Reminders That You Made The Right Decision Leaving Your Ex
Congratulations, you finally left a relationship you know wasn't good for you. Except now, part of you misses them and part of you regrets it, so you're questioning if you even made the right decision.
The good news is you definitely did; here's why.
Nothing You Did Was Ever Good Enough For Them
You were constantly trying to put in the effort to "save" the relationship and "prove" your love while they basically checked out or continued arguing.
Now the only person you need to worry about pleasing is yourself.
The Guilt You Feel Is Normal
It's okay to feel guilty for walking away from someone that you loved. There will be days you might even regret it.
Don't confuse the person they once seemed to be (and who you miss) with the person they turned out to be in the end.
You Know You Had Nothing Left To Give
You know you did the right thing if, looking back at the history of your relationship, separating was your last and only option.
You gave them every part of yourself, the best and the worst, and you still didn't know what they or the relationship needed to change the dynamic.
You Were Losing Yourself
You were giving so much energy, time, and effort to survive the relationship and were just hoping or waiting for something to change that you began to compromise your own happiness.
You no longer practiced your hobbies, and you bailed out on seeing your friends, all so you could cry on the couch.
You Felt Some Sense Of Relief After The Breakup
Part of you felt peace once you finally went through with it. It was the moment you finally accepted that you can't be in a relationship with someone's potential.
It really comes down to asking yourself if, at that moment, you feel loved. That person need to make you feel good and respected, and if not, then you can't live in the hope that one day it'll get better.
You Kept Trying To Make Excuses For Them
They apologized the first time, they weren't feeling like themselves the second time, and they didn't mean it the third time... Eventually, you can't keep overlooking their failures and making excuses for them.
They have to be held accountable and respect you enough not to wrong you. If they can't, they're not worthy of you.
You Miss Having Someone, Not Them
It takes time to break habits. You got used to sleeping beside someone, constantly texting good-morning and goodnight, etc. Those habits can be recreated with anybody. Even the person-specific things you miss, you'll readapt in your new routine to better suit you.
You're Scared About The Future But You're No Longer Trapped
If you had imagined your whole future with that person, it might be really scary to imagine your life without them now.
The thing is, it's better to have a blank slate full of possibilities for you to discover than to have a planned future that you would one day regret and feel stuck within.
You Always Envied Other Couples
First off, everyone seems happier on social media than they really are. Yet, if you were constantly watching other couples, wishing you and your partner could measure up or that they would treat you similarly, then chances are you didn't think your relationship was that great.
You Stopped Living In The Present
You were either caught up in the memories of the past and the old version of who you once were, or you were living for a better future, impatiently waiting for the day that it would come.
Both seemed better than the present unhappy moment you were finding yourself in.
The Small Arguments Were Becoming Big Fights
You were fighting over who has to take the trash out like it was about to cause a nuclear war.
It was never about what you were fighting about, but the buildup of all of the resentment and frustration you were feeling towards each other.
It Was One Foot In And One Foot Out
You still cared and loved each other, but that wasn't the point anymore. You were too attached and afraid to leave each other even though it was clear that the bad times were outweighing the good times and you were bringing out the worst in each other.
It's not worth staying just out of comfort.
Jealousy Was Always Getting In The Way
When a relationship isn't going well, it can bring out a lot of insecurities about it failing. This caused you to assume every new person they talked to was the one they were leaving you for, and they never trusted you when you'd say you had to work late.
You Were Simply Coexisting
The relationship had become staler than month-old toast. You were sitting beside each other watching Netflix, but the spark was gone. You no longer felt like cuddling or staying up talking about life, and you couldn't remember the last time you felt butterflies.
They Were Unwilling To Change
You can't force a person to change if they don't truly see a need for it themselves. It's not enough for them to want to do it for you, as if they ignore the root cause of it, they'll just revert back soon enough.
Your Communication Had Become Toxic
Every time you tried to sit down to talk, it turned into a screaming match. You had to walk on eggshells to explain your feelings and your needs because they constantly were misunderstood and taken out of context.
Your Friends Encouraged You To Do It
Although no one outside of the relationship could understand it the same way as you, your friends had seen and heard enough to know that you deserved better.
They encouraged you to get out of the relationship so that one day you could be in one that would serve you better.
The Pain Of The Breakup Is The Same As The One You Felt Dating Them
You may be hurting now, but this pain will pass. It still beats being in pain every day of your relationship.
That pain just gets renewed from the fights you have every day, and you can't fully move on and heal from it until you are out of it.
The Double Standards Created A Power Struggle
Your expectations of each other no longer aligned.
Every time you did a favor for one another, it became a source of blackmail that you held above one another rather than a simple act of love.
You'd Regret Going Back To Them
You know deep down that if you caved to missing them and went back to them, it might be good for the first little bit, but once the excitement of the reunion fades, the unresolved issues you had would simply resurface and you'd have to walk away all over again.
