Women Share The Pettiest Revenge They’ve Taken On An Ex After A Breakup
Everyone always talks about how, when someone wrongs you, it's better to turn the other cheek and take the high road. However, getting even by being petty is definitely more satisfying and far more fun.
These women on Reddit shared the pettiest things they've done after breakups and they are my idols.
Good Luck Finding A Stream Now!
"I waited until fifteen minutes before the new season of Game of Thrones started to change the password on my HBO account that I knew he was still using to watch the show."
George R.R. Martin would approve of this kind of revenge.
Guess Who!
"He repeatedly cheated on me with multiple women, so I had my pregnant roommate piss on a test and then I just dropped it at his front door.
"No note, no way to know who it came from. The panic was real."
He's Getting Texts From All The Chads And Brads
"In 2010, I found out my fiancé had been having an affair with our neighbor (for the past six months), two weeks before our wedding.
"For eight years, I have been giving creepy dudes my ex's phone number instead of mine. His sister always texts me his new phone number when he changes it. She also sends photos and video of him losing his mind angry when he gets a call from a dude looking for a hookup. His sister is the real MVP here, though."
This Is Straight-Up Genius
"Right before we broke up, I loosened the seams in all his pants and shorts so that as soon as he sat they'd rip open on him.
"It's been 10 years and that still makes me laugh."
You're One To Talk About Ruining Lives
"My husband of 24 years was cheating on me and I figured it out, but he kept the identity of the other woman a secret. I did some investigating and found out she was a coworker who was also married, so I went to her house, knocked on the door, and told her husband.
"My ex had the nerve to call and accuse me of ruining people's lives."
Smells Fishy To Me...
"I put prawns in his curtain pole."
It's so simple, and yet so evil. He's going to end up tearing up his plumbing to figure out where the bad smell is coming from.
Can You Imagine The Smell, Though?
"I let my ex keep the cat we got together (after he begged me) only to have him call me a month later saying he didn't want the cat anymore.
"Turns out, my ex hadn’t cleaned the cat litter since before I'd moved out! I was mostly mad for the kitten's sake. I ended up dumping the whole litter box out on his living room floor then left with the cat."
He Was Definitely Getting Calls All Through The Night
"A long time ago, my boyfriend cheated on me with a friend so I went on Craigslist and put an ad up for cheap tickets for an upcoming local concert.
"I put my ex's phone number on it and asked for people to call only after 10 p.m."
Changing The Channel Is Going To Be A Nightmare
"He had been mistreating me for months while we were living together and then, one day, he told me he wanted me out of the house by the time he came home from a guys' night.
"So I left and took a few TV remotes with me. For about a year after, he'd text asking about a remote and I'd innocently suggest looking in the couch."
A Little Discount As An Occasional Treat
"I still use my ex's phone number when I 'forget' my Walgreens card and the cashier does phone lookup.
"He's so stingy I know he’ll never redeem any of his points, so I randomly get $5/$10 off at Walgreens sometimes."
This Is Such A Financial Commitment To Being Petty
"My ex was super into the drift scene and loved cool cars but he was always super broke. He broke up with me on Christmas Day by gifting me a pair of socks and telling me it wasn't working out after I'd bought him a ton of nice Christmas gifts.
"The next week, I took all my hard-earned money I was saving up to buy myself a new car and bought the exact model he talked about constantly but was too broke to buy himself. I made sure he saw it by driving through the parking garage he worked at."
What's The Exchange Rate On That Currency?
"He got another girl pregnant, so I broke up with him and demanded he return all of my things, including anything I bought him. He asked for some money he had given me back.
"Instead, I got on my computer and printed out 'a**hole dollars.' I printed and cut them out then put them in a sealed envelope and we exchanged items. He didn't realize until he got in the cab to go back home that he had fake money. And, no, I never gave him back his real money."
A Surprise For Later...
"I cut one sleeve off of a dress shirt the other woman had bought him and put it back in the closet so only the good arm was showing. I got a text from him a couple of weeks later that simply said 'are you serious!?'
"Yes... Yes I am"
This Is The Sweetest Karma
"The ex had cheated on me after 12 years with someone he met at work. When that went sour, he lost his job and ended up falling behind on his car payments.
"The repo company had my place as his last known address, so when they showed up here looking for the car I invited them in, used Facebook to get them as much info on The Ex and New Girlfriend as possible, gave them his parent's address, and sent them on their way with a smile."
Make Him Feel Like He's Losing It A Little
"My ex unexpectedly dumped me just after I'd landed him a new job and while we were sharing an apartment. We spent a few weeks living together broken up, and he wasted no time going on new dates.
"I cut his sneaker laces slightly shorter and recapped them so he thought they'd magically shrank."
He Called The Cops Over Protein?
"After the gym bro I was dating gave me the silent treatment for a week (while we lived together) and then I found out he was cheating on me, I hid all his protein powder in his dirty laundry.
"He called the cops about three weeks later, who then showed up at my house asking about stolen protein powder. I informed them that, had he done his laundry in the last three weeks, he would have found it. Wish I could have seen my ex’s face when the cops informed him he needed to do his laundry!"
Guys Just Want To Have Fun
"After a messy breakup, my ex kept harassing me. I asked him to stop but he refused because it was 'too fun.' So, in the spirit of 'fun,' I posted a shirtless picture of him and his phone number on Craigslist's men-seeking-men page. The headline? 'Young guy looking for fun.'
"Not only did he have to change his phone number, but he also never bothered me again."
We Stan A Tall Queen
"I spent our year together wearing flats because he was self-conscious that he was slightly shorter than me. When we broke up, I bought the tallest, sexiest heels I could find and wore them to a mutual friend's party.
"The look on his face when I arrived towering over him was priceless."
That's Just Smart Shopping
"I returned the fancy, expensive, never worn dress shirt he had bought and accidentally left at my place.
"I exchanged it for store credit and then bought a fancy dress for myself."
Leave A Little Parting Gift
"When I moved out, I took everything of mine except I purposely left a box of magnum condoms half-empty in one of the bathroom cabinets.
"He never could fit into such large protective gear."
Rory Would Approve
"I watched all of the Gilmore girls on his Netflix account. His recommendations were forever ruined."
He'll be getting recommendations for chick flicks for the rest of his life. He's going to hate it.
He'd Never Be Able To Relax
"A friend of mine had the spare key to her ex's truck as well, so we would randomly ride by his house and hit the panic button to set the alarm off."
This is the perfect kind of revenge because it will always keep them on their toes.
Goodbye Handsoap
"He always spoke about how he hated his dad for cheating & lying to his mom, so when I find out he cheated on me with multiple women, I went to his apartment and found a photo of us on his bedside table & wrote, "Just like your daddy" on it.
"I also took all his toilet paper & hand soap."
That's Almost Too Petty
"I logged into his Pokemon Go account and deleted his whole box."
Good luck getting all those Pokemon back now! It looks like his ex he'll miss forever isn't the only thing he lost that day.
Sorry, She's Not Your Personal Assistant
"When my ex-husband left me for another woman in the Philippines, he did not stay to bother moving his stuff and expected me to do it. I put everything up for sale in a garage sale and left for another state myself knowing all the stuff he rented in his name like the tv, washer and dryer and other expensive items were still in the house.
"Three years later I get an angry message from him demanding to know why I didn't bother calling the rental place because now he’s got a pending felony for the couple thousand dollars worth of unreturned property."
That Poor Family Was Probably So Confused
"I still had access to his fams Netflix, so I would change the names to 'cheater,' 'lying pos,' 'I am garbage and treat women badly.'"
When they read all of those usernames, I wonder if the family knew which child they were referring to.
Reusing Love Songs? Come On
"I lived in an arts dorm in college and my ex was a musician. We wrote a song together using a miniature upright piano and a guitar.
"We lived on the same floor and one day I heard him singing it with some other girl so then I opened the door took the piano from under her hands and I still have it to this day."
The Best Kind Of Shopping Is Revenge Shopping
"I didn't wait for the breakup to get petty. I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me through his friend a couple of days before my birthday. He took me shopping for a new outfit for my birthday, got my hair and nails done, then took me to an expensive dinner and movie.
"At the end of the night, I asked that he take me home. When we got there, I said, 'I know you've been cheating on me with the ugly coworker of yours.' I went inside, locked the door, and changed my phone number."
There's A Casualty In Every Revenge Plan
"I had a psycho ex who was really into gardening. He was a pathological liar, and he loved to grow pumpkins for Halloween. Well... after I found out about all his lies, I ended things, and he agreed I could come to get my stuff from his place while he was at work.
"This particular year, he only had one pumpkin that ended up doing well. So I ripped it out of the ground, smashed it to pieces, and put it under his covers like the godfather. Right on his side of the bed. Dirt and all."
That's More Than Just Mildly Inconvenient
"I went to his apartment and took (fine, stole) one of every shoe. I threw them out on the freeway as I backtracked the 12-hour drive I'd just made."
How are they supposed to replace their shoes when they don't even have shoes to wear to the store?
