Subtle Signs You Need To Pull The Exit Cord On The Relationship
If you're starting a new relationship it can be easy to get caught up in the thrill of it all and start ignoring some serious red flags that your new significant other may be putting up. That's totally understandable since, you know, we're human. But it's worth checking to make sure you know where your exits are just in case you have to make an emergency landing on this love flight.
These subtle doom signs that you may be ignoring are worth looking into if you can't shake the feeling that things are going to go South, real quick. And no, not in the fun tropical vacation plane metaphor way. I mean like in the bad, throwing clothes on the lawn at noon on a Saturday kind of way.
It's Hard To Get One-On-One Time
Sure, you see them a lot, but the only time you really spend together is either in the bedroom or in the car on the way to their friend's house for a party they just told you about. Your relationship is based around "going to the thing" together and yeah that's fun, but it should make you wonder why you guys haven't spent any quality time together in over two months.
Chances are if your significant other isn't really making the effort to put in that quality face time, then they're seeing you more as an accessory to raise their social stock around their friends. You're the "hey look everyone, I'm normal, I can have a relationship too" point of reference—which makes it pretty clear they might not be in the relationship for the right reasons.
They're Basically Vampires
If you've been seeing someone for a couple of months and enjoying the time you've been spending together but realize that you haven't really seen them in the daylight then that's kind of an issue. What color are their eyes? Do they have freckles? If you can't answer these questions without checking Instagram then you're either dating a vampire or someone with a very low commitment threshold.
There's nothing wrong with having an enjoyable time at dinner and hanging out in the evening after... but that can't be the only thing you guys do together. Being in a relationship means sacrificing a day-off on the weekend to spend time together doing stuff in broad daylight. Wow. This little thing shows that your significant other actually enjoys spending their free time with you because they like your presence—you're not just a warm body in a bed or someone to watch a night of Netflix with. Even though once in a while we could all use a Black Mirror binge.
They Implode At Any Criticism. Any. Boom.
Maybe they're sensitive or maybe they're used to being the top-French horn player at band camp every year of their lives... I'm not going to get into it, but they just can't take criticism for whatever reason. If your significant other is a big fan of turning your request for them to do their dishes into an argument that escalates to the "just break up with me then" level, then it's really not worth it.
If they can't handle when you're trying to fix an issue so much to the point where all they want to do is fight about it then, here's a shocker, that issue is never going to get solved. Even though you guys probably shouldn't break up over dirty dishes, you should think about it if your issues keep piling up and making your relationship toxic because you're not fixing them. If you notice a pattern of door-slamming and "I guess I'm not perfect enough for you," then it's time to go.
They're Status Is Always Set To "Busy"
Raise your hand if you've got the "sorry I haven't responded in a while, work's been busy" text at least once a day. We've all dated a person who does this, and if you haven't then you better clear your schedule and make it flexible for theirs because you're about to. They're great in person and you love hanging out... when you can get ahold of them, that is. Whether it's work, a family thing, a friend in town, or just no reason at all, these people are out here with Google calendar notifications set at full volume and texting you that they can't make it tonight.
We totally understand that people are busy—that's fine because that's life. But there's a difference between not having time and not making time for someone. A relationship has got to be more than just a couple Insta pictures and an hour last Tuesday helping them clean their apartment. It's simple and sounds easy, but you have to ask yourself if you're actually seeing them. In 3D.
You're Getting Déjà Vu From Their Last Relationship
So you had a great time at that cute little pumpkin patch down the road, you took a photo on top of the gourds, maybe ate some delicious apple fritter from a "little place" they knew about, and overall felt good about you guys until you did a little Insta-stalking of their ex. If you're seeing the same pumpkin patch and little fritter place except they're with a different person then that's a pretty strong red flag.
If you've been putting the pieces together and have realized that a lot of the stuff that they're taking you to do are also things that they've taken previous significant others to do before, then get out. Chances are they're still hurting from a previous relationship and trying to work through it by rewriting it with you in a weird Freudian way. Repetition is a huge sign they're not really over their ex, so you should get out now before you and the ex start having identical Facebook check-in spots and heartbreak.
