Someone Needs To Sit Male Authors Down And Teach Them How To Write About Women
For those of you who like to read, you may have come across a passage or two in some books that have really made you raise your eyebrows because of how outrageous or unbelievable they are.
These passages are usually passages that men have written about women, trying to explain how they look, what they're like, or even going so far as trying to get inside their head.
Well, guess what. A lot of them are bad. Like, really bad, and someone needs to sit down with these poor fellows and give them a lesson or two.
Never Heard That One Before
Have you ever sat down and thought, "Huh, you know what? Boobs kind of look like turtles." No, you haven't because that is borderline insane and a disservice to boobs and turtles alike.
Wow, So Old
Imagine someone actually thinking that a woman is too old at 36? Please, 30 is in the 20, or so they say. Regardless, a woman isn't defined solely by her age! Get a grip.
Never Heard A Man Say It
Well, that's because men are maybe a bit delusional, or at least this list is making us think that. Besides, no one should make mean comments about another person's body, no matter what gender.
This Is Just Rude
People love to think that women have something to say about everything. The only reason we feel that way is because of how little anyone listens to us about things. Sorry, we're smarter.
OK, This Is Real Life
This passage is written by James Watson, who won a Nobel prize for his work on DNA. He's writing about Rosalind Franklin, whose work was essential to understanding the structure of DNA, and decides he should comment on how she dressed.
Yes, Because All Women Are Catty
Newsflash!! Not all women hate other women, and not all women compare themselves to everyone else they meet. That's just childish and shows a very misguided understanding of how women work.
How To Tell How A Woman Is Feeling
Interesting that our nipples are a barometer for how we are feeling. It's a wonder people can't just read our minds all the time...or in this case our boobs, to tell how we are.
There Is No Way
This problem extends all the way back to high school sex-ed, which clearly has to be the last time this guy interacted with a vagina, because there is just no way.
Can You Spot The Difference?
Apparently, even after being shot by someone, you can still act like a lady of the night, but only if you're a woman. Is that better than just slumping to the ground? I don't know.
Sharp And Tender, Nice
What is a deliberately ugly posture? And have anyone's boobs in the history of boobs thrust anywhere for any reason all on their own? No, I don't believe they have.
That's Quite Excited
How is an actor even supposed to make this work? Is she just supposed to stand on stage twerking the whole time while she tries to deliver her lines to the audience?
In Case You Think You're Losing Your Mind
Ladies, if you want to make sure that you're living in the right reality and your memory is still working OK, grab your boobs and consider if they're the same size you remember them being. Apparently, that's the best way.
Pendulous, Eh?
If you are a writer and you feel bad about your work, remember that this gem game from one of the most acclaimed novels of all time. Yeah, that's a bummer, isn't it?
Depends On The Dress
No one likes spilling food on their clothes, but no one is going to go and bite the heads off of everyone around her because she was a little bit clumsy.
Is That Even Physically Possible?
I promise you that if this was something that women could do with ease, they would do it all the time. Wouldn't you love to be able to roll your boobs the same way you roll your eyes?
OK...
What does girl flesh even smell like? Is he trying to say that she smells nice like the perfume she probably spent an arm and a leg on? Because you can just say that...
They Have Their Own Measurements
Well, ladies, I don't know about you, but this is news to me. Did you know that you a milliboob is a way to measure the size of your breasts?
Or She's A Child
Why do people have to be so weird about talking about girls when they are young? Just say that she's 12 and she's not getting married any time soon, which, for the record, should go without saying.
Good To Know
In case you ever wondered, the perfect weight for a woman is fifty-five pounds times two. This is wonderful information that I'm not sure how we survived without all this time.
At Least She's Pretty
It's wild that someone can sit down and think that they can capture a woman's personality just by explaining how much men want to have babies with her but don't want to talk with her.
