Dating Norms From The 1950s That Will Leave You Cry-Laughing
People always say that the 1950s were the "good old days," and that may be true if you were okay with eating gelatin and weird casseroles every day. But we're... not? All tea no shade, but the 1950s were a strange time and the dating norms were super questionable.
Here are some golden age dating tips courtesy of Windy Sombat's "Teenage Dating in the 50s" article that will leave you feeling thankful you were born later or maybe kinda depressed you weren't. Tinder is great and all, but after spending many a night lying awake freezing in some guy's sheet-less bed, a 1950s milkshake date sounds fabulous.
They Used To Double Date Meanwhile My Friends Won't Respond To My Texts
Imagine actually getting set up on a date and getting a friend to willingly come with you. This is such a foreign concept to me because my friends will legit leave me on read even if we're supposed to hang out in twenty minutes.
Wow, Exclusivity, Whatever That Is
The 50s really were a different time because there was such a thing as "exclusively seeing someone." What even is that? Nowadays, even sidechicks have sidechicks and we're all running around confused.
The Dude Was Required To Give Her His Jacket
Nothing says "I'm personal property" like wearing a sweater with your own-excuse me, your boyfriend's name on the back. This is wack as all get out and I'm glad we've moved onto just getting tattoos of each other's names on our backs.
"Oh, Jeremy Didn't Call Me Six Times This Week? Canceled."
This would be the nail in the coffin in 2019. I'm basically asleep constantly so I'd never pick up, and my schedule changes with the wind so any guy who wanted to take me out better clear a time slot for Wednesday from 4 am-5 am.
It Ain't Real If It's Not Her Third Finger On Her Left Hand
So, we know that the wedding ring goes on the fourth finger on the left hand, so it only makes sense that your sweet heart's class ring goes on your third. This definitely isn't suggestive or a pretty speedy practice for 16-year-olds. No way.
Monogamy Made You Cool I Guess
Apparently, people saw having a date as something that raised your social stock. I definitely can't relate. Every time I've been the plus one to a microbrewery euchre night I've felt myself get a little less socially capable.
Bumble Would've Gone Down In Flames
You would have to be 50 shades of crazy to have the audacity to ask a man out if you were a girl. You're supposed to be the passive object that reaffirms his self-worth. Shame on you, didn't they teach you that in school?
If A Guy Told You You Had "Nice Hair," Make Sure You Tell Him You Think You're Ugly
What a fantastic way to just feel worse about yourself. Just imagine in 2019 a stranger compliments you and you clap back with all the reasons you're internally imploding. That'll show them and totally be a natural response that wins their affection.
Here You Go Girl, A Guide On How To Craft Your Personality To Appeal To Guys
If you're wondering where all this stuff comes from, here's your answer. Women were literally given instructions on how to make themselves "interesting" to talk to. I'm not even going to say how problematic that is. Instead, I'd like to tell you how much I enjoy the competitive nature of sports.
Susan, I Would Hug You Goodbye, But I'm Afraid Of The Clap
Adults were really out here crafting some drama, self-loathing, and lies for young developing minds. But that's all good as long as they're not getting freaky. This is like a real-life version of that Mean Girls scene except it's zero percent funny.
Not Gonna Lie, The Popular Date Spots Were Cute As Heck
Okay, for how wack 50s dating was I would totally be into an adorable ice cream date. Except maybe make it vegan, yogurt, and no toppings because I'm trying the keto thing and I don't want to cheat too much.
Female Objectification: In Clubs Through Time
It's almost comforting to know that creepy dudes were basically grabbing a girl and making her dance with them in the 50s. Almost. It's just not a great thing to do and will give you an involuntary twitch every time you smell Axe body spray and feel something on your back.
He Paid For Everything... Even If She Had To Sneak Him Cash
Imagine having such fragile masculinity that if you need to do some covert money laundering to pay for two coffees. I know this was the norm, but wow was this ridiculous.
Imagine, Just Imagine, Spending $7 Per Month On Dates
So, it's actually about $74.52 today with inflation taken into consideration. If you guys were getting $30 dinner bills every time this would be like two dinners and a drink night. I don't know how you live your life, but I'd be lucky if my significant other e-transferred me $5 to split a medium pizza.
Boy Spent $1.20 And Was Sad
Imagine thinking that because you took a girl out and spent your precious money that means you two are heading to the back of the car together. Also, a $1.20. Really? That's like $12 today, or one fancy margarita at a hipster bar.
Police "Supervised" Those Steamy Cars
Yeah okay, let's all pretend this was fine. Hopefully, nobody actually went to these because dear God does this sound like the creepiest thing in the world. Nothing like having some quality time with the car lights on while the boys in blue kept a watchful eye and some binoculars equipped.
