9 Things You’re Mistaking For Love
It's a pretty normal feeling to want to be wanted. Everyone loves love, and being in love with someone is a great feeling. The problem is, searching for that feeling can lead you to be blinded by your own feelings.
There are certain things you might experience that make you feel like a person loves you or feel like a person genuinely cares about you, but that's not always the case. There are things that seem like love in the moment, but looking back, you'll realize you were mistaken.
Playing The Role Of Their Personal Therapist
Most people have someone in their life that they can turn to when they need to vent about a problem, but you're also not someone's therapist. There are some things that you're just not qualified to deal with, and there are things that you simply don't want to deal with.
It can be nice to feel needed by another person, but you're not a dumping ground or a punching bag whenever your boyfriend is feeling upset about something.
Being So Consumed By Them That You Neglect Yourself
A relationship built on a healthy love should never reach the point where you're neglecting what you need in order to please the other person, even if it's unintentional.
People pleasers in particular are at risk of falling victim to this. Don't let your desire to please someone else overshadow your own happiness.
Accepting The Situation Even When You Know You Want More
Life is full of uncertainties, but you don't need to feel uncertain about what you want or what you deserve, especially in a relationship.
If the person you're with—regardless of the way you define it or the labels you place on it—isn't giving you what you want or what you know you need, then that's not the right relationship for you to be in.
Trying To Change Or "Improve Your Partner"
In your mind, you want to help your boyfriend or change your girlfriend because it's what's best for them, and you're coming from a place of love.
The real way to show your love for them, though, would be accepting them as they are, without feeling like you need to change their behavior or help them improve something that you see as a negative.
Having Positive Feelings For Someone
Just because you think well of someone does not mean that you love them.
It's easy to confuse enjoying being around someone or feeling happy around someone with having real feelings for them. It's also easy to tell yourself that you're having feelings for someone because you want to reciprocate them, or you think that friendly feelings will develop into something more over time, but that's not always the case.
Having Great Physical Chemistry
I'm sorry, but someone needed to say it. You're probably going to find yourself in a situation at least once in your life where you have to learn the hard way that having a great physical connection with someone doesn't always translate to a great relationship.
Don't let a great couple of hook-ups cloud your judgment and lull you into thinking that your relationship with that person is equally great. Chemistry can be misleading.
Someone Giving You The Bare Minimum
You have to know your worth, and you need to be confident when it comes to asking for what you need.
A person who drops you breadcrumbs of affection or sends you the occasional text saying that they're "thinking of you" but then doesn't follow through on it is not a person who loves you. Accepting the bare minimum from someone is doing a disservice to yourself—and quite frankly, to them too.
Having Your Partner As The Sole Support In Your Life
It's completely normal to lean on the person you're in a romantic relationship with in a time where you need support, but it's not healthy to have one person being the only support you have in life.
No one person can be everything to someone else without it failing eventually. Right now, it might feel like you just love that person and trust them so much that you couldn't possibly imagine not turning to them when you need it, but there has to be a boundary.
Being Manipulated By Someone
This is usually going to occur in a moment where you don't realize that it happened until after the fact. You didn't see someone for who they truly were, and you fell for their manipulation at the time.
When it was happening, you thought they genuinely cared about you, but in hindsight, you realize that you were a victim of someone else's games.
