Tweets From Women That Are Relatable AF
Women are out here continuously creating content that everyone can relate to, yet they don't get nearly enough praise! It's 2019, men and women can both tweet relatable things and receive equal recognition okay?
The time has come, the future is now, and we need to talk about how men can function on a daily basis without carrying a bag of stuff around with them constantly.
Men: A Mystery To Us All
How do men go out into the world every day without anything with them? What if you suddenly get thirsty? What if you desperately need headphones? Their pockets must be like a real-life version of Mary Poppins' handbag if they really contain everything they need for the day.
You Haven't Even Seen Their Final Form
The horse girls of your elementary school evolve into the adults that are way too into Disney and the hot wheels-obsessed boys evolve into the men who spend every weekend traveling to Nascar races around the country. It's inevitable.
Reunions Are A Trap
Never go to your high school reunion. It's as much of a trap as that "multi-level marketing" scheme someone will try to recruit you for. Only go if you've ever felt the urge to stand in a room full of people you don't really know and hear about their children or their brutal divorce or their Ph.D. in Philosophy.
Brittle Bones
You don't even have to pass 27, this happens once you hit your twenties basically. Every pain and ache you feel you just have to think "should I go to the doctor or can I live with this forever?"
Social Butterfly
The Twitterverse also understands that sometimes you really don't want to have to see other people, and everyone needs to respect that. How dare others be in the grocery store or at the gas station at the same time as you. The audacity of some people.
War Widow
Doesn't every woman do this? Plus, if you stare out the window while you do it, you feel like a young woman out of an early 2000s war-time romcom who has 3 small children and is waiting for her husband to return from battle.
Men Are The Real Content Creators
Something else to consider is that not only is it creating a lifelong audience for your Snapchat and Instagram stories, it's also creating content for your social media. All those years of emotional turmoil at the hands of men make for great stories to Tweet about.
The Real Crime
You'd think that podcasts could tailor their ads to be about things that actually relate to what they're talking about, or at least learn the art of timing. Sure, it might be hard to find products that relate to a murder podcast, but don't leave us on a cliff hanger while you take a moment to tell us about that new monthly subscription you're loving right now.
Directionally Challenged
The worst is when parents start tossing out directions like "head West" or "bear East" as if you have any idea what direction that would be. At least left and right are clear, but the second someone says North or South, you should just pull up Google Maps.
Teenagers Can Smell Your Fear
You think that the older you get, the more confident you'll be, and though that can be true, nothing is more terrifying than a group of teenagers. No matter how old you are, a group of teenagers walking towards you on the sidewalk or in a mall takes you right back to middle school.
Time Flies, But Not When You Want It To
Or how about when you're 6 hours into your 8 hour shift but then you look at the clock and it says you've only been there for 57 minutes? That's the worst.
Pointing Out What No One Will Admit
This is a hot take right here, but honestly, she's right. 20 years from now the iPhone 48XLR will be coming out and people will still be holding on to their iPhone 6S because they love the headphone jack.
Finding The Perfect Man
This is how you know that you've found a real man. You didn't want to go to the gym anyway, or you would've done it already, so pizza is obviously the best choice.
Advertising Tactics
Women have had enough with false advertising and have decided its time to expose advertising companies. Do any of them actually understand what women want, especially out of their bath products? This woman has a heart latte, a glass of red wine as well as a fresh plant. Why? Unclear.
Juggling Act
Twitter can be a great place for women to remind themselves that while they're out there doing the most, their boyfriends may not be. In that case, get rid of him. The Twitterverse is always there to provide advice that you didn't know you needed and some that you maybe didn't want.
The Wage Gap Crisis
Women on Twitter are also here to remind us all about the current political and socio-economic landscape that we're navigating through. Never turn down a free drink, or anything free. What kind of income bracket do you think you're in that you could turn down anything free?
This Cut Him Deep
The Twitterverse is here spitting true facts for women and is always ready to help in a time of need. If you ever need someone to leave you alone, just find ways to continuously extend their name. It's foolproof.
Pace Yourself
Quite frankly, even if you send two questions in two separate texts one after another it's still not going to work. All women know that you need to ask one question and wait for the response before you can ask the second question. Otherwise the second question will just be out there unanswered forever.
Is Your Car Running?
Dads are put on this earth to wear cargo pants, make bad jokes, and to make sure your car is running smoothly. They make sure you change your oil, rotate your tires and do whatever else you've probably forgotten to do. That's what they're there for!
The Ghosts Of Childhood's Past
Women on Twitter also like to bring up topics that will make you seriously stop and think. Why do Mary-Kate and Ashley always look they know something you don't? They always have an expression on their face that implies that they know the exact moment in time that you'll die, and we have questions.
