Wedding Fails To Fuel Your Forever-Alone Fire
"The biggest day of your life" is a lot of pressure to live up to and clearly these people can't do that. No offense, but something went so horribly wrong during these not-so-holy matrimonies, and I doubt that it was nobody's fault.
Here are some people whose big days ended in an ample amount of chaos and I'd be lying if it doesn't make my single heart warm a little bit. I do feel bad for them, obviously...but I'll remember these any time I start to think about tying the knot.
The Groom Who Forgot His Pants (But Hopefully Not The Ring)
Apparently, his pants somehow *cough* got lost on the way from the hotel to the venue. This groom is standing here going over the logistics of the ceremony like a professional while feeling that lovely breeze. Nothing like a stiff wind to get you in the mood to get hitched.
This Has Made Me Decide There's Going To Be Zero Open Flames At My Wedding
Weddings with open bars, plenty of drunk and happy people, and 2012 pop music with lots of autotune generally don't mix with literal fire. Yeah, after this wedding went up in flames I'd instate a "no fire" policy too.
A Bird In The Hand Is Worth One Terrified Face In The Background
This man's reaction is all of us single people watching couples interact with birds that are probably going to poop on us, and just generally our feelings about life. He's my new hero and mentor.
"My Husband Wore A Minions Bandaid In All Our Wedding Photos"
They were so close to having an adorable wedding photo...too bad it was ruined by the husband's need to treat the boo-boo with literal children's bandaids. Even though this sucks, I still kind of believe my mom when she said that cartoon bandaids made them heal faster.
Why You Don't Trust The $10 Dress With Free Shipping For Your Wedding Day
Okay, so it's a great thing that the big wide world of online shopping exists and we can get literally anything to our doorstep in a day...but don't do this for your wedding. Please. It's just really not smart.
The Maid Of Honor Who Forgot About Glass Cups Apparently
I'm curious to know if this MOH is literally a frat boy because that's exactly like how she's acting. She reminds me so much of Brad from my 9:30 Chemistry class who never came and whose mortal enemy was a white folding beer pong table.
This Poor Bride Who Got A Mosquito Bite On Her Forehead The Night Before Her Wedding
I want to cry I feel so bad for this lady. Even though you can cover this up, it's still going to swell and look weird, and you're going to want to keep scratching it. Even. Though. You. Can't. This is torture.
Here Comes The Beautiful Blushing Brian
Here's another thing that's wrong with weddings—everyone has such a high expectation that everything has to be perfect. But I hate to break it to you, just like the other 364 days of the year that Starbucks gets your name wrong, they're still going to do it on your wedding day so you might as well accept it.
The Groom Who Tried To Play It Cool
Kudos to this groom's brain for doing damage control and telling him that he's playing it cool as a cucumber. Because sure, yeah, he does look cool as a cucumber...if you just told the cucumber what people were buying it for just before the 50 Shades of Grey premiere.
Pays For Massive Ceremony, Doesn't Pay For Parking
If you're literally spending thousands of dollars and tons of time and prep on your wedding, you should at least be putting in the effort to pay for parking. Even if it's in LA and is like $20 for an hour.
Hot Dogs: Now For Weddings
This is what happens when you give a tried and true grilling dad the budget for your wedding. He's going to do exactly what he does every single day in the summer, and that's cook up some weenies.
They Nearly Nailed The Holding Up The Groom Photo!
I bet this groom is regretting his decision to schedule his wedding in the middle of bulking season. I know it's tempting to try and #gain a wife and muscle mass, but if your entire wedding party isn't going #beastmode with you, they're not going to be able to curl your body mass.
This Wedding Really Did Go Down In Flames
Hey, at least they don't have to cut the cake. That's such an old and tired tradition and I'm glad we're finally moving away from it. Out with the old and bring in the new fun thing—scraping the charred pieces of the cake off of a burnt-out car wreck.
You Know It's a Good Dress When All Three Of The Grandmothers Show Up In It
This isn't a fail, really. These ladies are absolutely slaying and they're doing it all while knowing that they look good. Because how could you not know that when two other ladies look just as good?
I Vow To Ask You About Your Bacon Intake Daily
This is a sweet little thing to be memorialized forever. That little whisper asking your bride why her fingers are bloated, I would love that to be in the wedding video for me to rewatch over and over and over again. Wouldn't add to any insecurities at all.
Why Take The Tags Off If You're Just Going To Wear It For One Day?
This is why I don't ever want to get married. They cost so much money that you're literally going to be eating Mr. Noodles for six days a week trying to save up for it. This man can't even afford to spend the coin on a pair of dress shoes, since he's got to go to JC Penney after this and return them for that 30-day promise.
Pro Tip: Don't Leave The Cake For The Dog To Eat
What kind of a savage dog sees the cake and decides that it's going to lick the frosting off? That's the kind of thing that I do when I'm spiraling.
You're Never Too Old To Party...But You Can Definitely Be Too Young
Heck yeah, lil 12-year-old, get that party experience in early while you're still young and fresh and have a liver that hasn't combusted yet. So put down those Barbie dolls because those are prime partying years if you're feeling self-destructive.
"We Forgot To Decorate The Car. Thankfully One Of The Groomsmen Came Through"
Great decor, 10/10. I'm not trying to be judgy but you'd think if you were going to be speeding away in a getaway car in front of your friends and family, you'd at least get it washed. Or, if you're too broke from the wedding, just park it outside in the rain.
Get You A Friend Who Lets You Know Your Dress Is Too Short...While You're Onstage
Her friend had options and I think she chose the right one. she could've just continued to let the bride stand onstage and...display her carrot cake, but she decided to cut the show short and send her back to the bakery.
