating sites because right now it's honestly just the worst of them pretending to be nice guys.
The Eternal Question
Yes, being social and having friends is fun, but have you ever gone home on a Friday and ordered pizza then turned off your phone? It's one of the most glorious feelings in the world. It's right up there with taking your bra off.
Enjoy The Things You Want To Enjoy
Cutting things out of your life that you love isn't always the answer. The answer is moderation!! Please note that this is only true for your eating habits, not spending time with your ex.
We Just Can't Say It Enough: Get A Skin Care Routine
Nothing is going to help you feel like an adult more than getting a skincare routine all figured out. It's going to be all you want to talk about and you're going to wonder if you should be a social media influencer. The answer is no, by the way.
Yet We All Love Our Vodka Crans
Cranberry juice is for two things: drinking and helping with UTI symptoms. Anyone who drinks it otherwise is going through some things that we should just let them figure out on their own.
Ladies, It's Time To Let These Men Go
You probably thought of someone when you read that tweet, and if you did, that should be a sign that it's time to let that ex go. We all have someone we're hung up on, but comparing him to a sick pigeon is not a good look.
Let's All Be Ruthless This Year
Ready to ruin lives and assert your dominance in a real and meaningful way? Turn on those read receipts, sit back, and get ready to passively-aggressively put people in their place.
Remember The Cool Kids From High School?
Don't stress about them too much because you're the cool kid now. They're all still dressing the same working as part of a pyramid scheme that they're messaging you about on Facebook.
It's Truly What We All Want
To be thick and rich is the ultimate life goal. For must of us, we're closer to being thick than rich, but you've got to believe in your dreams! If you don't, who will?
Well Isn't This Inspiring
Turns out that failing at something can actually happen multiple times before you feel validated in your work. Don't get too bummed out, though. Being a late bloomer isn't going to be the worst thing that happens to you.
Who Else Is Sick Of Their Man Having A Better Bum Than Them?
It honestly has to stop. What justice is there in the world if a man has a greater booty than me? Don't even get me started on those guys who have gorgeous eyelashes.
We Have To Do It, For The Good Of All Women
If one person feels good, and they, in turn, help someone else feel good, then we create a positive feedback loop that will generate more glorious tweets that we'll all save on our phones.
