How To Tell If Your Nice Guy Is Genuine—Or Just Good At Hiding Who He Is
Many women can relate to being a victim of a guy who seemed nice in the beginning but then turned out to be not so nice. It might have taken you a while to spot it because his red flags were well hidden.
The problem is that it can be hard to spot the difference between a guy who is genuinely a good person versus a guy who is pretending to be nice until he gets what he wants. Here are a few ways to tell if your guy is actually a good egg or not.
Rule Number One: Steer Clear Of The Self-Proclaimed "Nice Guy"
We should all know by now that any man who declares himself to be a "nice guy" or tries to use the fact that he's a nice person as a selling point for why you should be with him is not actually a good guy.
You shouldn't have to convince someone that you're a good person; your true colors will always show themselves.
He Accepts "No" As An Answer In Itself
We've all come across those people who just can't take no for an answer, but not your man.
He accepts that "no" is a full sentence. If you say no to something, it's not your way of secretly asking him to try to convince you to do what he wants or agree to something you're uncomfortable with.
He Takes Responsibility For His Actions
As Hannah Montana rightfully said, everybody makes mistakes. The important thing is how you handle those mistakes.
Your boyfriend is able to recover from his mistakes and take responsibility for his role in those failures or bad moments. He's not going to try to pin the blame on anyone else.
He Knows When To Apologize
He's able to acknowledge when you're upset about something and apologize.
He accepts the role that he plays in an argument and can acknowledge if he's made you upset or if his actions were hurtful.
And He Apologizes Properly
We're not talking about those half-hearted "I'm sorry that you took what I said the wrong way and got upset" kind of apologies.
No, no, we're talking about a real apology where he acknowledges your feelings as well as his own and comes to a resolution.
He's Confident About What He Brings To The Relationship
He's not turning to you as a source of validation for his own insecurity.
He doesn't expect you to give him compliments (though who doesn't appreciate a well-deserved compliment?), and he doesn't broadcast his accomplishments in hopes that you'll praise him.
He Accepts You For Who You Are
A sign of a nice person is their ability to accept people at face value, without trying to change them.
He accepts you for whoever you are right now, and he doesn't try to push you to be something different.
He's True To His Word
You know that if he says he's going to do something, he's going to follow through. His word isn't just something he tosses around when it benefits him.
It's important to be with someone whose words line up with their actions. That's a sign of a trustworthy, truly good person.
He's Forgiving
More than just being able to apologize sincerely, he's also able to forgive and move on.
There's a big difference between accepting someone's apology and offering them real forgiveness. Your good guy won't hold on to grudges or past arguments.
He's Kind To People He Doesn't Know
It's expected that someone is going to be nice to the people that they love and care about. A real indicator of someone's character, though, is how they behave with people they don't know.
Is he someone who is polite and kind to everyone they come across, or does he assume the worst of every person he meets?
He Never Resorts To Name-Calling Or Bad-Mouthing You
It's not realistic to say that you're never going to fight with someone just because you love them, but there's still a level of respect that you should expect your partner to maintain.
Even when he's upset with you or angry about something, he never puts you down unfairly or hurls insults that you don't deserve.
He Treats Your Friends With Respect
Many women have experienced the situation where their friend is completely in love (or infatuated) with some guy and then when you meet him he wants nothing to do with you.
A truly good guy will treat your friends with the same respect and kindness as he treats you with, because he can recognize that they're important to you.
Every Conversation Isn't Just About Him
Nothing is worse than going on a first date with someone only to spend two hours listening to them monologue about their life without ever asking you a question.
But that's not something your guy does. He isn't interested in only talking about himself! He wants to learn about you too.
He Pays Attention When You Speak
Knowing that the person you care about is putting in the effort to listen when you speak and remember the things you tell him can feel really rewarding.
It might not seem like a monumental thing, but the fact that he remembers you never like cheese on your hamburgers or that you hate driving over bridges is a great feeling in the moment.
He's Straightforward With What He Wants
A good guy isn't going to be interested in playing games or leave you feeling unsure about where you stand.
If he likes you, he'll tell you. On the flip side, if he isn't feeling it anymore, he'll tell you. And he won't just ghost you or say something mean to push you away.
He Does Things Without Expectations
If he buys you dinner or drops off a coffee to your office after you texted him that you didn't sleep well, it's not because he has expectations for what's to come.
He does things out of kindness, without thinking about what you'll owe him in return or what he can gain from it.
He Thinks Before He Acts
He understands that his actions have consequences, and he takes those consequences into account before making any decision.
He's not someone who makes rash decisions and leaves other people to pick up the pieces once he makes a mess.
He Wants To Talk About The Future
Someone who is genuine about their intentions and committed to a relationship won't have a problem discussing the big, scary topics like your future together.
You can't expect him to be planning out your wedding and your child's names after a month of dating, but you can tell when someone is being true in their intentions.
He Wants You To Have Your Own Life
He's made it clear that he wants to be a part of your life, but he also knows that he's not the sole thing in your world.
He encourages you to go out on a Saturday night with your girlfriends without making a huge fuss or making you feel bad for supposedly never wanting to spend time with him.
He Has Female Friends (Who Aren't Exes)
A man who has female friends (who aren't just women he used to date or FWB situations) is a man who is probably a good person.
If other women like him enough to be his friend and genuinely want to spend time with him, that's a great sign.
