Here’s Why Finding Love Can Be Harder For People Who Are Smarter
In life, most people would probably argue that being smarter is a good thing. Being smart is seen as an advantage. We educate ourselves in order to be smarter or appear smarter, but being smarter than the average person also has its downsides.
For instance, it turns out that smarter people could have a harder time finding love or finding a successful relationship. If your last few relationships have been duds, maybe you're just a genius?
Is There Really A Correlation?
The short answer? Yes, there really is a relationship (see what we did there?) between being smarter and having a harder time finding love.
Studies have shown that both men and women rank "intelligence" as an important trait to have in a partner, but they don't talk about the disadvantages of being more intelligent and searching for love.
So Why Is It More Difficult?
Beyond someone just telling you that it's harder for smart people to date, chances are you're looking for some examples or reasons.
Here are a few reasons that it's harder for more intelligent people to find love.
You Don't Rush Into A Relationship
You're probably not going to be willing to jump into something unless you're sure that it's the right move for you.
Getting to the point where you're confident in another person or in a relationship can take time, and that person might not want to give you that time.
You Over-Analyze Everything
You spend your time thinking about every piece of the puzzle, and often that leads to over-analyzing even the most basic aspects of your relationships.
This can be tiresome for you and your partner.
You Value Your Independence
If you're an independent thinker, that will often translate to other areas of your life.
Your need for your own freedom might outweigh your need for love or the need for someone else in your life.
You Think You're Better Than Others
Sorry to break it to you, but you're not actually better than anyone or more entitled to love than others are simply because you're smart.
Everyone brings something to the table, even if it's not the same things you value.
And You're Quite Comfortable Being Alone
Not only do you value your independence, but you're quite comfortable spending time on your own.
You're happy with your own company and secure in yourself both physically and emotionally.
Your Goals Are The Priority
You might have lofty career aspirations, or you're still pursuing higher education.
You may be determined to make those dreams a reality before you distract yourself with a relationship or make time for one.
You Have High Standards
Chances are, because you have big goals and dreams for yourself, you also have high standards for the people you surround yourself with.
If someone doesn't meet your expectations for them, you're not interested in waiting around for them to reach their potential.
Your Brain Wins Over Your Heart
Even if you are interested in someone, you also have a focus on facts and logic.
You want to protect yourself and look at the risks, which can take away from the more romantic parts of a relationship.
You Come Across As Intimidating
You might find it difficult to even begin a relationship because you come across as intimidating to other people.
People might not pursue something with you or show their interest because they fear being rejected.
You Don't Like Restrictions
More intelligent people are often people who like to think outside the box or are able to look at things in a non-traditional way, which doesn't always translate to relationships.
What you're looking for from a relationship might not be typical, so it can be more difficult to find someone looking for the same things as you.
You're Not Afraid Of Confrontation
If there's a problem in your relationship, you're going to address it.
You have no interest in dancing around issues or pretending something isn't bothering you in order to spare someone else's feelings.
You Can Be Difficult To Read
Someone who is smarter might not be as interested in sharing their emotions with someone.
And certainly not with someone they don't know well, which can make you difficult to read.
It's Not About Lowering Your Expectations
You might be sitting there thinking to yourself, "Well, why should I have to change who I am for someone else?"
You don't! The point is that these are challenges you might be facing that others aren't.
These Aren't Bad Qualities
It's important to remember, though, that none of these things are bad qualities.
You're not going to die alone because you're smarter, but it's good to be aware of some qualities that might be holding you back in ways you didn't realize!
Love Can Fulfill You In A Whole Different Way
As someone who values smarts or achievements, you might not even realize all the ways that being loved or loving someone else can change your life until you experience it.
It might not always be logical, but love is something truly valuable.
How Can You Set Yourself Up For Success?
It never hurts to be prepared, right?
Once you think about some of the qualities that could be holding you back, you're able to manage them better and maybe stop some of the habits or ideas that are restricting you.
Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Now that you're aware of it, you might want to try moving past some of the bigger issues.
If you know that you have a tendency to set your expectations high, try dating someone completely different than your usual "type."
Don't Fret About Becoming A Cat Lady
There's no age limit for love, there's no right way to find a relationship, and there isn't any sort of timeline that you have to follow.
It's different for every person, but as long as you're open to the possibility, you'll find it.
