Waiters Share Valentine’s Day Disasters They’ve Witnessed And They’ll Make You Evil Giggle
We love love, especially when it happens far away from us and goes incredibly poorly for other people. It's not because we're bitter or want to see the downfall of humanity or anything... It's just funny when it happens to someone who's not us.
Luckily, we have wait staff to share all the juicy intel on Valentine's dates that went horribly wrong. Whatever your views on love, these just prove that we all should've just stayed home and ordered in.
Note: Never Dress Up And Take Your Friend Out To Dinner On V-Day
"I blew my car's tire and my friend came in to bail me out. We're both straight dudes and forgot it was Valentine's. We decided to have dinner and both were coming from an important meeting so had suits on. We didn't catch on until the end about how the entire wait staff thought we were just the cutest gay couple." —uReallyShouldTrustMe, Reddit
Ruining Your Engagement Is Our Special Today
"There was a note in our reservations that it was an engagement, they wanted champagne, a specific seat, and a bunch of other stuff. The server comes up to the table with something like 'so I read we're celebrating an engagement, congratulations.' Confusion from the woman; glaring from the guy. He hadn't proposed yet. She ruined it." —ChefHannibal, Reddit
Leave A Trail Of Vomit So He Can Find You After He Dumps You
"I served at a Japanese hibachi restaurant and once had a couple come and the dude dumps her after the meal. She then gets up and throws up a trail probably a good 20 feet as she runs to the bathroom. The dude got up and left the girl and I was left to clean the mess." —moneybagmeisenheimer, Reddit
Sir, Your Waitress Shouldn't Be Your Rebound
"These two were on a date and the guy went to go use the bathroom. The girl just up and leaves after he went to the restroom. When the guy came back he sat around for a while until asking his waitress where she went. She replied with saying that she left. The guy then asked the waitress if she would go on a date with him. The waitress said no." —OffensiveGender, Reddit
Here's Another Solid Piece Of Advice: Don't Have A Public Breakup On Valentine's
"They came in at lunch the day after, so it was pretty empty, but it was still for a Valentine's Day date. They were both pretty nice at the beginning, the guy asked for a picture and whatnot.
As the meal went on, the dude got progressively drunker and by the time I brought the cheque out, the woman was gone. When the dude gave me his card, he said 'I’ll give you a bit of advice. If you’re taking a girl out to break up with her, do it at a McDonald’s and not an expensive restaurant.'" —_StanleyYelnats, Reddit
The Worst 20 Minutes Of Their Lives
"He proposed, she said no. He cried and tried to change her mind for 20 minutes while she sat there stony-faced. She finally got up and walked out. He paid and left in tears." —SpinachandChickpeas, Reddit
Valentine's Day Romance At The Strip Club (You Read That Correctly)
"Not a waiter, but in my strip club bouncer days, we had one of our regulars get suited up and bring flowers in one V-day to try and woo one of the dancers. It did not work. Pro-tip: If every time y'all hang out it involves you giving her money, she is not into you." —BigBodyBuzz07, Reddit
Wouldn't Every Other Person Leave To Cry Alone After Getting Dumped??
"I had a section one V-day that had a marriage proposal, a 40th anniversary, and a break up all at the same time. The breakup was the worst. The guy brought his high-class date a gift; a mini ceramic bear holding balloons. He presented it when I was at the table and she looked at it like it was a hot turd. I just knew this was not going to end well.
She left at the end of the meal and must have said something because he stayed at the table for another 40 minutes, head down and crying. I felt bad, he saw the celebrations going on at the other tables." —Odd-Examination, Reddit
At Least He Got A Backflip Out Of It And Can Date Gymnasts Now
"A guy did a backflip and asked a girl to be his valentine... She declined. I walked up to him and asked if he was fine, he said it took him a week to perfect." —beejeko, Reddit
Do You Really Want A Proposal At Chili's, Though?
"My wife and I were in Chili's several years ago. In the next booth was a really young guy who had a big bunch of roses on the seat next to him. He kept looking at his watch, looking at the roses, and popping open a ring box for a peek at the ring.
He did this for a half-hour or so, then began calling and texting someone (presumably his girlfriend) over and over. As we were waiting for our check, he hands my wife the roses, mumbled something, and walked out. Poor guy." —AZScienceTeacher, Reddit
Love Doesn't Leave Even When There's Puke On Her Shoes
"I used to be a waiter in a 5-star restaurant. It was my first week. One guy was about to propose it was obvious by how much he was sweating he was drenched. I tried to make them both relax.
They went on to finish up their meal. As soon as the cake arrived he then went on one knee, she stood up suddenly he vomited right on her high heels. After the shock of what just happened, she still ended up saying yes." —KindSoul1, Reddit
Maybe Skip The Whole "One Knee" Thing If Osteoarthritis Is In Your Way
"Old man proposed to an old woman. He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldn't get back up and we had to call an ambulance.
My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion." —Reddit
I Propose A Toast...And That We Get Married
"Not my table, but back in my Olive Garden days, we had a man who looked to be in his mid-20s tap his empty wine glass with a fork to call for the attention of the surrounding strangers, then get down on one knee with a silver band in hand, and ask his girlfriend/date to 'accept this promise ring.' She looked horrified start to finish." —LeapingMouse, Reddit
This Is Why You Don't Do Gross Cutesy Couple-y Stuff In Public, People
"Had a man and woman sharing dessert and the man playfully put a bit of the ice cream on her nose she then did the same and he did it back once more but with a different flavor of ice cream.
She then flipped out at him because 'you know I like chocolate the most why would you waste it, you idiot.' In the end, she stormed out 'cause the man couldn't comprehend how much she was blowing up the situation." —Yeetacus, Reddit
A Cute Date With His Girlfriend...Until His Wife Showed Up And Ruined It
"In college, I waited tables and Valentine's Day was always a good one in terms of tips. I once saw a couple come in to eat, halfway through the dinner the man's wife shows up to surprise the couple.
The wife took the wine bottle and poured the remnants on the husband's head, took off her ring and told the girlfriend she could have him. He tipped me $100." —kobra_kyle, Reddit
This Guy Is The Worst Human Being Ever, And That's Not An Exaggeration
"I was working as a waitress in a sushi restaurant and Valentine's Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift. This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine's Day off and we'd just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.
Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION. He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous." —venustas, Reddit
This Cook That Got A Salmon To The Face Is Still Having A Better V-Day Than Most Of These People
"Probably not the kind of story you're looking for, but one Valentine's day at my restaurant we got totally slammed and the kitchen started melting down. In the middle of dinner service, the head chef freaked out, threw a side of salmon at one of the line cooks and walked out." —rachelway82, Reddit
At Least Get Her Name Right If You're Going To Propose
"A few years ago, I had finished my shift at a pub I was working at, and sat at the bar with a drink. I was about to leave but it sounded like a proposal was about to happen, a few people went quiet listening in. Then, it happened.
Guy: 'Hannah, will you marry me?' He kneeled in front of his seated girlfriend. Girl: 'Hannah? Who the heck is Hannah?' She yelled, threw her drink at him and walked out. Guy paid and walked out, looking very red." —Skyre_Rose, Reddit
Here, Babe, A Throwaway Coffee Cup To Symbolize Our Trashy Love For Each Other
"Ex Barista here. Some guy on Valentine's Day came in and asked us to write on the cup 'will you marry me?' It did not go well. She looked at the cup while he went down on one knee. She said nothing, put the cup back down and just walked away shaking her head.
He, on the other hand, got pissed and started to rant about how she should have gotten over him sleeping with her sister already...we had to ask him to leave." —TheThrowawyFox, Reddit
Okay, What Did He Expect Scheduling Their First Date On V-Day?
"Not really a disaster, but this guy came in and said he was waiting for his date. He stayed for 5 hours waiting and she never showed. He eventually ordered for himself and asked that I remove the other glass of water from the table. He said it was their first date." —ryanzbt, Reddit
