Relationship Advice Asks That Will Make You Glad You’re Single
Relationships are difficult by nature, and sometimes it's hard to know how to address a problem with your significant other. On Reddit, there's a thread that allows for users to ask for advice on pressing issues in their romantic life from others on the site.
While many of the questions people have about their relationships are pretty common, some asks are hilariously, but horrifyingly, unique. Here are advice requests that will make you question if dating is worth it.
"My Girlfriend's Refusal To Give Up Spicy Food Is Affecting Our Sex and Social Life..."
This user explains that the acid reflux and digestive discomfort that his girlfriend feels after eating spicy food makes her gassy (from both ends) and also too upset for "bedroom activities", but she will not eat any food that isn't spicy.
It sounds like he's in a real pickle(d jar of peppers).
"My Boyfriend Opened A Credit Card In My Name To Pay A Debt To His Ex..."
This 26-year-old woman's boyfriend had previously bought a car with an old girlfriend, though he stopped making payments on it after they had broken up. When the ex threatened to take him to court, he took a credit card out in his new girlfriend's name and gave his ex the $2,000 he owed her in a cash forward.
The new girlfriend now owes $3,500 on the card (because he spent more money on it), and she wants to know if she can ever trust him again. Girl, run.
"My Husband's Obsession With Building Rafts Is Becoming A Detriment To Our Family Life..."
This couple has been married for 15 years, but a few months ago the husband had started to obsessively build rafts in his spare time—yes, we're talking Huckleberry Finn-style log rafts for water.
Now, apart from his time at work, he spends every minute researching, building, and testing rafts using their six-year-old son as a weighted passenger, and she just wants to talk to him about it. You really think you know someone after 15 years of marriage...
"My Fiancé Has A Blood Type That Is Impossible Based On His Parents, And I'm The Only One Who Knows..."
When the fiancé of this 25-year-old with a college degree in genetics was going to get tested to find out his blood type, she thought it would be fun to try and guess based on his parents. After getting both of them to send their blood type information, she came up with a few possibilities. However, the fiancé's result wasn't even a viable option.
Now she is the only one who knows that he's either adopted or the child of an affair, and wants to know what she should do. Talk about messy.
"I Laughed At My Girlfriend's Use Of Microsoft Powerpoint During Sex..."
This pair of 21-year-olds have been dating long-distance, and therefore use technology (*wink wink*) to help bridge the physical gap. When they finally got to meet together in person and were getting intimate, the girlfriend told the boyfriend she had a surprise: it was a 50 slide powerpoint presentation of *explicit* photos of her.
The boyfriend, however, burst out laughing by accident because she added transition animations (like stars bursting into the next photo) into the powerpoint. She's embarrassed and upset now, and he wants to know how to fix it. I personally cannot blame him, because I am cackling at this.
"My Fiancé Wants His Father To Check My Hymen The Night Before Our Wedding..."
Both this 22-year-old woman and her 23-year-old fiancé are virgins, and they both decided to wait until marriage to have sex. He informed her earlier in their relationship that it's a family tradition for the father to "check the virginity" of the bride the night prior to the wedding.
While she initially laughed it off, it turns out that he was actually serious even though she thinks that is horrifically invasive. Now, it's two days until the wedding and she has no idea what to do. We might have a runaway bride, folks.
"My Girlfriend Started Using An Adult Pacifier And Generally Becoming More Childlike..."
This 29-year-old guy's 28-year-old girlfriend has suddenly started acting like a small child. It started with her wanting him to read stories to her at night, but has progressed to her using an adult pacifier and only watch television shows geared toward preschoolers.
In her regular life, she's a professional attorney at a corporate firm. When he's tried to approach her about it, she acts oblivious, and he wants to know what to do next. I mean, I've joked that "I'm Baby", but not quite like this.
"My Wife Is Convinced That She Is Pregnant Even Though Every Pregnancy Test Comes Back Negative..."
Even though this 42-year-old man's wife has had multiple store-bought pregnancy tests and medical examinations confirm that she is not pregnant, she is adamant that the tests are wrong. Her denial has driven her to believe that she's currently carrying twins, and has been buying baby clothes and decorations while asking her husband to prepare the nursery.
His inaction has sprouted her to believe that he is trying to abandon her and "their twins", and he doesn't know what to do. I guess this un-expecting father has some unexpected problems to manage.
"My Boyfriend's Incredibly Specific Kink Is Weirder Than It Initially Seemed..."
This 21-year-old woman has been with her 26-year-old boyfriend for four years, and for the past few months, they've been dabbling in role play. However, he has a very specific fantasy that involves her pretending to be a mean, domineering sea captain of a small Irish fishing vessel while he is a clumsy and incompetent deckhand (and yes, the whole fantasy takes place at sea).
However, upon getting to know his parents, she realized that this is a weird version of a true-life situation his parents were once in and it was actually how he was conceived. Now she doesn't think she can ever be intimate with him again.
"My Husband Has Become Obsessed With Taking Over His Father's Business After Watching HBO's Succession..."
This 29-year-old woman and her 31-year-old husband binge-watched a bunch of episodes of Succession. Her husband, who already has a full-time job, has become intent on taking over his father's Halloween store: he's been looking for reasons why his 56-year-old father is unfit to run it, and why he should help manage it (in steps similar to the show alongside other behaviors sparked by Succession).
He now thinks that they should move 200 miles to live closer to the store. How can she tell him his obsession with the show is insane?
"My Husband Wants To Start A "Restaurant For Magicians" And It Is Tearing Our Family Apart..."
This 32-year-old's 36-year-old husband, who works in the restaurant industry, wants to start a restaurant that is littered with magical props (e.g. levitating tables). The concept is for men on dates to be able to impress women with spontaneous magic tricks that require no skill. He only showed interest in magic a few months ago upon meeting a "magic enthusiast".
He plans to put all of their savings into this idea, and she wants to know how to tell him it's a horrible business plan. My question is: how could he not realize how dumb this is?
"How Can I Gently Explain To My Boyfriend That He Isn't Wiping Himself Properly?"
This 24-year-old woman has been dating her 29-year-old boyfriend for a few months, and she's been noticing that he leaves skid-marks in her bed during sleepovers. She goes further to explain—and I shudder to type this—that sometimes they aren't fully dry. It's happened a couple of times, and she's even seen it right where he'd just been sitting.
I'm going to throw up. Dump him, sis.
"My Boyfriend Won't Stop Looking Through Reddit, Even When We're Kissing..."
This 22-year-old woman explains that her boyfriend of three years has always had problems with spending too much time on screen, but now he looks over her shoulder at his phone during hugs and make-out sessions, and she's afraid she's never going to mean more to him than a screen and wants to know if it's even worth bringing it up to him.
And, no, the irony of posting this on Reddit is not lost on her.
"My Boyfriend Got Angry When I Asked If I Could Put A Face Mask On Him..."
This 25-year-old woman was doing a face mask in bed while lying next to her boyfriend, so she asked if she could put some on him too thinking that it would be fun. He immediately got really angry and said that it was extremely emasculating, leading her to apologize.
However, he's been angry with her since and she's upset by how aggressively he reacted. She wants to know if she's being too sensitive, but I want to know why her boyfriend is such a little baby.
"My Boyfriend Has Decided to Learn My Native Language And Thinks He's Better Than Me..."
This 23-year-old woman moved to the UK when she was a teen, but kept up her native language. Her 28-year-old boyfriend started to learn it about three months ago, and has a beginner's grasp of speaking it. However, he thinks her knowledge of her language has deteriorated in her time away from home, and tries to correct her pronunciation as well as her parents'.
She wants to know how to address it, because her whole family is starting to hate him. I can't believe he thought he could mansplain her own first-language to her...
"My Boyfriend Gets Upset When I Don't 'Give Him My Yawns'..."
This 25-year-old woman has been with her 22-year-old boyfriend for almost a year, but a couple of months ago he started to put his mouth over hers when she yawns and try to inhale it: a process he calls her "giving him her yawns".
She initially thought it was a silly joke, but now he genuinely gets angry and upset when she doesn't want to "give him her yawns" and she has no idea what to do. Honestly, how does one even approach this?
"How Do I Put My Arm Around My Girlfriend If I Have Really Short Arms?"
This 19-year-old guy just got into a new relationship with an 18-year-old girl, and has been trying to be smooth with cuddling. When she leans his head on his shoulder, he wants to wrap his arm around her, but is physically incapable due to the length of his arms.
In this wholesome ask, he just wants to know if it would make better logistic sense to try and hold her waist or leave his arm down. I hope he figured it out.
"My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Going To The Bathroom To Avoid Him..."
This 19-year-old girl explains that she is severely lactose intolerant and has digestion problems with spicy food, and therefore she has to go to the washroom a fair amount. With college exam stress and a few minor relationship problems going on, her and her boyfriend have been fighting a little bit.
He now thinks that, due to the frequency of her bathroom excursions, she's actually only going to the bathroom to avoid him, and want to know what to do. A situation that stinks for her, I guess.
"My Boyfriend Gets Jealous Of The Attention I Give My Cat..."
This 25-year-old lives with her sister, and they own a cat together. However, her 37-year-old boyfriend gets jealous when she has to go home to feed the cat, saying she "never makes sure that he is fed". She further explains that she does cook for her boyfriend on a regular basis, and she finds that he guilts her when she doesn't.
She wants to know why he's acting like this, whereas I want to know: why a grown human man wants to be treated with the same care as a cat?
"My Boyfriend Wouldn't Pay For My Meal When I Forgot My Wallet..."
This 20-year-old woman and her 21-year-old boyfriend tend to split the bill on dates, which never has bothered her in the past. When they went to eat at a buy then eat (basically, like Chipotle) restaurant, he ordered first. She went to pay for her order, only to realize she'd left her wallet at home. When she told her boyfriend, he just sat down, started to eat, and said, "Oh, that sucks."
He didn't even budge when she offered to pay him back. The stranger in line behind her offered to pay. She wants to know how to address it, and I have the answer: DUMP HIM.
