Reasons Why Women Will Absolutely Outlive Men… We’re Just Stating The Facts
Okay so we're not out here trying to stir up drama or make dinner super awkward, but it's a fairly well-known fact that women are going to live way longer than men. Like, way, way longer. We just won't die and that's why there are so many anti-aging products for women on the market. That, and unrealistic beauty standards for women.
The photos are the proof you need to really cement that knowledge into the heads of your boyfriend, dad, male coworkers, and male friends. Your honor, we have the receipts to prove we're the more careful sex.
A Strong Grip On His Cotton Shirt Will Surely Prevent A Fall To His Death
Men need to stop it now and I'm serious. Where are these construction workers being trained because they're all so sure that a strong grip on a flimsy piece of cotton will save a man from a falling from a deadly height? At least there are three guys for safety.
These Pool Boys Are About To Sing The Body Electric
Water and electricity are not friends. We should all know this by now. We're confused about why these guys needed this set up right in the middle of the pool and couldn't move it to the edge. It's three feet away—it's worth your life to move it.
Man Brain: Hand=Good Strap
Men have this uncanny ability to make things safe just by placing a hand on it. They're big on holding things together by sheer force of will and we're not about it. Guys, delivery is usually free for mattresses and big furniture items. You know that right?
Your Friendly Neighborhood Window Painter
You'll see a ton of sights in the city. Mostly, it's just strange people yelling, but sometimes you'll witness someone who actually thinks they can't die. Chances are it's a man and he's out on a couple of two-by-fours painting a window ledge.
Remember The Falling Piano In Looney Tunes? Well, Meet Falling Couch
All men know that there's no reason to hire professional movers with experience and safety equipment when you can just grab a couple of 12-year-olds and set 'em up in the living room. Then drop a couch on them. What could go wrong?
There Was No Floor For Their Ladder But Don't Worry, This Guy Loosely Held It
Make sure you don't do anything wild without a buddy by your side. Check on though once in a while to make sure they're not just enabling you to be the chaotic person you are. This man needs to have a heart-to-heart with his loose-ladder-holding "friend."
Surprisingly, Not The Same Guy
Should we really be surprised though? These guys are out here feeding off of each other's awful ideas and just about killing themselves and each other in the process. It's sad that we're not even shocked anymore.
This Construction Worker Blended His Work And Play
They say if you do what you love then you'll never work a day in your life. Well, this construction worker heard that and thought he'd make his job just a cover for him pursuing his true passion: riding amusement park swing rides.
Construction Worker's Friend Loved The Idea
Some things catch on that shouldn't. These include any transmittable disease, gluten-free diets for people who can eat and digest gluten properly, and making a swing out of dangerous construction equipment. Bon voyage mate.
He Didn't Have Hedge Clippers, But Thankfully He Had A Lawnmower And A Crane
I'm going to hedge my bets and say that this man never did this again for various reasons. The number one reason being he fell off the hedge and probably had his bones liquified. It's good odds, 40:1, takers anyone?
Anything For The Shot Bro, I'll Slide Off A Roof If I Have To
Stop your hypebeast male friends when they say "YOLO" and then do something stupid. Even if they try and justify it as being "for the 'gram" or for their new media company. Put a hand on their shoulder because nobody should be sliding on skyscraper roofs.
Boys Get Nabbed By Pennywise Apparently
Okay so we just want it on record that a girl would never follow Pennywise down the drain, and after seeing the movies she would never go near a drain again. This kid apparently was betting real hard that life doesn't imitate art when he pulled a Georgie at a waterpark.
No Motorcycle Lift? No Problem
So, this guy asked the question when he needed to fix his bike whether he should spend the cash on an expensive bike lift or get a new bike when it falls off the DIY lift and breaks. He definitely thought it over for .3 seconds before deciding to get underneath of the thing.
Honestly, How Didn't These Construction Workers See This Coming? They Literally Do This For A Living
A lot of these are construction guys on the job, working for the man, and just trying to put dinner on the table. We respect that. What we don't respect or understand is why none of them read a safety manual before clocking in.
Fly Zappers Are Apparently Good For Licking
Some forbidden fruit: tide pods, plastic bananas in bowls, earplugs, and now thanks to this guy, fly zappers. He's completely aware before, during, and after sticking his tongue to this that it's got electricity coursing through it. How's your heart Marty McFly?
The Power Of The White Kahki Shorts And The High Dad Socks Will Protect Him
Dads have this uncanny ability to see a dangerous situation and automatically assume that they're safe. It's that security that having a 401K, owning golf clubs, and having a lifetime discount card at Tommy Bahama will bring you. Hopefully, he brought his Geiger counter, though.
The Golfers Who Got From A To B, Got Hydrated, And Lost No Limbs
Here's a golfer who's out here living his best life and test fate because why just have a normal day? He saw the possibility of potentially getting run over mixed with getting hydrated and he saw his name written all over it. If they're not careful he's going to be all over the grass.
The UPS Man Who Was A Freelance Spiderman Cosplayer
Never give up on your dreams. Actually, give up on your dreams if it's to be Spiderman because that's a fictional character and you'll never and should never do what he did. Please, we're begging this UPS guy to just stop delivering packages by pulley.
This Yoga Pose Is Called "Don't Move Or He Dies"
Nama-stay in one place Jim while I screw these two pieces of wood together. I think we've figured out that not only do women live longer, but we die for better things. Who wants their life to be worth the construction of a single-detached house in the suburbs?
My Guy, You Do Not Understand "Mattress Surfing"
This guy heard about how broke students have to "mattress surf" and he was super confused what the buzz was about, but decided to try it anyway. He's doing it wrong but at this point, we just think men are a lost cause.
And Now Armchair Surfing
Mattress surfer's friend heard about his determination to figure out the root of the hype around the practice, and he thought he'd figure it out with armchairs himself. No, do not do that. We're not sure if his mom ever gave him this lecture when he was six, but just because your friend does it doesn't mean you should too.
This Deleted Fall From Full Metal Jacket
Don't you ever wonder what a deleted scene from your favorite movie looks like? Well, here's the infamous "Joker jumps into pants from 14 feet in the air scene." It never made the cut because he probably died from this. Just saying.
Men Should Be Banned From Having Ladders And I Stand By That Statement
No more ladders, okay? I don't know about you but my heart can't take it anymore. Now, this guy has gone and raised the bar for how high our collective female blood pressures can raise because he's stacking patio furniture to reach greater heights. Those Ikea ones will screw you over.
He Put A Firework In His Pocket And Females Have Left The Group Chat
Hey, you know how there's always a statistic around the fourth of July about firework injuries? Well, this guy has topped the list every single year because he and the rest of his bros just can't stop putting fireworks in places they shouldn't go.
Dad Took A Break From Golf To Be Crocodile Dundee
Dad invincibility reached a new peak today when this elderly golfer (why is it always golfer dads?) decided to wrangle a little crocodile on the course. Spoiler alert: he got bit but he was fine. Were you shocked, because he was.
Lads Day In? Go On Bruv, Clock Me With That Lawnchair
Not featured: two seconds before he was hit in the BARE back, he smoked a cigarette and drank the last of a bottle of wine. It's almost as if it was his last meal. After he was hit he went back for another round, just to see if it still hurt.
Man Cut Tree. Man On Tree. Man Fall Down. Man Feel Ouch.
Man's best friend is a dog. Man's best friend is not construction work. If you see a man in your life reach for a saw or an ax just repeat this mantra very slowly because oh my God they should not even think about it.
Got A Ladder, A Roof, And A Surfboard? That's All You Need To Surf
Ladders are going to be a theme here—we can sense it. These gentlemen were craving a boys day at the beach so they decided to shred some gnar from the comfort of their own backyard. This photo is called "Surfin' Calltheeverlovingambulance."
Protecc The Necc
What better way to make sure you never fall off a roof than by attaching the rope to one of the most integral parts of your body. He better not fall or he's going to traumatize the neighborhood children.
The Teen That Lit His Hair On Fire Just Becuase He Could Because That's Solid Reasoning
The dialogue for this video goes: "Hairspray. Lighter. Spray me head, light it. Simple." Yes child, very very simple. He was fine after FYI, he just had a really ugly quiff and had a little too much taken off the sides as a result.
