Men Share What Made Them Feel Like Alphas Today And The Bar Is Low
It's a man's world out there and we're proud of these dudes who are out here doing the bare minimum and patting themselves on the back for it. Even though there's a wage gap and you know, a bunch of other problems for women, it's important to realize that guys just don't have it all. Sometimes their toilet paper holders are a little bit wobbly and they gotta fix it.
These guys shared what made them feel like the big apex predators they are and we're happy for them. We're cheering them on as they fight the good fight of applying deodorant every morning.
This Hero Cleaned The Toilet
Where can I literally get a man like this? Not only does he *gasp* clean the toilet, but he's humble enough to go on the internet and ask for praise for it. Does anyone know if he's on Tinder?
Legitimately Vacuumed The House
Men are really out here doing the bare minimum and asking for praise for it. His wife, who probabaly has been picking up after him forever, was probably standing behind him watching him type this and just fuming.
This Man Applied Some Deodorant
This man discovered deodorant and yeah, we're pretty impressed. No actually. Here I was showering twice daily and applying antiperspirant and a ton of perfume to rub away my internal shame about my body, but he's gone and discovered deodorant and wow, I feel out-classed.
He Didn't Punchy Punch Some Drywall And May Have Got A Mate
Love a man who can deal with his emotions in a way that doesn't destroy people or things. It's like, top five qualities I look for in a mate, right behind "not an arsonist." No wonder a babe, who is definitely real and wasn't randomly staring in his direction at the gym, was feeling his vibes.
He Ate Some Food. But Quickly.
God ughhhh, don't you just seriously get completely lusty when you hear that a guy can eat? I'm talking chewing and everything. Wow, and he's good at it too? Ugh where is he?
He Tamed The Beast And Got It To "Sit"
This man added that the soundtrack to this basic dog training that literally everyone has to do was "The Man by Killers, freaking righteous!" God, thank you for your story and the song recommendation.
It Dark? Big Man Bring Light
I suppose it is, of course. Man discovered fire after all and protects the feeble women and children, so of course, nowadays he would be responsible for home improvement. There's no such thing as female electricians or construction workers.
He Told The Womenfolk To Watch Their Toes Because "Whatever Keeps Them Safe"
Whatever *thud* keeps *thud* them *thud* safe. What's that sound? Oh, it's the audible thuds of him patting himself so hard on the back after doing this obvious and menial task. Somebody get him the key to the city.
We're Glad He's, You Know, Being A Father
Imagine waking up one day and your husband is changing your daughter's diaper. Like, hello? That's not even remotely your job even though we made this human together? This man is just going above and beyond the call of duty.
He Made His Truck Feel Better
I felt more manly reading this. A woman could never handle the whole "car" thing. I hear the word "steering" and I immediately swoon like a 19th-century maiden in any form of classic literature.
Wow, He Did A Whole Eight Pull Ups
The keyword is perfect, read that again because it matters. This stud of a human being didn't just do your typical "good enough" pull-ups, he did freaking perfect ones. Only men can do those you know.
He Killed Some Nature That Bothered Him And Then Set It On Fire
I love when the guy I'm with sees a piece of beauty and gets the unexplainable urge to destroy it then burn it. Wow, that's so hot. No, it's actually hot because he's burning the house down.
The Guy Who I'm Pretty Sure Was In American Psycho
This man either was the dude American Psycho was based off of, or he's modeling his life after the movie. Either way, I can practically feel his insomnia and urge to tell everybody about how perfect he is.
This Man Got His Back Nice And Stretched. Mostly.
Not sure what this guy is trying to say. Normally you have to take pain meds or do a lot of stretching to manage sciatica pain and even then there's not really a "cure." So... did he take an Advil and blog about it?
This Man Who Broke Big Barriers And Made Us Feel Safe To Fart
This man is a hero who wants to make the world a safer place for us all, so he's taking chances out here starting with the fart stigma. Fun fact, a good half of the comments on this post were about taking a dump and farting.
And He Did It All With Only A Caffeine Pill And A Multitool
This man doesn't eat, sleep, or drink water before doing anything. All he needs in this wide world is a caffeine pill and a multitool. You could drop this manly man in the middle of a desert and he'd be fine as long as he had his Dremel and some Adderall.
Washed, And I Cannot Stress This Enough, His Truck
Cleaning and maintaining the dullest things really make these internet men ask for praise. So next time you see a man in his driveway digging in deep to get that tough grime off his wheels, whip him with a towel and remind him to blog about it later.
Hero Cleans Off The Brown With The Yellow
It's not every day you meet a hero in a public restroom, but they're out there. They're doing the honest work of cleaning up after us all and we couldn't be more grateful. Thank you for your steady stream of service.
The Toilet Paper Holder Doesn't Do The Wobbly Anymore
Not surprisingly, a lot of the men who shared their life stories focused on what they did in the bathroom. Now if they could only remember to put the toilet seat down, but one crisis at a time.
Intellect Fact Checks Reason Why Toilet Paper Holder Doesn't Do The Wobbly Anymore
This intellect, Redditer slayer_mike and several others who replied to his comment, felt big today because he commented "you mean an Allen wrench" on the toilet holder post. God, like, imagine being a man and knowing the words for things? Glad this guy felt good spreading his infinite wisdom.
