The Real Reason People Cheat More Than Once In Their Relationships
If you have heard the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" you have probably wondered whether there is any truth to it.
Some people have become serial cheaters over the course of their relationships and there could be a handful of reasons why.
It Becomes Easier To Lie Over Time
The longer that a person continues to fabricate lies or lie about something in particular, the easier it becomes for them to do it in the future.
Our brains actually become a bit desensitized to the deception and it becomes easier and easier to lie, but don't take our word for it.
Our Brains Adapt To Dishonesty
A study completed and published by Nature Neuroscience in 2016 found that our brains "adapt to dishonesty."
Meaning that the more a person lies, the less remorseful they will feel about it.
Cheating Becomes Less Emotionally Draining Over Time
Someone who cheats on their partner for the very first time will feel much more guilty and remorseful than they would the tenth time they cheated.
Considering this, it might be more accurate if we start saying "twice a cheater, always a cheater."
They Have No Emotional Investment In The Relationship
If someone has the ability to repeatedly cheat it's because they are no longer feeling that emotional toll that comes with infidelity.
In a way, they have trained themselves not to have emotional investment in their relationships.
Cheating Turns Them On / It Becomes A Game To Them
Some people find the risk and taboo act of cheating to be a turn on that they can't find elsewhere.
There is no amount of love or commitment that can keep them from chasing a "cheater's high" and being unfaithful.
They Are Extremely Insecure (Even If They Act Confident)
Insecurity can cause people to do some questionable things in relationships. Some people will never feel safe unless they have a backup option in a relationship.
These people always keep more than one possible hook-up on retainer as a way to prevent being left single.
Some Cheaters Act From A Fear Of Abandonment
Cheating with an ex-partner or old fling usually doesn't happen because the cheater is super comfortable with lying or getting a thrill from dishonesty.
It often comes from a place of deep-rooted insecurity and wanting to make sure they have a sort of safety net in place.
They Have Never Been Caught
If someone has never faced the consequences of lying and bad behavior, they will develop a sense of invincibility.
Since they have gotten away with things so far, they start to feel comfortable that they will never be found out.
They Convince Themselves "What They Don't Know Can't Hurt Them"
Since they are confident in their lying abilities, they don't have a reason to stop.
Some people even justify their behavior by convincing themselves that what people don't know can't hurt them. This philosophy makes it easier for them to keep going.
They Are A Narcissist
Narcissists will wreak havoc on all areas of a relationship, but a major manifestation of their worst qualities is cheating.
These people have an unrealistic understanding of their own importance and a "me first" attitude at all times.
Their Personality Traits Make It Easier To Cheat
People with narcissistic qualities have a lack of empathy and a seemingly insatiable desire for admiration. They feel entitled to their wants regardless of how it makes other people feel.
All of these personality traits make infidelity easier and it starts to become a habit.
They Stay In Relationships For Way Too Long
People with a history of avoiding confrontation may stay in bad relationships way longer than necessary, simply to avoid the inconvenience of breaking up.
They will start to move on in every way other than actually breaking up with their partner and it usually ends in heartbreak for the person who is still invested.
People In Stale Relationships Will Use It As An Excuse To Cheat
It could be born out of cowardice or flat out disrespect, but stale relationships are one of the most common reasons that people cheat more than once.
They start to feel trapped and instead of communicating about it they sabotage the relationship.
They Deal Out Extreme Highs And Lows
People who cheat often will deal in extremes.
This means that they are either showering their partner with love and affection to keep them invested, or completely freezing them out and struggling to put any effort into their relationship at all.
They Have A Lack Of Respect For You And The Relationship
An utter lack of respect for the relationship is an easy tell that a person is going to risk cheating again.
If you think that your partner could cheat on you again, ask yourself whether you feel respected by them in general.
Ask Yourself These Questions
Are they there for you when you need them? Do you feel secure in your relationship? Do they make an effort for you?
If the answers are no, it's more likely that they have the ability to be serially unfaithful to you.
They Have An Overall Fear Of Commitment
Serial cheaters have a made up allergy to commitment. They may have been avoiding long-term commitment for so long that they can't help but feel overwhelmed when their relationship starts to get stronger.
As a result, they turn to self-sabotage and lash out by cheating, not caring that it will hurt their partner more.
They Are Trying To Avoid Getting Hurt Themselves
A serial cheater may just be a coward when it comes to love. They are afraid of getting hurt themselves and so they choose to always be the "bad guy" so to speak.
They always take the first punch so that they can't be caught off guard.
You Can Only Give A Person So Many Chances
It's a challenging behavior to address because it's usually connected to deep-rooted insecurities.
After a certain point, you have to realize that you can't change someone's destructive patterns and you have to put yourself first.
Put Yourself First
The actual cause of a person's infidelity can be traced back to any number of instances "where things went wrong".
The truth is, cheating is a complicated issue until it isn't. The moment it becomes damaging to you as a person, it's time to leave.
