How To Know If You Should Make The First Move Or Not
In our society, it's pretty common for men to be expected to make the first move, but that doesn't mean you have to wait around for someone to express interest in you. If you want to make the first move, put yourself out there and just do it!
Before you make that first move, though, there's a couple of things you can consider to help you decide whether or not you should take that step.
Be Cautious Of Why You're Doing It
Are you going to ask someone out because you're ready for a relationship and you want to share your life with someone, or are you doing it because you feel like you should? If you're only doing it because you feel like you've been single for too long, or you're feeling left behind by your friends in relationships, that's not the right reason.
Consider If You Have Mutual Friends
Think about your relationship now with the person, and think about what will happen after you make that first move. How will it affect your mutual friends if it goes well, or if it turns into an awkward situation?
Hold Off If You're Not Sure About Their Feelings
If they're sending you mixed signals left and right, it's probably because they're not sure of their feelings for you, which means they wouldn't be able to commit to you right now. Give them some time to sort it out.
Don't Make The First Move If They're Involved With Someone Else
Life is not a My Best Friend's Wedding situation. Don't be the person who makes a move or expresses feelings for someone that they know is in a relationship. You have to respect that boundary.
Don't Make The First Move If You're Not That Kind Of Person
Not everyone is the type of person who feels comfortable putting themselves out there. There's a difference between stepping outside of your comfort zone and setting yourself up for failure. If you're not the person who makes the first move, don't be.
Do It If You're Okay With The Possibility Of Rejection
You have to be willing to accept that there's a chance they're going to say no or say they don't feel the same way. You hope that they say they're interested too and they're happy you made the first move, but it's not a guarantee.
If They've Told You They're Not Interested In A Relationship, Believe Them
If someone has told you they're not looking for anything serious, they're focussing on themselves, they're not ready for a relationship, or any of the other typical lines, don't make that move. Take them at their word and save yourself the trouble.
Don't Do It Unless You're Sure Of Your Feelings
Just as important as being confident in the other person's feelings is being confident in your own. Trying to start a relationship with someone that you're feeling unsure about isn't going to turn out well.
Listen To Your Instincts If They're Telling You To Make The Move
Trust your gut when it comes to deciding whether or not to make that first step. Don't talk yourself out of thinking someone has feelings for you because of your own insecurities.
Consider The Outcomes Before Making A Move On A Friend
Professing your love to your best friend and finding out he feels the exact same way sounds great in theory, but that's not always how it's going to work out. Before you confess your undying love, think about what will happen next, or what happens if he doesn't feel the same.
If You've Been Thinking About Doing It For A Long Time, Just Take The Plunge
You've convinced yourself they're into you, you've been waiting for weeks or months, but you keep putting it off. At that point, you just need to do it. If you've spent that long thinking about it, you need to know.
Has He Made The First Move Before, But Isn't Now? That Might Not Be A Good Thing
The guy you're thinking about asking out isn't a shy person, and he's made the first move on other women, so why isn't he making the move now? That could be the sign you need to let you know he's just not that into you.
Take The Risk If You're Getting Tired Of Waiting Around For Them To Do It
They might not be the type of person to typically make the first move, so you have to take matters into your own hands if you want anything to happen.
Make The First Move Even If They're Not Your Usual Type
Don't fall into the trap of thinking that because someone isn't your usual type, you shouldn't ask them out. If you're attracted to someone, focus on that. Don't worry about how different or similar they are to people you previously dated.
Do It If Someone You Trust Is Telling You To
By this, I mean that if your best friend is telling you that someone has feelings for you, or they're taking the role of the middleman that both you and the person you're interested in are talking to, listen to them. Trust them and take the risk.
Don't Do It If You're Still Dealing With Your Own Baggage
Regardless of the reasons your last relationship didn't work out, you need time to process. Jumping into a new relationship right away isn't going to help in the long run, and you'll just be bringing your baggage into it for someone new to deal with.
Wait A Little Bit Before Making The Move On Someone Fresh Off A Breakup
You may have been waiting for the moment that they break up with their longtime partner, but that's still something they need to deal with in their own way. Hold off on confessing your feelings until they've had time to process their own.
Don't Be The Person Who Thinks They Can Change Someone
Have you been waiting for him to change before you try for a relationship, but now you've decided you can be the one to tame him? That's a major warning sign for you that you shouldn't be making that move. You can't be the person who changes him.
The Decision All Comes Down To You
When it comes down to it, the worst thing that could happen is that you make the first move and the person doesn't feel the same way.
There can be a lot to consider before you make that move, but there's never going to be a hard and fast set of rules around when you should or shouldn't make that move.
Everybody Likes To Know Someone Is Interested
There's debate around whether men or women should be the ones making the first move, and girls worry about coming across as too forward if they do, but ultimately, everyone likes to be flattered or told that someone is interested in them.
Even if the feelings aren't reciprocated, it's good to put yourself out there and open yourself up to new experiences!
