Tweets That Will Resonate If You’re More Mess Than Hot
I'm tired of having to apologize for the state of my life.
Honestly, could I be doing better? Yes. Do I want to be doing better? Maybe. Will I ever do something about it? It's honestly undecided at this point, because you would think if I was going to, I would have, but also maybe someday I'll hit rock bottom...
Being Reckless With Money Is My Main Personality Trait
When it's pretty much impossible to pay off student debt and live my life anyway, why bother doing it at all? Any time I have any amount of savings, the engine light goes on anyway, so whatever.
Children...OR Doing Whatever I Want All The Time?
Maybe I want kids someday, but that someday is way out in the future because right now I can hardly handle dealing with myself and my own mood swings and living habits.
If Every Day Is A Bad Day, Are Those Just Your Days?
I've been treating myself since 2008 because that's about when life started to go off the rails. Puberty was a lot, and my life since has just been a bunch of coping with the trauma.
I'll Do It When I Get To It
Look, it isn't like I don't want to take better care of myself, I do. But sometimes, it feels like an impossible mountain to climb. Or, a basket or laundry in this case.
Was High School Really My Glory Days?
Honestly, no. It was awful, but there is something to be said about how things that seemed like the end of the world then are just normal daily struggles now.
"Pay Attention To Meeeeee"
We all say that we don't like to be the center of attention, but anyone who says this is lying. Saying it out loud is a sure-fire way to make sure you get there.
There Are People I Know Who Are Successful
And good for them, but I'm sorry, maybe you think that reaching your life goals and starting a family is "success," but I feel like getting to work on time and bringing my own lunch is pretty impressive, too.
Learn How To Read Minds Then
If your partner doesn't know everything going on in your head, then are they really the person for you? No, probably not, and nobody else will be, either, because humans aren't mind-readers.
There Are Rules To This Thing, OK?
I may be a hot mess, but at least I know better than to be a dick to people who are waiting tables or check my Snaps so everyone can hear but no one can see what's going on.
I Wash My Hair Sometimes
How do these girls do it who master makeup and look like a Barbie doll all the time? I can't even find a foundation that doesn't make me look like I'm wearing it.
We're Flying High Or Way Too Low
It keeps me on my toes. I wake up and I'm like, "so what's it gonna be today? Are we in a good mood or is the end of the world nigh?"
Don't Talk To Me About My Public Social Media Pages
Mind your own business, I don't even know what I'm doing half the time, so if you don't understand what I just tweeted or are "worried about me," well, join the club, friend.
It's Not Like I Asked To Be Born
I'm not ungrateful. It just seems like a cruel trick to bring another human into existence and then basically tell them that they're gonna have to figure it out as they go.
Life Is Gonna Be What It's Gonna Be
Here's a serious question, what do you think it means to have a night that's like a PowerPoint? Was it long and pointless, or did it flash before your eyes?
But Pizza And Cheese, Though
Why do all the foods that taste so yummy and delicious have to be the foods that are so bad for you? And I don't wanna hear anything about how tasty veggies are, because they aren't.
Who Has Time For A Whole Breakfast?
This is what I mean. Eating healthy is difficult, and having the energy or time to eat a balanced diet that's scheduled and supports your body? Pretty much impossible. Thanks for nothing, nutrition!
I'm Really Not That Smart
A lot of energy goes into using the right kinds of words and opinions to make it seem like I know what's going on in the world, but really, I have no clue and just am repeating what Twitter tells me.
Self-Care Is My Lifeline
If doing a face mask isn't going to save me from my impending doom, then I don't want to be saved, because that just pretty much means it's all beyond help anyway.
Chicken Tender Grease Is Who I Am
Why isn't this something that our iPhones have figured out? Who has hands that are free of food grease often enough that this isn't an issue in their life? I would like to know.
Dating? Forget It
It's more like getting to know one another until you find a socially acceptable reason to hate them and then going back to the dating apps because that's somehow more comfortable.
