Relatable Tweets About What It’s Like To Be Attracted To Men
Ever felt like you absolutely could not stand the guy that you had a crush on, but also you really really really really liked him? Have you ever been afraid to tell your friends that you're seeing a guy because you just know how hard they will disapprove of him?
As a girl who has dated way too many guys who were objectively horrible people (and borderline unsanitary), I often find myself questioning how I could possibly be attracted to these dopey creatures who have never used an iron. Here are some tragically relatable tweets about what it's like to be a woman who is into men.
How Are Men This Clueless?
Finding a man that has anything even resembling a skincare routine is like finding a unicorn in the wild, but I always thought they at least understood the basics of moisturizer. Apparently not.
Ah, Yes: The Good Old College Days
I hate how much I relate to this. Once upon a time, I really was into the frat guy whose coffee table was always littered with empty cans and was sticky from weeks of uncleaned beer spills.
You Want To Do Cute Fall Things, But You Also Want To Kill Him
What's the point of having a boyfriend in the fall if you're not going to go on adorable autumn dates? We're going, even if I'm mad at you and your stupid brain.
Same, Britney. Same.
I want to get "addicted to getting my feelings hurt by men" tattooed on my forehead so that I don't even need to wear the party makeup for people to know I'm a clown.
Attractiveness > Literacy
Almost all of us have seen, or have had a friend who was seeing, a guy who was unbearably stupid but he was so good looking that we pretended we didn't notice.
He's Trash, I Know
Yeah, we get it. He's not a good guy, but he stole all of my good sense away when he gave me a forehead kiss and now I think we have to get married.
Take A Look At R/Relationships: It's Wild
This may be a joke, but it's actually not too much of an exaggeration. Forgiveness and the ability to overlook someone's flaws is one thing, but there has to be a limit, ladies.
I Love Having My Feelings Get Stepped On
The worst part is that, realistically, I will let the guy who hurt my feelings probably hurt them again because I believe in second chances, or third chances, or seventeenth chances.
Chads and Brads Have A Little Something Going On, Okay?
I wish this wasn't the case, but, for some inexplicable reason, I consistently find myself liking guys who own Saturdays Are For The Boys flags and use 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash.
Everyone Raises Their Hands
I don't even like my taste in men, so imagine how hard it is for me to explain to my friends why I'm attracted to the guy who doesn't know how to do laundry!
We All Know A Matt
There was a Matt I had a crush on in the eighth grade who I let copy my homework everyday, and since then it's just been a long stream of Matt's who have been no good.
We All Know A Girl Who Needs This
I actually can't count the times I've been confused by the fact my beautiful, interesting, kind friend is dating a guy with the personality of a potato who treats her horribly. WHY?
Heterosexuality Is A Curse
You know that this girl was just there, turning her head to look into a non-existent camera as if she was on an episode of The Office. Yikes, girl: we feel you.
Looking For The Whole Package
I really thought that there was going to be a message of hope for those of us looking for the perfect man, but the ending really came to slap me in the face. I should've known.
A Full Time Job With Limited Benefits
Have you ever dated a guy and simultaneous had to teach him how to dress, cook, develop emotional intelligence, have decent pillows, and decorate his home, only for it to go nowhere?
Even Celebrities Are Plagued
Ariana Grande spoke to millions of girls with "Thank U, Next", as we realized that she too had been attracted to a guy who wasn't good for her long-term, and was just 6' 2".
Not A Woman, But Points Are Raised
Ladies, think about it: if you really had a choice between dating guys, many of whom are sexist, and women, it would be an easy decision. Unfortunately, I like Brads who don't own deodorant.
A Fun Guessing Game
First dates with men are my designated time to sift through potential red flags. Does he believe in the wage gap? Will he murder me if we get married? Time to suss it out.
Just All Around Questionable Hygiene Habits
I once dated a guy who used his roommate's "hand sanitizer" instead of washing his hands regularly for two months only to realize it was actually aloe vera gel that his roommate kept in the bathroom 
.
It's So Unfair Out Here
I can objectively say that I've been hotter than at least 80% of the guys I've been in romantic situations with and they have the audacity to treat me like I'm the ugly one all the time.
The Book Of Isaiah Is Untouchable For Me
There are at least eight distinct books of the Bible named after men who have done me wrong and at least five others that are ruined because I dated a guy named after the main figure in it.
Liking Men Makes Me A Soft, Weird Loser
On a regular basis, I'm a cool, strong, independent person who thinks with logic above anything else. But the second I catch a smidgen of feelings for a man, I'm like this.
"No, Let's Actually Go To My Place"
Men will have the audacity to invite you over to their apartment and it looks like this. Only one chair, no throw blankets, and a mattress on the floor and I'll still be attracted to them. Pain.
My Hormones Are On Some Dumb Energy
It's truly upsetting how many extremely hot men I've met but just felt nothing for and instead been attracted to a guy who thinks playing the guitar counts as a personality.
The Bar Is On The Floor
I've seen so many horrible things from men that I sometimes believe that nothing they do could surprise me or that I've already seen the lowest of the low, but they always find a way to get worse.
It's So Embarrassing
One of the worst parts about being attracted to men is that, when you try to explain why you were so into him, your friends just look at you like you are insane because they all saw him for the trash he was.
Why Does My Brain Do This To Me?
Every once in a while, I'll meet a man who actually seems pretty kind and normal, but my body will only be attracted to the borderline illiterate idiot who messages me at 1 a.m.
It's Called Having A Type And It's Tragic
As much as so many of us women love to deny it, we often have a "type" of guy we're attracted to and the type of often "men who are going to disappoint us."
I Only Want A Single Witness
How am I someday supposed to have a wedding and publicly, in front of my family and friends, express that I am head over heels in love with a man who didn't know how to do laundry until I met him? I can't—eloping it is.
She Raises Some Points
I really have a lot of audacity saying that I won't eat certain foods because they're gross when I repeatedly used to hook up with a guy who didn't wash his sheets for over six months.
Several Months? Sweetie, No
First of all, who in this day and age still has a CD player as an actual way to listen to music? Second of all, why the Shrek 2 soundtrack? Thirdly, girl, that was the reddest flag and you stayed?
Being Attracted To Men Is A Nightmare
How is it that, even when a man is doing the work to actually improve himself, he still manages to be so disappointing to the women in his romantic life?
Call Me The NASDAQ
How do you get a guy to actually pay attention to you, notice the ways in which you are changing, and really invest in you? Obviously, just become the stock market.
This Is Why Men Die Younger
How does a guy reach his late 20s and still have no idea what bedsheets are supposed to look like? Has he never washed sheets before? I am so horrified.
You've Lost The Right To Pictures
Here's the thing: if you are ever privileged enough to receive a nude photo from a woman—if you were graced with her image—and you respond in any way that doesn't express gratitude, you belong in jail.
Can't Argue With Science!
There is something deeply unnerving about men who ask for your Snapchat or Instagram handles without first asking for your number. I just know they'll be in my DMs with a gross message one day.
Seriously, This Is How It Goes
I wish that I could say I stalk absolute hotties on the 'gram, but in reality, I spend hours of my life looking at guys who my friends would roast in the group chat.
Only The Priest And A Single Witness
The whole concept of a wedding is so embarrassing to me? I cannot imagine having to profess my love for a man in front of the people I love and respect. Nope—Vegas it is.
It's The Fear Of Death For Me
There's nothing like trying to set up a date with a guy who seems cool only for him to be weirdly insistent you meet at his house. I will not be the subject of a Lifetime documentary!!!
In Summary:
This is an unfortunate fact for me. Maybe one day I'll have a crush on a wholesome, interesting, emotionally-stable good guy, but today is not that day. Time to do my clown makeup and listen to SZA.
