Signs You’re Stuck In The Purgatory That Is An Almost-Relationship
You've been "talking" for a few weeks or maybe even a few months. You might have gone out a few times, or maybe you met on an app and haven't actually met in person, but you know that you're at least somewhat interested in each other.
Rather than moving forward into a relationship though, you could be stuck in the eternal void of the "almost-relationship." If you're not sure whether you're stuck in limbo or not—or you're in denial—here are a few signs to help you know for sure.
You Miss Her But Aren't Sure If You're Supposed To Tell Her
You're at that point where when you're not together, you want to be with her, but you're not sure if it's okay to tell her that yet. Will you be coming on too strong if you tell her, or will she admit that she also misses you?
How Much PDA Is Too Much?
When you're out in public, it's hard to know how much PDA is too much, or if any is even considered normal. Are you supposed to hug when you see each other in public, or do you pretend that you don't know each other? It really depends on the people in the situation.
Most Of Your Interaction Is Not In Person
At this point in your relationship, you might not have even met yet in person if you connected on a dating app, or you've only met a few times in person. Remember that you're going to get stuck in the "almost" stage until you can take it offline.
You're Not Really Friends
Unless your relationship started from a friendship, chances are you and your almost-boyfriend aren't friends. You might say that you're friends as an easy explanation to others, but there's more to it than that. Everything between you feels loaded with the potential to move past the "almost."
You Vent To Him, But Then You Apologize
You feel comfortable talking to him, you have no problems opening up or spilling your secrets, but once you've finished talking, you feel the need to apologize because you feel like you've shared too much.
You Go Through The "Should I Text Her Good Morning" Debate Every Day
If your friend texted you "good morning" or "good night" every day, you would probably find it a little strange or at least unexpected, so at what point do you cross that line into uncharted territory?
You Only Know The Surface Details
Your boyfriend or girlfriend is supposed to be your partner, but they can't support you if they don't know what they're supposed to be supporting you in. Keeping it at the surface level is fun for the time being, but it's not realistic.
You Haven't Met Their Friends Yet
Everyone knows that if your friends don't like your new partner, it's probably not going to last very long, so if someone is delaying you meeting their closest friends, you might not be as committed to each other as you thought.
You're Not Sure If You're Allowed To See Other People Or Not
You're at the point where you feel like it would be weird if you were to flirt with someone else at a bar or go on a date with someone, and you don't want to hurt their feelings, but you're also not in a relationship.
You're Censoring Yourself Less
You no longer feel the need to retake that photo five or six times before you send it or read over your texts a thousand times before you message him. You're comfortable enough to be yourself, or at least the more authentic version than that perfect-first-date person you try to imitate.
You Don't Know What To Refer To Him As
The easiest way to tell if you're in an almost-relationship is whether or not you know what to introduce them as. You're out in public, you run into an old friend, you turn to introduce him and then realize you have no clue what to refer to him as.
You Spend Your Time Questioning His Level Of Interest
If someone is really interested in you and wants to be with you, they're going to make it abundantly clear, so you can't help but question whether this sort-of relationship is going to work when you spend half your time worrying about whether he's interested or not.
You Don't Exist On Each Other's Social Media
You wouldn't dream of posting a Snapchat story of the two of you, and you certainly don't have any Instagram photos together unless they're group shots because what would people think? Insta posts are reserved for friends or actual partners, not the in-between person.
You Don't Know If You Should Take Him Chicken Noodle Soup When He Gets Sick
If we're talking "in sickness and in health," at what point in your new relationship would it be weird for you to not check in on him when he's sick? Is it too much to send some soup to his house, or is it just the right level of caring?
You Wonder If You Should Not Make Plans In Case She Texts You
Are you supposed to leave an evening free on the weekend in case she wants to make plans? What if she already has plans, though, and then you're stuck sitting at home waiting for someone that may or may not want to hang out with you? The easiest solution to this one is to straight-up ask them what they're doing.
You Focus On What Could Be With Her
Instead of looking at the situation you're currently in, you're focussed on the potential. It's great to be looking forward and thinking about your relationship with someone, but you can't get to that stage if you don't make it past this one.
You Don't Have Many Pictures Together
You wish you did, but you haven't quite figured out if he's cool with you taking Snapchats together or having actual documentation of your almost-relationship, so he's basically just a ghost as far as your camera roll is concerned.
You Don't Know How Much You're Supposed To Remember
Is it weird if you remember his mom's name and ask how her new job is going, or does it show just the right level of caring? How much are you supposed to pretend you don't remember?
He Changes The Subject When You Bring Up The "What Are We?" Conversation
The telltale sign of someone who is content in their almost-relationship or isn't ready to move to the next stage (aka an actual relationship) is avoiding the conversation. Him changing the subject every time you try to discuss moving forward is all the answer you need.
You Don't Know How Long It Should Go On
What's the time limit on an almost-relationship? It's hard to know how long you should wait to take the plunge into full-blown relationship territory (or at least have the awkward conversation to determine if you're heading in the right direction).
Don't wait too long, though, or you'll find you've spent months of your life on an "almost" and have nothing to show for it.
