Signs That Maybe You’re The Problem In Relationships (And How To Fix It)
Before you yell at me, yes, I know how this sounds.
But have you ever considered that it's easier to shift the blame onto the other person for failures in the relationship, rather than to accept responsibility?
It's a controversial take, but taking a look in the mirror first allows you to better yourself—not only for your partner, but also for yourself in the long term. I mean, even Hannah Montana once so wisely said "Nobody's Perfect."
Here are some signs that maybe you're the one who needs to change in the relationship.
You Expect Your Partner To Change
If you are waiting for the day your partner decides to quit his job to travel the world with you even though they would rather spend their weekend playing video games non-stop, then maybe it's time to rewire your expectations for your partner and meet each other halfway.
You Have A Way Of Turning The Blame Around
OK, no one likes to admit it when they're wrong. But if you have a way to justify every time you forget it's your turn to take the trash out, then maybe it's time you take accountability.
You Want Your Partner's Full, Undivided Attention—All The Time
Quality time is the best time, but you know what else is a great time? Drinks with friends and solo nights in. Balance is important. If you can't be okay away from your partner, then it could be time to learn a new hobby.
You Rely On Your Mom's Opinion For Everything
Moms do know best, but it's important that you make decisions for yourself in a relationship. If you go to your friends and family every time you need to make a decision about your partner, then you are never truly listening to your own needs and wants.
You Are Convinced You Are Definitely Out Of Your Partner's League
We are all for self-love and self-confidence, but if you are consistently feeling superior to your partner, chances are you are setting an unequal standard for your relationship and maybe even making them feel bad about themselves.
You Don't Like Your Name And The Word "Compromise" In The Same Sentence
We don't want you missing the finale of The Bachelor either, but if you are always stealing the remote and setting the dinner menu, then you need to remember how to share and how to consider your partner's interests as well.
You Are Often Masking The Truth
Little white lies won't always prevent your partner's cries. A relationship is based on trust, and if you are hiding why you're late to dinner because you're worried you'll hurt your partner's feelings by telling them you stayed late chatting with a coworker, then you need to consider that you might be hurting them more in the long run.
You Avoid "Feelings Talk" Like The Plague
Haven't you heard that communication is key? If your partner is afraid to let you know how they're feeling because you'll get annoyed and walk away or because it makes you uncomfortable, then perhaps you can try to figure how you can open up more.
You Are Seeing The Same Patterns As With Your Exes
Sometimes, it's hard to accept that you are the problem. Yet, if you are experiencing the same issues in relationships over and over again, then maybe the problem is you and not them.
You Never Feel Like What Your Partner Is Doing Is Good Enough
You should never settle. However, take note if you consistently feel upset with your partner for no good reason, as there might be a bigger issue at hand that you are not confronting.
You Are Just Waiting For Your Partner To Mess Up
Be careful not to project the way that your exes have wronged you onto your current partner. If you are always skeptical of your partner's actions and just waiting to catch them in a lie, then maybe it's time to let go of the past.
You've Gotten Too Comfortable In Your Relationship
The best feeling is when you are most yourself around your partner, but it's so easy to stop trying when you feel comfortable. It's never a bad idea to go out of your way to remind your partner how much they mean to you every once in a while, just like you used to when you first met them.
You Are Holding Your Partner Back
There is a difference between compromise and giving up on your hopes and dreams for your partner. If the only reason your partner isn't going on that two-month internship abroad is because they don't want to leave you behind, make sure that you encourage them to do what will push them forward. They will be a better person for it in the long run.
You Refuse To Accept Change
It's only natural for people to grow and change with time. Rather than holding on to the image you have of your partner from when you met them five years ago, learn to adapt and grow with them. It's scary, but change isn't always bad.
You Are Wondering If The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
It's scary to commit and fully give your heart to someone, but if you always have one foot in and one foot out, you will never fully be able to give your relationship the ground it needs to flourish. Allow yourself to take a leap of faith and fully embrace your partner.
You Are Trying To Fit What You Think Your Partner Wants
If you keep feeling the need to change for your partner, whether to keep things exciting or because you think it's what they want, stop and realize that you are enough and that your partner chose you for a reason.
You Only Like Things Your Way
You might think that the way you load the dishwasher is the only way, but be open to what your partner brings to the table. You should both be able to teach each other new things, you might even learn a more efficient way to put some pans in there.
You Blow Up Their Phone Whenever They Are Out
You don't need to know what they're up to every second of the day. They are their own person just like you are yours. Allow for time apart to be just that. It's good to miss your partner every once in a while.
You Depend On Your Partner For Your Happiness
As much as your partner should be a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to, they shouldn't be your only source of happiness. Other than that being a lot of pressure to put on a person, it's important to not lose track of the things that made you happy before you met them.
You Are Always Rushing And Living In The Future
Try not to get too caught up on the next steps and what the future holds for you and your partner. As much as it's important to think of your life long term, it's easy to get so caught up on the next thing that you miss enjoying the present moments. Enjoy the process.
