What To Know As An Introvert Who’s Dating An Extrovert
There are a number of clear differences between people who identify as introverts versus people who identify as extroverts. If opposites really do attract, though, it should be possible for an introvert to successfully date an extrovert without feeling overwhelmed by their need for social activity, right?
If you're an introvert who is currently dating an extrovert (or you're trying to talk yourself into it), there are a few things that are good to know.
Their Desire To Socialize Doesn't Mean They Don't Want To Spend Time With You
Their need or desire to spend time with all their other friends doesn't take away from their interest in you. As long as they're good with splitting their time, it shouldn't be a problem to receive the attention you need.
Make Sure You Say "Yes" To Things Too
You might be perfectly happy to stay in by yourself and let your boyfriend go to that party without you, but you should also make an effort to say yes some of the time. They invite you because they genuinely want you there.
Take Initiative When Planning Dates
A great way to feel balanced in your relationship with an extrovert is to take control of some situations like planning dates. Put in the effort and plan something to show your partner that you care, while still getting to pick the activities you're comfortable with.
You'll Never Run Out Of Things To Talk About
You're never going to have to worry about awkward silences on dates or trying to come up with something interesting to talk about—your extroverted other half is going to have that covered for you!
Be Aware Of Your Own Triggers
If you know that spending too much time in a crowd makes you anxious or uncomfortable, tell your partner about that before it gets to the point where you're overwhelmed and taking your feelings out on them.
Communication Is The Most Important Thing
Surprise, surprise, we've got yet another dating article telling you that communicating will make your relationships stronger. It's almost like maybe it's actually the truth! Communicating is important in any relationship, but especially when you're dating someone who processes things differently than you do.
Remember That They Process Things Differently Than You
Your extroverted partner might interpret silence from you as a lack of interest or you being upset about something when, really, you're just enjoying the quiet time. You, as an introvert, might feel like your partner who wants to go out every night with their friends doesn't understand the importance of quality time. You have to share those feelings with each other.
Understand The Importance Of Re-Energizing
Extroverts are often people who would say that spending time around their friends re-energizes them, whereas introverts are often people who are excited to leave a social event once they've had their fill of interaction. You have to still take time to re-energize in the way that works for you, even if it's different from your partner.
Extroverts Need Alone Time Too
You might think that extroverts are people who want to be with other people at all hours of the day, but everybody needs some alone time every once in a while.
Work Out Compromises
There are compromises in any relationship, including one between an introvert and an extrovert. Even a small compromise like taking two cars to a social event so one of you can leave when you want could be beneficial.
Tell Them If You're Feeling Overwhelmed
As part of that whole communication thing we keep preaching, tell your girlfriend if you're feeling overwhelmed in a social setting. Communicate your feelings, so they can help you work through them or adjust the situation to fit what you need at that moment.
Let Them Do The Talking For You
Not only are they always happy to supply the topic for you two to talk about, but it's great to have them around in social settings. They're more than happy to be the one to handle all the small talk as you just smile and nod by their side.
You're Always Going To Know How They Feel
Extroverted people are often the kind of people who vocalize how they're feeling or don't make an effort to hide their emotions, which can be both a positive and a negative.
They Have Other People To Entertain Them
If you need to take a couple of hours to yourself after you're done work and not answer your phone or speak to anyone, you don't need to worry about your boyfriend feeling neglected. You know he has at least five other people who can entertain him for the time being.
There's Always The Risk That They're Going To Overextend Themselves
As the introvert in the relationship, something you might find yourself doing is grounding your partner. There are a lot of adventures they want to take, activities they join, and parties they commit to going to, but then they find they're spread too thin. That's where you can come in to help them relax.
It'll Be Easy To Get To Know Them
Your extroverted partner is probably a bit of an oversharer at the best of times, right? They're happy to share every detail of their day with someone they just met, and they'll share even more with you.
The Challenge Is Opening Up To Them
The biggest challenge as the introvert in the relationship is pushing yourself to open up to your partner just as they've done for you. It doesn't have to be immediate, but you have to make the effort.
Remind Yourself They're Not Being Flirty With Everyone
This can be a very tough one to remember when you're dating an extrovert, so say it with us: they're not flirting, they're being friendly. The only time you talk that much to someone is if you're interested in dating them, but that's not the case for everyone.
You Can Expect Plans To Grow Exponentially
"The more the merrier" approach is usually the approach of the extrovert. You thought the two of you were going to dinner with another couple, but suddenly three other couples are tagging along too. That "small gathering" you're going to next weekend? You can expect at least 20 people.
Their Spontaneity Can Be A Lot
You might be someone who spends your time thinking everything out before you ever vocalize it, or planning every aspect of an outing, but you also have to be prepared for the spontaneity of your partner. Hopefully, you can balance each other out.
