Here’s How Your Personality Type Affects Your Relationships
If you haven't figured out your relationship superpower (aka the thing you do exceptionally well) yet, that’s okay! You can take the Myers-Briggs personality test to find out what your personality type is, and that can help you figure out how you relate to others.
ISTJ — The Logistician: All About Commitment
The Logistician may be quiet and practical because they thrive on organization and logic, but that also makes them very responsible. They're able to carefully consider a relationship path and work towards its success as an end goal.
Romantically, this makes them dependable to a fault. They rarely see the point in blind dates and hookups, preferring to find love through mutual friends.
ISFJ — The Defender: The Best Listener
They're just looking for peace and harmony in the world, and they achieve that through their relationships. They're great for emotional support and always know what advice to give.
They usually only go through with a relationship if they think it has the potential to last. They also love to help their partner and tend to pick up chores.
INFJ — The Advocate: Quite Sensitive
This rare personality only makes up 1% of the population. These people have a skill for making meaningful connections. They are great empaths and can tell what someone's hidden motives are or what they require in a relationship.
This also makes them good communicators as they're able to read between the lines and understand their partner.
INTJ — The Architect: Not Afraid Of Healthy Confrontation
They are skeptical and independent, but they're also self-confident and take commitment seriously. They just approach relationships more carefully, and instead of falling deep and fast, they look for partners who will be able to satisfy them in the long term.
These people face conflict head-on rather than avoid it. It also makes it easier for them to move on after a breakup.
ISTP — The Virtuoso: Very Respectful
These are the kind of people who love to lend a helping hand. They are always observing the world thanks to their sense of curiosity. But this can also make them unpredictable in relationships since they're more likely to test the waters.
You can, however, count on them to respect their partner and their privacy and expect the same for themselves.
ISFP — The Adventurer: They See The Beauty In Everything
This is one of the most introspective personalities, and these people really rely on their principles and think decisions through. They love to connect with people and keep learning to become the best version of themselves.
As a partner, they are warm and positive as they're always able to appreciate the beauty in their partner and relationship.
INFP — The Mediator: Always Supportive
These people love to be needed, but they do genuinely care about others and their needs. They're people-pleasers in the best sense of the term, which makes them loyal, devoted, and encouraging.
You can count on this partner to love you deeply and express how they feel towards you. They just genuinely want to see you happy and want to support you in any way they can.
INTP — The Logician: The Bravest
Making the first move is no issue for this personality type. Their ability to always look for logic and answers is what motivates them and pushes them forward. That's why so many of them are behind many of our scientific discoveries.
They're able to deal well with context as they're both analytical and flexible. They're likely the ones to come up with a solution during a fight.
ESTP — The Entrepreneur: They Thrive On Spontaneity
These are charming and witty people you can't help but fall for. They're such people-persons that they're comfortable under pressure. This makes them good with conflicts.
They love to spoil their partner and bring them on adventures. Relationships with them are anything but dull.
ESFP — The Entertainer: They Live In The Moment
As the name suggests, this is the personality of many artists and musicians. They are naturally flexible and spontaneous and love to enjoy the moment.
They tend to be the partner who pushes the other out of their comfort zone to have fun and enjoy life. They're generous but also prefer to get things done promptly.
ENFP — The Campaigner: Super Devoted
Even though they tend to be the life of the party, they actually give more value to personal connections than to excitement.
They're the ones who jump quickly into relationships and are quick to show devotion and reliability. Yet they do tend to bring out the best in people with their loyalty, upbeat energy, and charm.
ENTP — The Debater: Skilled Communicators
This personality is definitely not afraid to speak their mind. They're analytical and outspoken, but they're witty about it. They're good at reading people so they're able to understand their reasoning even if they don't agree.
They're big on growth and love to push their partner to their limits and potential. That's also because they're able to see the big picture.
ESTJ — The Executive: Quite Decisive
You don't have to worry about this personality's ability to make decisions quickly and effectively. They're a good shoulder to lean on because they're not only able to provide guidance, but they're also good leaders.
As a partner, they are clear about their intentions and know what they want. They commit seriously and can resolve conflict easily.
ESFJ — The Consul: Supportive And Reliable
These people are very social and like to keep conversations light. But when it's time to get serious, they like to be of service and show support for their partner.
They tend to be in a good mood, which also makes them pretty reliable.
ENFJ — The Protagonist: They Help Others Grow
These natural-born leaders are great to have around as they tend to help those around them reach their potential and grow. This tendency to bring out the best in people is thanks to their loyalty, socialness, and authenticity.
They do best in comfortable and stable longterm relationships. They love to show affection and concern for their partner.
ENTJ — The Commander: They Have A Great Deal Of Willpower
This charismatic and confident partner is the kind of person who is always planning ahead. They might already have planned their wedding.
That's because they're sentimental and financially responsible. Plus, they love to share what they learn. They work hard for what and who they want.
The Other Five Basic Traits — Neuroticism
On top of the personality types we just mentioned, some psychologists have also defined human personality through five basic traits. They say the mix of these five qualities in an individual predicts the person's typical behavior.
The first is neuroticism, which is the tendency to experience negative emotions and react to stress. This interferes with their relationship satisfaction because they tend to project it unto their partners and create problems.
The Second And Third Are Conscientiousness and Agreeableness
Having these traits is great because they tend to reflect low impulsivity and high interpersonal trust.
A good amount of conscientiousness is reflected in a person being persistent and responsible, while agreeableness, like the word suggests, is the level of empathy and friendliness they show a partner.
Openness To Experiences
Someone who scores high on openness to new experiences is adventurous and creative and thrives more on curiosity and less on intolerance and rigidity. They love life and experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Extroversion
Extroverts are assertive and urgent, and they thrive in relationships because they're not introverted or shy.
Their extroversion works in their favor because it gives them charisma and helps them build strong connections; however, they can be so fixated on looking for the next adventure that they can undermine relationships.
There Are More Types — The Avoider
The name speaks for itself. Avoiders are the kind of people who hope love will somehow show up at their door but avoid doing anything about it.
They're not proactive about going on dates and meeting new people, and they get easily frustrated with the process. They're uncomfortable putting themselves out there.
The Dreamer
This is the person who grew up on rom-coms and is waiting for the day they get to live their own fairy tale. They have really high, often unattainable expectations for relationships, which makes it hard to find a partner who checks their boxes instantly.
Often, they will get fixated on one person even if that person hasn't shown proper interest.
The Martyr
These are the people who often put their partner first and their own needs second. They keep finding themselves in unfulfilling relationships in which they get taken advantage of for their empathetic and nurturing nature.
Martyrs become quickly committed and are often "serial monogamists." They also have a hard time walking away.
The Protector
A protector can't help but see the best in people. They often get caught up in the potential of a person rather than who they actually are. They're willing to go to any lengths to help a partner overcome their distress and will help them carry their baggage.
Protectors are fixers, and it can often leave them feeling drained.
The Charmer
These highly socially intelligent people use their wits, energy, and likeability to attract others. They live for the chase and thrill of the beginning of a relationship.
They fall in love impulsively but only for a short time. This makes it harder for them to stay in long-term monogamous relationships.
Type A Personality
Type A personalities are known for being high achievers and always chasing the next goal. This makes them self-driven. This also causes them to be high strung and have high stress levels.
In dating, though, this means that they're always willing to put in the work. They love to plan dates and show their love and affection.
Type B
Type B people are calmer and often thrive on being innovative and creative. They find more joy in the journey than the destination. They tend to be shyer in dating and prefer for the other person to make the first move.
They also tend to let the other person win an argument just to end the conflict. They are very loving and caring and like to show it in the little ways.
Variations Within Personality Types
It's important to remember that each individual is shaped differently through their experiences, genetics, and upbringing. It's more common than not for a person to relate to parts of each personality type and not all of the traits of one.
And certain events, points in life, and situations can bring out different sides in people.
Love Languages Vs. Personality
Along with personality, each person has their own love language. Two people with the same personality type can still have different preferences for how they like to give and receive love.
There Are Too Many Boxes—Don't Live In Them
At the end of the day, there's no point trying to put people in boxes simply to try and understand them better. There will always be exceptions and there will never be certainty.
It's better to get to know each person on a case by case basis and learn if they are compatible with you that way.
