Are You A Good Girlfriend? Signs You Might Be Falling Short
Being in a relationship is difficult at times, even when you're in a good relationship. That's why it's important that you check in with yourself and make sure that you're being a good partner, not just consider if the person you're dating is good enough.
There are some things you can ask yourself about to tell if you're being a good partner.
You're Expecting Too Much
It's alright to have high expectations of your partner, especially when you also have high expectations for yourself. But make sure you're not expecting the impossible. Understand that you're both human and that sometimes humans fall short.
You're Not As Supportive As You Could Be
Being part of a supportive system for another human is exhausting, but we do it because we love the people in our lives.
If you're finding that you're not taking care of the emotional needs of your partner, whatever that looks like, you might want to ask yourself why.
You Don't Put An Effort In With The Other People In Their Life
You don't have to hang out with all his friends all the time, but it's important that you put in some effort with his friends and family, even if you don't necessarily enjoy their company.
If you're not putting in that effort, you're probably not being the partner that they want. Especially if you expect them to spend time with your friends and family.
You Don't Give What You Recieve
Relationships are a lot of give and take, and sometimes you'll take more than you give and vice versa. If you're someone who is constantly taking more than you give back, you're not being fair to your partner. They should know you have their back.
You Think They'd Be Perfect If They Just Changed A Bit
Maybe you'd think he would be better if he dressed a different way, had a different job, or distanced himself from his friends. You might have good intentions with some of these changes, but at heart, you have to accept someone for who they are, not the potential you see.
You're Always Trying To Fix Them
Maybe you're someone who thinks fixing someone is different from changing them, because fixing them means you're addressing problems, but that isn't the case. Your job shouldn't be to fix anyone.
You Don't Have A Lot Of Patience For Them
Sometimes people do things that make you want to shake them and ask, "What are you thinking?!" But if you're someone who doesn't even have the patience to listen to them talk about their day or discuss something on their mind, you might want to readdress how you offer support.
You Constantly Need Their Attention
This isn't healthy for you, or for them. If you're a partner that is in constant need of their attention, whether it be through texting or in person, you're going to smother them and create an environment of codependency.
You Never Apologize Or Admit You've Been Wrong
People make mistakes. We're only human. And it sucks sometimes to have to apologize and admit that you're wrong. If you're someone who never does that and has the mentality of "I apologized in my head, if he didn't hear it oh well," you're not being a fair partner.
You Treat Them Like Hired Help
In a relationship, you and your partner have to pull your own weight. It isn't fair to assume that your partner is going to do all the cleaning or pay for all your outings. No one likes housework, but we've all got to do it.
You Don't Treat Them Well In Public
This one is a big one. You shouldn't have to hide your feelings from your partner, but if you're upset with them and then go off on them in public, ask yourself if that was really necessary. Don't do things like that just to embarrass your partner into submission so you get your way.
You're Jealous
If you're in a healthy relationship, there should be no reason for you to be jealous when other people are around. There is a big difference between your partner being around people of a different gender than there is with your partner actively flirting with someone else.
Don't treat them like they're always cheating if they've never given you a reason to feel that way.
You Don't Have Your Own Opinions
Being a "yes man" isn't going to be healthy for either of you. No one who deserves you should want to date a person who is just going to agree with everything they say. You shouldn't want to be a partner like that either!
You Expect Them To Spend A Lot Of Money On You
It's nice to go out and do things, but make sure that you pitch in sometimes. If you just expect your partner to pay for everything, you're making room for resentment and inequality in your relationship.
You're Controlling
You should both be living your own lives. A good partner may weigh in on what their significant other is doing, but by no means does a good partner control every aspect of their significant other's lives.
You Flirt With Other People
You shouldn't be flirting with other people while you're in a relationship, period. Especially if you're someone who would get upset if your partner was doing the same thing. Even emotional cheating is cheating.
You're Starting Fights For No Reason
No one likes to fight. That's why if you're someone who likes to pick fights for the drama or the bliss that comes from making up, you're not being a good partner. Don't shy away from a fight that needs to be hashed out, but don't pick fights that could just be a conversation.
You Don't Make Them A Priority
Your partner shouldn't be the be-all and end-all in your life, but they should certainly be up there with your top priorities. If they aren't, they're going to notice and your relationship is probably going to fall apart.
You're Rarely Positive
No one is saying that you have to be in a good mood all the time, but there is something to be said about being a positive person when you can be.
You Refuse To Make Changes
No one should want to make you a different person than you are. But if you're someone who refuses to adapt and change as you grow and learn things about the world, you might not be a good partner in a growing and changing relationship.
