People Who Are Clearly About That Rise And Grind Life
Do you ever hear someone you know list off all the things they did on the weekend and while you smile and nod, all you can think in your head is "URGH"? Yeah, well, apparently this is a thing that people like to do - be productive and busy with their spare time.
What happened to binge-watching too much TV and eating only chips all weekend? What has the world become?
Don't Sit Down, Not Even For A Second
When you get home, you play a dangerous game if you don't start cooking dinner right away. The moment you sit down is the moment you give in and order takeout for the night.
That's When You Know The Coffee Is Good
You know the coffee is good when it gives you hope for the first little bit of the day. You know, it makes you care about your job again and feel like you can actually achieve your dreams.
But It Would Have Meant Leaving Your House
Yeah, it may seem ridiculous to wait for milk when you could go get it yourself, but some of you just don't understand the emotional trauma that leaving your house causes.
We've Got All The Time In The World
Why do something now when you can put it off for another hour or two and still not do it then? It's 2020, why don't we have magically self-cleaning homes yet?
"I Totally Don't Get Stressed Out Easily"
LIES! Anyone who tells you this is not only lying to you, they're lying to themselves because they need to hear the words out loud to validate what they think is true.
Even Bernie Sanders Has A "Chair"
Why bother putting your clothes away when you're just going to take them out and dirty them again anyway? We're just trying to be efficient here. No one can blame us for that.
Your Body Is A Temple
A temple is supposed to be a quiet place that you can go and relax. So what if you don't go to the gym three times a week? You occasionally think about going and that should be enough.
It's A Human Right To Lie On Your Resume
Maybe there is a gap on my resume because I wanted there to be one, did you ever think about that?! It's hard to explain to someone that you don't have a job because you weren't sure it was the life for you.
Everything On TV Is A Lie
You know when you're watching TV and you see a character with a super clean apartment or house? Yeah, that isn't real. Don't let yourself be pulled in by all the lies!
Just Pick The Same One For Everything
Thank god our phones and computers started storing our passwords for us because that was beginning to be a bit insane. How am I supposed to remember every password I make for all my online shopping sites?
Who Even Has Time To Update Their Computer?
I have too much important work to do on my computer to be interrupted about doing updates. Like looking at Pinterest while also watching my stories and maybe checking out what's new at Sephora.
Oh, What? I'm Supposed To Learn From My Actions Now?
That hardly seems like the right way to do things. I will forever put off my chores, no matter how long it takes to do them when I finally get to them.
Yeah, Literally All The Time
Anytime I meet someone who is not absolutely exhausted, I wonder what it is they're doing that helps them function above the level of a normal person. Is it that they've got less to do? Or just better equipped for the world?
Sitting Up Is For Losers
If there is a slight possibility that I can do something lying down, you better believe that I'm going to take that chance and try and do it. It's just so much work to be vertical.
Which Is Better? Eating Or Sleeping?
Since we don't yet live in a reality where we can do both, it's hard to choose whether eating or sleeping is better. The best is snacks between naps. Now that is something to talk about.
We Get Around To Things Eventually
It might be years later when it's no longer relevant, but that's not the point. The point is, we set our minds to do something and we eventually did it.
The Person We Lie Most To Is Ourselves
We always like to set it up like we aren't good at things, but when it comes to figuring out how to spend that little bit of extra time in bed, we are pros.
How I Spend My Time Is My Business
If I tell you I'm busy, then in my mind I am. Maybe busy means actually doing something, and maybe it means my actual plan is to do absolutely nothing.
This Is Actually Genius
The only downside to this would be if you were a really sweaty sleeper, then you would have to end up changing either way so then what's the point, really?
The Best Thing You Can Do Is Be Honest
This is who you are and you're owning it. So if that means sometimes you're late or doing small chores are a struggle for you, then so be it. You're not alone.
