This Woman Created An Account Dedicated To Not Being Engaged And It’s A Whole Mood
Being in your 20s and 30s is a great time in your life. You’re finished school, you’re settling into a career of your choosing, you’re paying off your student debt, all that fun stuff. A not so fun part of this time in your life — if you’re single — is all the engagements and marriages and pregnancies that are flooding your timeline.
One woman decided that rather than be single and sad while scrolling through Instagram, she'd counter all the shiny ring photos with an account dedicated to her lack of a diamond ring.
Conception
The Instagram page @notengaged was created thanks to one Mary McCarthy on a fall evening in September of 2016 after she had attended yet another engagement party for one of her friends.
Dessert For One, Actually
The account was essentially started as an inside joke among McCarthy and a group of her friends, “and now it’s grown into a much larger inside joke” she said in an interview.
She's Pro-Marriage!
One thing McCarthy did want to clarify is that despite her satirical Instagram account, she loves when her friends get engaged and she loves celebrating them, like when she shared this picture from her friends actual wedding day.
Not Engaged & Alone Forever
When her Instagram page started gathering a following, McCarthy decided to take it one step further by creating an official wedding page on the wedding service website, The Knot. The date of her future wedding was set for December 31, 2022, so she's still got plenty of time to find herself a fiance if she wants to.
Save The Date!
On top of being able to RSVP to McCarthy's fictional anti-wedding happening in 2022, she's also picked out the location (crying in bed) as well as who her maid of honor will be (her favorite pair of shoes.) The most important role she's chosen is the role of flower girl, which she's assigned to Anne Hathaway because "u would look gorgeous throwing flowers at me"
Please Don't Actually Show Up
McCarthy's wedding site also clarifies that you shouldn't actually show up, but that instead of coming to her wedding you should "go on any trip u want or buy books for law school (i'm so proud of u btw) or give it to ur aunt who needs a bike." Use that wedding money for something good, basically.
The Woman Behind The Mirror
A big part of her motivation from the account was to make a silly, fun, joke account, but she does also "try to skew it more to empowerment" and she wants her followers to know that she is not anti-engagement or anti-marriage.
Lacking In Content
McCarthy noticed that there was "a lack of content that uplifts and celebrates single women" so @notengaged was her way to fill that gap. It's a reminder to everyone to "celebrate your life, despite your relationship status."
Her Time to Shine
Part of her reasoning for starting the account was also that she had been a bridesmaid in a handful of weddings, so she was used to seeing the flood of engagement pictures on her social media and she "wanted in on the fun."
Using Her Platform For Good
As her following grew, McCarthy has also taken the opportunity to use her platform to promote awareness surrounding things like National Suicide Prevention day, as well as the importance of voting in the 2016 election.
Yay Sports!
When she's not attending a wedding or a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, McCarthy takes in the occasional hockey game and she’s basically all of us: “ur like ok look at these hockey players heck yea and they skate faster and faster away from u”
Seasonal Scaries
McCarthy never shies away from the opportunity to crack a joke, like during spooky season when she shared with her followers that there's nothing scarier than things like "'90 Day Fiance' or 'Say Yes To The Dress' or ur friends proposal video."
Ghosts Of Ex-Boyfriends Past
While shopping for something other than a wedding dress (shocker), she couldn't resist stopping to snap a pic for the 'Gram, talking about when you walk through a department store "and all of a sudden there are wedding gowns, like ghosts that have come to bring the night terrors again."
April Fools
One April Fools' Day, McCarthy posted to her Instagram to share some good news with her page, but she quickly revealed that it was, in fact, a joke because "o god who am I kidding?"
Concern For Her Well Being
In one interview, Mary talked about the response she's received from her friends and family, which hasn't been all positive. The comedian said "a handful of people message me to see if I'm okay," and she clarified that "I'm very okay." Would someone who isn't okay be out there buying a dozen bottles of wine?
The Response
Despite some friendly concern from family members or friends, the response online has been generally positive towards McCarthy and her account, which is pretty clear based on her nearly 150K followers.
No Mixed Signals Here
Her followers also confirm that McCarthy is getting the right message across, with one man commenting that as a father of two daughters he loves @notengaged because "It's not that I'm against marriage but it should not be the epitome or apex of being considered a whole woman."
The Obvious Question
One thing she gets asked a lot is what's going to happen when or if she actually gets engaged, and her response is simple; "I'll pull a 180 and only post pictures of my ring everyday." Duh.
What Happens Now?
Another question McCarthy gets asked a lot is where does she plan to go from here? Now that's she gained tens of thousands of followers over the past three years, what can she do with her page to keep this up?
Keep The Character Alive
Mary considers her page to be like a character, and it's a character she enjoys writing about. She says that the next step for her is to "probably create @notpregnant and start taking pictures of my stomach, in all honesty." Seems like a solid business plan!
