Why You Should Talk To Your Partner About Their Definition Of Cheating ASAP
Believe it or not, the act of "cheating" is something that most people define differently. Because cheating can mean something different for everyone, it's crucial to establish your stance on it early in your relationships.
Relationship experts advise that setting boundaries and clarifying your understanding of what cheating looks like to you can be the conversation that makes or breaks a relationship in the long run.
Most Serious Relationships Have Their Boundaries Tested At Some Point In Time
If you have ever seriously dated someone, it’s likely that over the course of the relationship at least one of you has crossed what is deemed as “the line.”
The line sits in different places for different people which makes navigating a new relationship a bit more tricky. Especially if your partner hasn’t communicated where that line is for them.
Where Do You Draw "The Line" In Your Relationship?
For some couples, the line sits at physical intimacy with someone else. Others may draw the line when their partner likes a thirst trap pic on Instagram. Or maybe it will be when they have lunch with a certain coworker and conveniently "forget" to mention it.
In one relationship these are minor incidents whereas in another, they can become explosive betrayals that carry the weight of an emotional affair.
Cheating Could Be Physical Intimacy Or An Emotional Connection
As with physical cheating, people's understanding of what constitutes an emotional relationship may differ from their partner's.
Defining an emotional connection is not exactly an easy task, especially when you're unsure of the emotions yourself. That's why understanding emotional cheating is a bit tricky unless you've actually fallen victim to it.
Regardless Of How You Define Cheating, It Comes Down To Trust
While everyone's definitions of "cheating" may vary widely, ranging from any type of romantic, physical contact to a more convoluted emotional affair, most people can agree on one thing. It all comes down to trust.
The presence of trust in any relationship is an important part of what keeps it going. People need to have confidence in their partner and the decisions they make.
Set Boundaries At The Beginning Of Your Relationship
Both people need to communicate early in the relationship what their idea of cheating is in order to avoid creating a gap in communication that could cause chaos down the road.
If your partner can say to you "well I didn't know that would bother you" six months into a relationship, that's because it was a topic that was either avoided or not addressed in early conversations about expectations for the relationship.
"Is It Ever Okay To Dance With Someone Other Than Your Partner At A Club Or Party?"
An easy way to transition into the conversation is to reference a real-life couple that both parties know have experienced cheating in their relationship. Or raise the ever-divisive question: is it okay to dance with someone else at a club or party?
Ask one another's opinions about the matter. This is a good opportunity to learn some of your partner's boundaries and perspectives when it comes to where they draw their line.
Talking About Cheating Will Help You Determine How Flexible And Accommodating Your Partner Is Willing To Be
An early discussion about cheating will also help you determine your partner's flexibility levels when it comes to setting and keeping boundaries.
If your partner is willing to bend/flex their boundaries to either accommodate or appease yours, that's a great sign that they are willing to put in the extra work to make the relationship healthy.
Discuss Your "Deal-Breakers" Before Things Get Serious
Discussing your deal-breakers can be an uncomfortable but effective way to prevent future situations where you could feel betrayed.
For example: if you're uncomfortable with your partner texting, Snapchatting, or connecting with certain people on social media, tell them. They may be willing to respect your boundaries, or they may say "that's not going to work for me" in which case it's best to go your separate ways early on.
Communication Is Important But It Only Works When Both People Participate
It should be acceptable to voice the things that make you self-conscious, like when they go out with a certain group of people or comment on another man or woman's body.
On the contrary, it should be equally acceptable for your partner to say "I don't see the harm in those things because I am committed to you and you should trust me." This is where those differing definitions of "cheating" come into play.
Defining Cheating Will Only Strengthen Your Relationship In The Long Run
If you can work through the complications of defining what cheating means to you, your relationship can only grow stronger.
It's possible you even see a new perspective and find some reassurance in the strength of your relationship.
You And Your Partner Can Be On The Same Page About Non-Intimate Relationships
Some people have grown to recognize that it's nearly impossible to find one single partner who is capable of fulfilling all of our psychological, emotional, and physical needs at the same time.
As a result, we see people in long-term relationships seeking out satisfaction in other areas of their lives—most often in the form of emotional support. If you and your partner are on the same page about your non-intimate relationships, your ship can actually sail pretty smoothly.
Most People Have An Emotional Crutch In Their Life And It's Not Always Their Partner
Let's face it, not everyone is cut from the same emotional capacity cloth. For whatever reason, whether it's star signs battling or arrested development, some people are unable to handle the heavy emotion that their partners carry.
Enter the emotional crutch: a friend, co-worker, family member, classmate, teacher or bartender, whoever really. It doesn't have to be someone you would ever find yourself sexually attracted to, but nonetheless, they can be as crucial to your wellbeing as your intimate partner.
Being Imperfect In One Area Does Not Diminish Someone's Other Amazing Qualities
It is possible for you and your partner to come to an agreement that you need emotional support in your life that they can't always offer. That does not diminish the fact that they are a great lover, friend, family member, confidant, and supporter of you.
This important communication step is one of the best ways to ensure that neither person is expecting more out of the relationship than can be given.
The Easiest Way To Avoid A Nasty Fight Or Break Up Is By Being Honest About Your Needs And Expectations
At the heart of it all, people are complex and emotional creatures that respond to and interpret situations differently. Sometimes, our interpretations and conclusions can lead to heartbreak or sadness.
The easiest way to avoid that in your intimate relationships is by being straight up about what you need and what you expect.
After Your Partner Is Aware Of Your Boundaries, It's Up To Them To Choose Whether Or Not They Respect Them
After your partner is aware of your wants, needs, and your boundaries when it comes to cheating (both physical and emotional), they have the tools to navigate the next steps in the relationship.
It becomes their choice whether they will respect your boundaries and its your choice about how flexible you're willing to be with them.
It's Not Going To Be An Easy Conversation, But It's One Worth Having
So as you can see, absolutely nothing about this conversation is going to be straightforward. However, it is an important one to have.
Find out where your partner stands on cheating, tell them where you stand, and be aware of that information as you move forward into the more serious stages of your relationship.
