Deal Breaking Traits People Are Warning Against, And We Should Listen
Deal-breakers don't have to be groundbreaking and terrible ethical dilemmas. Rather, they can be as simple as someone's tone of voice. Deal-breakers happen when someone's values, behavior, or even hobbies don't align with your standards and expectations.
However, there are some common deal-breakers that could be applied to pretty much anyone. These people share some deal-breakers that may not seem like a big deal but will help you dodge a bullet if you avoid them too.
"Being Rude To Wait Staff" - nolindlitch
Although they're likely never going to see that waiter again, their rudeness is an indicator of their personality in general. They may end up being a narcissist who sees others as inferior to them and only keeps people around that serve them.
Don't be surprised if they become rude to you too when they don't get their way.
"Shouting at Their Partners In Public" - Deleted
This is reflective of deeper anger management and temper issues. First of all, your partner should never raise their voice to you at all, not even in the heat of the moment.
However, doing it in public is an even worse way of trying to assert their dominance and control you.
"Lack Of Compassion. They Only Seem To Care About Themselves"
A lack of compassion is a lack of empathy in general. This means that they lack the ability to see beyond their own perspective.
This will make communication and confrontations even more difficult, as they will never take the time to understand what is bothering you or fix it.
"People Being Obsessed With Their Social Media Presence" - theragamuffinman
Usually, those who overuse social media are looking for validation through the acceptance of others. This is to cover up their insecurities and lack of self-confidence.
Often, they need to love themselves first before they're capable of loving anyone else.
"The Inability To Admit They Are Wrong Or When They Apologize And Then Justify Their Actions." - BarneyFifesSchlong
What happens in these kinds of relationships is that they quickly become toxic. They create an unbalanced power dynamic where one person often feels entitled and justified and the other tries to be the bigger person and apologizes even when they're not wrong.
The issues never actually get solved and rather pile on.
"A General Lack Of Curiosity Towards The World" - free_billstickers
Although there's nothing wrong with being content with what you have, having no ambition is no way to live either.
People often need some kind of goal or curiosity to keep them motivated and working hard. Otherwise, they start slacking, not only in their lives but in their relationships too.
"The 'Alpha' Mentality" - Tiny_Rage
When a man tries to prove himself as "alpha," it's because he's trying to prove it to himself.
This is a symptom of toxic masculinity that speaks of his insecurity in trying to prove he's "man enough." He'll often try to prove it by putting others down or being possessive.
"The Telepathy Tax"
"Partners who hold it against their S.O. when they fail to anticipate and fulfill their unspoken needs and desires." - WanderersEndgame
Partners can't be mind readers. If they don't express their needs, then they can't expect you to magically know about them and fix them.
"Anyone Who Takes Any Advice, Disagreement, Constructive Criticism As A Personal Attack" - pdxblazer
Refusing any kind of criticism is refusing to grow. None of us are perfect, so in order to be the best partners we can be, we need to be willing to constantly work on ourselves.
Interpreting this as a personal attack may indicate a lack of self-esteem as they're not able to separate the critique from their whole identity.
"Toxic Positivity"
"I need to be able to feel bad for a moment when I am dealing with something crappy. It helps me get through it. I dislike people-pleasers too, be kind but don't be a doormat."
Those who can't accept the lows are living in denial. They end up making toxic partners as they shame and take away their partner's entitlement to their feelings.
"Jealous Behavior"
"No, I do not want to sleep with the Barista because they asked my name for my order. Yes, I will be polite and smile to others from time to time, this does not mean I want to shag every human being I interact with."
This is a tough one because their jealousy can be a result of having been mistreated previously. However, this is an issue that they need to be able to work on rather than project unto their partner.
"Self Absorbed Behavior"
"The Kardashian/Housewives syndrome. You are NOT the star of some reality show, stop acting like it." - nottheotherone4
It's not healthy to give so much value to the perception of others as that means that as soon as someone perceives them negatively, it can break them.
"When They Think That Their Taste In Music Makes Them A Superior Person Instead Of Just Having Different Tastes." - existanthominid
This superiority complex may not seem like a big deal when it comes to music, but it is likely to present itself on higher levels.
It shows that they're not open to any opinion other than their own, and will deem anything or anyone that disagrees with them as "wrong."
"Being Needy And Acting Like You're The Only Human In Their Life"
"I didn't adopt a 37-year-old child." - Stressberries
Be wary of codependent relationships as they quickly become draining. One person ends up relying entirely on the other and just keeps on taking without giving in return.
"Refusing To Do Anything They Think Is Considered More 'Feminine.'"
"Not washing your face doesn't make you straight, it just makes you crusty." - soappistols
Who gets to decide what is feminine and what isn't anyway? At least hygiene should be neutral. Either way, if a man feels threatened so easily, then that speaks to his character.
"Pushing You To Do Something You Don't Want To Because ' Everyone Does It And It's Fun' " - Wildchickenfart
The real issue with this isn't what they're trying to pressure you to do, but their inability to respect your choices and decisions.
If they can't respect that, then how will they be able to respect you as a person? It'll start with small things, but it'll gradually bleed into bigger issues.
