Tweets That Are Just Straight-Up Disrespectful
It's nice to think that we're all individuals, but the truth is that we have entirely too much in common, especially when it comes down to the things in life that we struggle with.
That's why when you see certain posts or tweets that hit too close to home, it feels extra terrible knowing that you're not alone and that we're all just awful people. But luckily, it's also pretty funny.
No One Is Prepared For How Much Makeup Costs
But we can't quit it. You walk into Sephora or Alta, or whatever your fav beauty spot is and you can't help but load up on all the skincare and makeup your little heart desires.
What Else Do You Want From Us?
If you sneeze once in any public space, people reserve the right to shame you. Actually, that isn't fair. It's not someone's fault if they sound like a sneezing elephant. That's a genetic issue.
Isn't It Just So Weird That We're All Alive?
Sometimes, do you ever have this moment in between 'aware of what you're doing' and 'zoning out' where you realize you're an actual living thing on the earth and how crazy it is that any of this is actually real?
Absolutely Not, No Way
Should Crocs have existed in the first place? That really isn't my place to say. But thigh-high Crocs would be the end of humanity and the universal sign that we have given up.
Why Is There Something To Do Every Single Day?
You hear from people all the time that getting up early and having breakfast and all that jazz is really good for your mental health, but here is what I have to say to that - no.
This Seems Like An Urban Legend
Do we actually know anyone for real who looks nice with a low pony? Name one person that you personally know who is not a celebrity and then we'll have something to talk about.
It's Cute That Kids These Days Have Dreams
The world as we know it is literally ending, and while that may seem like the thing that every millennial wants, it's bad news for the generations after us.
Sometimes It's Best To Just Not Speak In Public At All
It's hard to not be socially awkward when you were cursed with a weird and introverted personality. No one teaches you how to talk to cashiers and waiters, and it's hard.
Better Than Going On Company Time, Am I Right?
What people do in their own time is their business, just like what people do in the bathroom while they're on the clock is also their business and it's probably best to just not ask.
Yeah, I'm Gonna Buy A House Someday...HA
Why is it that money is something that is necessary to pretty much live, but there seems to be so little of it going around to actually use? It isn't my fault I have an Amazon Prime problem.
Taking Care Of Yourself Is So Much Work
It might just be the generational depression talking, but it seems like a lot of work to put in just to end up dead one day without having achieved any of my hopes or dreams.
Men Only Want One Thing
Imagine being so thirsty that you mentally block out that your cousin is related to you and so you try and shoot your shot with someone who is your own flesh and blood?
It Feels Almost Easy To Be Famous These Days
I mean, most of us will never achieve that, but it's extra disheartening that that's true when we have people out here asking us if we feel like plastic bags when really we're fireworks.
Probably Will Never Be As Cute, Either
Look at his beautiful little duck body. Honestly, I'm not mad that this duck has a lot more going for him then I do because he deserves it. Look at his face. That's the face of a winner.
We've All Gotten So Sensitive
The bar has literally hit the floor so hard that in order to be attractive to someone now, all you have to do is be of a certain height. Unfortunately, that's not really something you're in control of.
Why Buy Things When I Can Just Fantasize About Them?
Buying things takes money, money which we don't have, so how do we get the dopamine rush? We gently touch the things we want in stores and whisper "I'll be back for you one day" knowing we never will be.
At Least Someone Is Listening To Us
It feels like no one who could actually help you with anything is willing to hear you out, but your phone? Oh, if you mention something once in passing, get ready to see ads for it for the rest of your life.
Delivery Will Always Be The Way To Go
Here are the reasons why delivery is always the best option: it's reckless, we love that. Secondly, there are no dishes and we can all get behind that. Thirdly, we live a life of excess and we don't know better.
God Bless The Internet
If we didn't have it, how would we know that everything that happens to us, no matter how small, is a crisis? We need that validation in our life to feel like human beings.
We Can't All Be Good At Things, OK?
This is even more true if you grew up in a home with siblings who were ultra-talented and you were just kind of there taking up space to make them look even better.
