How To Deal With Being Ghosted Without Freaking Out
You've matched with someone on Tinder or Bumble and things are going well. You decide to meet up and you hit it off! YAY! Finally, some kind of person who isn't a complete idiot...or so we thought.
You hang out a few more times and then all of a sudden, they are impossible to get a hold of and they just won't message you back.
Great, you've been ghosted.
Being Ghosted Is The Worst
Being ghosted is what happens when someone you were dating suddenly disappears and you no longer hear from them. It hurts. It feels disrespectful and makes you question if what you had was even real to begin with.
It's Really Hard To Process Something Like That
Processing something like that is difficult because it just feels so unnatural and cruel. How could someone do that? It's obviously going to be difficult, and it's hard not to go into a downward spiral or lash out.
There Are Some Things To Do To Try And Make It Easier
There are some things that you can do to help yourself cope with the situation a little better and keep you in a healthier frame of mind so that the healing process is a bit less painful.
Accept That It's Happened
First and foremost, you just have to make peace with the fact that it's happened. Denial will only get you so far, and admitting that it has happened is the first step to letting it go.
You Have To Believe You Didn't Do Anything Wrong
When someone ghosts you, it's because they're a jerk, not because you did anything wrong. It's hard in that moment not to think that you pushed them to do it, but there is no excuse for it, and you didn't do anything to deserve that.
Be Gentle With Yourself
Anytime you're going through something that's upsetting, it's important that you do your best to be gentle with yourself. You don't need to beat yourself up for not knowing better or blame yourself for what happened. Nothing good will come of that.
It's Cliché, But Try Not To Dwell On It
Even though it's so much easier said than done, try not to spend all your time and energy rehashing what happened. It happened, it is what it is, and you need to focus your energy on moving on.
Resist The Urge To Message Him
This one is a big one. Don't message him. You've probably messaged him a few times already and he hasn't answered, so it's time to leave it. You don't need to beg for anyone's attention.
Don't Post About It On Social Media
Don't go posting a bunch of stuff on social media about how he's a bad person. You should for sure post some fire selfies and maybe a quote or two, but don't be sore about it all over your feed.
Block His Number
If you feel brave enough to do it, blocking his number will actually bring you a lot of peace. It will make it certain that you're not going to hear from him, so you can stop waiting and start moving on.
Remove Him From Social Media
Taking him off your social media is a smart move as well. You don't need to see what he's doing with his life, and you don't need another place that you could possibly reach out to him.
Talk About It With Your Friends
This one really goes without saying, but have a good chat or two with your friends about how you're feeling and what happened. They'll be able to listen and support you in the way you need.
Don't Let It Scare You Away From Dating
It can feel really scary to go back out there and date after you've been hurt the way you have been. It kind of changes the way you see the world and dating, but try not to let it. Just because one guy did it, that doesn't mean they all will.
In Fact, Get Back Out There
When you're feeling like you've put it behind you, don't be afraid to get back out there. Even if it's just chatting with some guys on a couple of dating apps for a bit, it will help you.
Keep Taking Care Of Yourself
No matter how much you're hurting, it's important that you keep taking care of yourself. Keep doing the things you do in the name of self-care...maybe even spend a little more time doing those things.
Don't Expect To Hear From Him
One of the worst things that you can do is think that at some point you're going to hear from him. You might. But there is going to be no good that comes from sitting there and waiting for it to happen.
Try And Understand Why They Did It
When you're in a bit of a clearer state of mind, it might be helpful to try and objectively understand why they did it. Have they had bad dating experiences? Are they just a narcissist who cares about no one other than themselves?
Create Your Own Closure
One of the hardest things about getting ghosted is the fact that you never really get any closure. That's why you have to make it for yourself and make the ending the one that suits you best.
Make A Point Not To Ghost Someone
Being ghosted is the worst, right? So, one of the best things you can do after being ghosted is to really make a point not to do it to someone else.
Above All, Remember This Too Will Pass
More than anything else, it's important to just trust the healing process and know that you are going to feel better and that this will pass eventually. Just try not to make it harder in the moment than it needs to be.
