People Who Can’t Even Be Mad About Their Love Lives Because They Were Caught Slipping
Sometimes in life, we have no control over how things work out for us: we are at the mercy of the universe. Other times, we have a personal hand in our own futures, and sometimes we have to just acknowledge that we, in fact, have played ourselves when it comes to our love lives.
These are people who caught themselves slipping in their romantic affairs.
Sometimes We Need To Stop And Think About Our Actions
Self-reflection and self-awareness are the first steps towards improvement. Did you really need to answer that 3 a.m. "U up?" text from the guy who doesn't even have a fitted sheet on his bed?
Sometimes You're The Crazy One In The Scenario
Sometimes, you're the person complaining about their crazy ex who won't stop trying talk to you despite your breakup happening two years ago. Sometimes, you're the crazy ex who won't stop calling.
Stockholm Syndrome Was Real Back Then
There was a time in my life when all I wanted was to hang out with a guy who had red lights all over his frat house so that it looked like the inside of a strip club.
I Am Way Too Willing To Sit Down And Fasten The Safety Restraints
A man can straight-up, right from the start, give me a plethora of red flags for being an emotionally unavailable, conceited jerk and I'll still fantasize about our wedding day.
You Become A Soppy, Weird Version Of Yourself Around Your Crush
On a day-to-day basis, I am a strong, independent woman who would never change my life for a man, but the second I meet a guy I like, I start asking if they want me to bring them banana bread.
You Are A True Hypocrite
I'll say I just want a guy who'll pay attention to me, but the second a guy actually does give me love and attention, I start fantasizing about Matt the accountant who doesn't have an ounce of emotional intelligence.
You Also Drag People's Love Lives Down With You
In a similar vein, I once convinced my therapist to start a fight with her husband so that he'd actually take her to an expensive gala for New Year's Eve.
We All Make Horrible Mistakes
Do you ever accidentally release a repressed memory from the back of your brain and have a flashback to the time that you were in love with a guy who only owned one towel for everything—shower, kitchen, and cleaning? Haha, me too.
I Know It Will Hurt Me And I Do It Anyway
It doesn't matter now many times I make the mistake of social media stalking for information that I know will eventually lead to me crying in bed at 1 a.m., I will do it again tomorrow night.
How Does A Man Ruin A Whole Religion Like That?
There are actually 11 different books of the Christian Bible that hurt to read because they're named after or predominantly feature the name of a boy who hurt my feelings.
Nothing Like The Crazy I Have Hidden Inside
Is it wrong of me to hide all of my borderline psychotic personality traits from the men I date until they believe I'm perfect before I spew my toxic self on them two months in? Doesn't matter—I'm still going to do it!
Joe Is Putting Out Some King Energy
Maybe the reason I'm only attracted to people who don't want me is that I admire their ability to recognize something bad and potentially toxic from the get-go and try to avoid it.
We Never Learn
I have told myself many times that I will never stay up past midnight during the work week just to hang out or text with a man, and I have failed to stop myself many times more.
A For Effort Though, Buddy
Just because you know that your pursuit of a romantic interest is utterly hopeless and will leave you with emotional scars for years, it doesn't mean you're going to stop trying to get with them!
I Was Not Ready To Be Hurt Like This
I would like to believe that the reason behind my struggles on dating apps has to do with my weird personality, but I might soon have to admit that I am, in fact, just ugly.
Essentially, This Is Your Camera Roll
Why is my camera roll full of photos of clowns? Oh, I know: it's because I constantly take selfies of myself crying while the guy I am interested in dates a woman who is hotter and blonder than me.
It's Basically The Same Experience
It's funny how being treated one way in a certain location makes me feel anger and frustrations, but the same treatment from a guy who thinks playing the guitar counts as having a personality makes me swoon.
In Summary, I Am My Biggest Problem
While there are some things about my dating life that I can't control, there are many things I do that are blatant acts of self-sabotage against my own happiness in romance.
At This Point, I've Just Given Up
I could work on unpacking the damaging habits I have while dating and trying to form healthier ones—or I could just become cynical and say that love is garbage and I have no use for it.
...After All, The Notebook Will Never Leave Me
Do you know how much it costs to maintain a turbulent romantic life that leaves me crying on a regular basis? Thousands of dollars in therapy and cheap wine. A Netflix account is only $9/month.
