How To Tell If You’re Bad At Being In A Relationship
If someone tells you that they're "not the relationship type," our first response is often to debate that or to feel like we can change that because love conquers all, right?
The problem is, there really are people who aren't good at being in relationships, and who aren't going to be a good partner.
As much as you might like to blame your failed relationships on others, it's also possible that you're the one who is a bad partner, but you can't fix it unless you know...
You Don't Speak Up When Something Is Bothering You
Rather than speaking up and talking about whatever it is that's bothering you, you say nothing and slowly get more annoyed, creating an awkward dynamic that your partner will definitely pick up on eventually.
You Hold Him To A Different Standard
You're supposed to be equals in your relationship, and part of that means that you're held to the same standard. If you expect your partner to behave a certain way when he's out with his friends or do certain things for you, he can ask that of you too.
You Don't Respect Their Privacy
Just because you're in a relationship with someone does not mean that you're entitled to look at their phone or know every detail of their private life. If you don't trust your partner, that's an issue you have to address.
You Have Him Pay For Everything
Every relationship dynamic is different, and some men like to pay for everything for their girlfriends, but you shouldn't expect that every single meal you eat or date you go on will be paid for. At least make the effort to offer to pay.
You Know You're Not Interested Anymore, But Don't Want To Be Alone
Don't be the person who strings someone along in a relationship even though you know you're no longer interested just because you don't want to have to deal with being single.
You Want To Spend All Your Time With Your Partner
It's not healthy for your partner to be the only person in your life that you lean on for support. It's good for you to both have hobbies and friends outside of just spending time with each other.
You Act Like You're Single When You're Not With Them
If you're not with your partner, no one would know that you're in a relationship. You don't need to start every interaction with "Hi, nice to meet you, I have a boyfriend FYI," but you shouldn't be behaving like you're single or disregarding your partner if he's not there.
You Make All Of The Decisions In The Relationship
You choose everything from where you go for dinner to whose house you're spending Thanksgiving at and what outfits are acceptable to wear on those days. You need to learn to relinquish control and trust your partner.
You Pick Fights When You're Bored
If you're craving a little drama in your day, go turn on Bravo and watch some Real Housewives. Don't pick a fight with your boyfriend because you're in a bad mood or you want to see how they'll react.
You're Waiting For Them To Change
No matter how many times you're told that you shouldn't be trying to change your partner or waiting around for them to become someone different, people still do it. Stop wasting your time—and your partner's—wishing they were something they're not.
You Never Try To See The Positives In A Situation
Sorry, but no one wants to spend all their time around someone who can only see the negatives in a situation. If you're always the glass-half-empty person, it can be difficult for those around you to manage.
You Refuse To Spend Time With Their Friends Or Family
You may love your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that you're going to love all of his friends and family. Despite that, though, there are times where you're just going to have to suck it up. He spends time with your friends, you spend time with his.
Your Problems Are Always Top Priority
Regardless of whatever your partner is going through, your problems are your focus, and you expect that they drop what they're doing to help you. Remember that you need to support your partner too.
The Threat Of Breaking Up Is Used Frequently
The status of your relationship shouldn't be something that you use as a threat every time you get into an argument with your partner. Your fights should never be "if you don't do this, I'm going to break up with you." At that point, you should just do it, don't make it an ultimatum.
It Really Is Your Way Or The Highway
Compromise is an important part of being in a relationship, unless someone is in a relationship with you. In that case, they're the one who is always compromising, and you always come out on top.
You Can't Handle Any Sort Of Criticism
In life in general, you have to be able to take criticism. You have to be able to recognize the difference between someone attacking you and someone who is trying to help you.
You're Not There For Your Partner Emotionally
Do you brush off your partner's emotions when they try to tell you how they're feeling, or invalidate their feelings if you disagree with their reaction to you or to a certain situation?
You Speak Badly About His Family
Even if he speaks badly about his family, it's different when he does it versus when you do it. He's allowed to complain about his family, but it's best to avoid joining in too enthusiastically.
You Complain To Your Friends About Wanting To Be Single
Your friends might not say it to you, but they're definitely thinking it: if you want to be single that badly, there's an easy solution to your problem. Don't be the friend who is constantly complaining about how much they don't want to be in a relationship, but still stays in one.
Your Word Means Nothing
If you commit to spending time with your partner or helping them out with something, but then a better offer comes along, you bail without a second thought and leave them to fend for themselves.
