Is There An Unspoken Rule About Not Liking Other People’s Pictures When You’re In A Relationship?
Social media is great, but it can also pose a lot of issues for a relationship. If your boo is liking lots of pics on Instagram of attractive models, some people find that a huge red flag. Others don't care as much—it all depends on your preferences when it comes to social media.
So, is there an unspoken rule about avoiding liking too many Instagram pics of the opposite sex? Or does it just not matter at all?
Social Media And Relationships
When it comes to relationships, social media can be both amazing and a total downer.
Social media allows you to post adorable pics of yourself and your new boyfriend or girlfriend, showing off your happiness to all of your followers. On the downside, you may notice when your partner double-taps a questionable picture.
Where Is The Line Here?
It's up to you how to dictate what you feel comfortable with in your relationship. But if you're uncomfortable with your partner liking other people’s photos or posts on Instagram, you’re not alone.
Do you have a right to get upset if they are liking other people's pictures while in a relationship with you?
The Douple Tap
If you're scrolling on Instagram or Facebook and notice that your partner has given a double-tap on an attractive person's photo (such as an IG model or an old friend), it can be hard to know how you're supposed to feel.
It can make you confused or jealous, especially if the person is attractive. This issue is complicated, and it's okay to not know how to feel at first.
You Have To Decide What You Are Okay With
My general opinion on the topic is as follows: If he's liking a friend from college's selfie, fine, go for it. But if he's liking hot pics of Instagram models every time he's on social media, that's kinda a turn-off for me.
Overall, you have the right to decide what you are okay with. Some people are unbothered if their partner likes other people's photos—other people aren't. If you are upset about it though, that's not to say you should lash out at them right away about it because that can come across as really controlling.
Don't Make Assumptions
Before you start making tons of assumptions about why they're liking these photos, it’s important to have a conversation with your partner and talk about it. Rather than getting angry or jealous right away, have a calm and collected conversation about it.
Them scrolling through their IG feed and double-tapping could easily be a meaningless, mindless gesture. But who knows? It could also mean something more. You won't know the truth unless you talk about it with them, so don't just assume he's into other girls right away.
Talk To Them
Overall, if you feel annoyed or upset about your partner's social media activity, communicate that to them, and confront the issue head-on.
This way, you give them the chance to explain themselves and their actions while also having a chat about what you both are comfortable with when it comes to social media.
Let's See What The Internet Has To Say
One Reddit user asked in r/relationship_advice if it bothers people when their SO likes other people's pics on social media.
The user explains in the post that both she and her boyfriend are 29 years old. She claims that they have fought about this issue around three times in nine months.
She Doesn't Like How He Likes So Many Pics Of Other Women
OP (original poster) explains that "it bothers me he feels the need to like women's photos on IG. Watch porn? Whatever, fine, sometimes we even watch it together. IG? Sure, follow models, whatever."
"But the need to like the pictures, especially of women you know I follow too, and multiple pictures in a row of the same girl? Ok, no, that bothers me."
She Feels Disrespected By It
The OP explains that she brought it up to him again (good on her for talking about it). The boyfriend said he understands, then got quickly defensive and called her petty and insecure.
She explains that she isn't insecure and that she's not petty for not liking her partner openly "liking" other girls' photos days in a row. She writes that she just feels disrespected when it happens, so she told him that. She ends off the post by claiming that the two "are at an impasse and that she would never tell someone what to do/not do on social media." But that she has expressed it bugs her, and he continues to do it, thus making her feel disrespected.
Some Shared Their Own Opinions And Experiences
This user explains that when partners actively like hot people's photos, it can lead to you feeling insecure. She claims that she believes that it is different than if your partner watches porn.
Some people are totally fine with their partner liking whatever pics on Instagram that they want, and that's okay.
"It's Just A Picture"
At the end of the day, lots of people believe that likes are just an icon, that's it. This user claims that they just mindlessly like things to help their friends out, and it doesn't have a deeper meaning.
Whereas some people attach more of a meaning to a like or heart on social media, it's just a number.
The OP Just Wanted To Stop Seeing His "Likes" All Over Her Page
In the post, the OP pointed out that she would rather him just follow the accounts and not like anything when he knows she follows the person too.
Even though this could be perceived as controlling, this user points out that it's fair to not want to have all the women that your partner finds hot thrown in your face.
Some Are Not Threatened By It Whatsoever
Clearly, there are many people out there who simply aren't threatened by likes on social media.
This user makes a good point by explaining that you can't just keep your eyes closed all the time and pretend that nobody out there is attractive but the person you're dating.
You Have To Decide If It's A Dealbreaker
So, one user basically sums everything up in a nutshell. If he won't stop liking the pictures, she has to decide if it's a dealbreaker for her or not.
In the post, she seems like she just can't get past his decision to like these pictures of other hot women. Which is fine, but that means that she may have to date someone else with similar values. The original poster responded to this lengthy comment and claimed: "PERFECT advice, that last line is what I didn't know I needed to hear. Yes. Thank you. I will reflect on this as I do not want to build resentment."
So, Is There An Unspoken Rule About It?
Overall, there may be an unspoken rule about trying to avoid liking sexy pics in a relationship, because it actually bothers a lot of people. That being said, it also just depends on who you're dating. Because even though lots of people really don't like it, there are arguably an equal amount of people out there who don't care about it.
And clearly, social media has the potential to make people feel jealous and insecure, but we knew this already.
In Conclusion...
To sum it up: If you don't like how they're "liking" too many pictures of attractive people, talk about it, and if the behavior continues, evaluate whether or not this is a dealbreaker for you.
And hey, if they're liking Instagram photos of hot people, why don't you just do the same?
