Hard-To-Swallow Pills About Relationships That You Need To Accept In Your Love Life
Romantic comedies tend to make love seem like something pretty easy—sure, there are a couple of minor bumps in the road, but eventually, everything ends up happy and good in the end.
Unfortunately, relationships in the real world are never quite that simple, and there are truths about love and relationships that aren't that easy to accept.
You Can't Just Call It Butterflies
Sure, you're bound to have some moments of doubt or worries at different points of your relationship.
It's another thing entirely to feel constantly anxious about where you stand with a partner or have fears that they'll abandon you. If that's the case, that's not a relationship to stay in.
Love Isn't Always Enough
You can be incredibly in love with someone, but that isn't enough to sustain a relationship.
You also need trust, security, support, and a bunch of other things from a partner, and if you don't have those, it's not going to last.
It Only Digs A Deeper Hole
I understand that you don't want to hurt a partner's feelings, but by staying even after you know you want to leave, you're only doing more damage to both you and them.
It's painful, but you're better to honest up front.
The Honeymoon Phase Has To End
It's extremely misguided and dangerous to expect the intense romantic feelings you have at the beginning of a relationship to be sustained in the long run.
Love changes over time, and that's okay.
Respect Should Be The Basis Of All Relationships
When we're in love, it's easy to be more lenient with our partners when we would never allow someone else to treat us in the same way.
It's important to check yourself and check your partner to make sure respect is maintained.
Your Partner Can't Become Your Life
When caught up in a relationship, it's easy to find yourself melting into your partner's life.
However, it's important that you maintain some independent aspects of your life: your hobbies, friendships outside of your relationship, and your sense of individuality.
It's Not Going To Be Rainbows And Butterflies
Before you start to date someone, you get to fantasize a bit about who they are and how the relationship will go.
Once you actually are with them, you're going to learn a lot of things about them and experience situations that won't live up to your initial ideas.
You're Whole On Your Own
Stop looking at relationships as finding someone to "complete" you.
You need to be "complete" on your own, which means you are self-reliant in many ways. You can't be entirely dependent on a partner to make you feel whole and happy.
People Are Not Projects
You cannot go into a relationship with someone feeling dissatisfied with who they are in the hope that you can change them for the better.
It's not only likely to end poorly, but it's very selfish of you and unfair for you to expect someone to change for you.
There's No Right Timeline Or Way To Be In Love
It can be easy, when looking at the media and watching the people around you, to start thinking that your relationship isn't progressing fast enough.
Every relationship looks different and functions on its own timeline. It's entirely up to you and your partner.
Cheaters Are Going To Cheat
If you have consistent reasons to fear that your partner is being unfaithful to you, or they show signs of potential infidelity, you can't stop them.
Trying to control a partner's behavior is exhausting, and, ultimately, people who want to cheat will find a way to do it.
Be Ready For Some Compromise
The reality is that no one is perfect, and there will always be some small things about your partner that you don't particularly like.
Either you have to be ready to accept those things, or you have to let them go.
Love Isn't As Wholesome As We Think Sometimes
It's true, there are a lot of people in this world who seek out partners based on what they offer to them and what they can gain from the relationship, rather than how much they actually like the other person.
Early in a relationship, it's important to pay attention to why a romantic interest seems to like you.
There Needs To Be Balance
If you constantly find yourself putting effort into keeping the relationship together or taking care of the things that should be a shared responsibility, your unbalanced relationship will only lead you to feel bitter in the long-run.
Alternatively, if you find yourself not as invested as your partner, you should probably let them go.
Change Can Sometimes Drive You Apart
Someone might be your soulmate when you meet them, but as you grow and change over the years, you might not be the right people for each other anymore.
Sometimes personal changes drive couples apart, and it's not something you can entirely control.
Love Can't Justify Everything
You and your partner can be very in love and want to be together.
However, if you don't help each other become better or your relationship doesn't progress at all, you aren't meant to be together.
The Past Is The Past
There are going to be things about your partner's past that you might not be happy about, but you need to be able to move past that and focus on who they are in the present.
Conversely, a partner might have been good to you in the past, but if they aren't treating you well anymore, you can't hold onto the memory of how things were to justify staying.
Hindsight Reveals A Lot
It can be hard to see just how toxic and damaging a relationship is when you're in the midst of it.
Most times, we don't really understand the extent of how bad things were until we look back.
Love Is A Really Fickle Thing
You and your partner could check all the boxes, have great communication, treat each other well, and have a healthy relationship—and still end up feeling dissatisfied.
Sometimes, things fall apart without any clear rhyme or reason, and we just have to accept it.
It's True
In the movies, romance looks like running through airports, kissing in the rain, dramatic confessions, and lots of passion.
In reality, relationships look like cuddling on the couch, arguing about what kind of takeout to order, and lots of farting in front of each other.
