18+ Cringeworthy Opening Lines On Tinder That Make Us Want To Stay Single Forever
You only get one chance to make a good first impression, and the only thing funnier than some of these opening lines is the sarcastic responses they received back. But nonetheless, we admire our hapless heroes who shot for the stars but crashed somewhere amidst a garbage dump.
I once matched with a man who asked me, "On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?" Apparently, "Soviet Union" was the wrong answer.
A Solid Three Out Of Ten
Who said cringeworthy pickup lines are only said by men on dating apps? It's 2021 and now women are jumping on the bandwagon—yay equality!
Carlota thought she was going to find true love. But all Carlota got instead was roasted.
A Race To The Polls
For all you political science majors out there, this Tinder opening line is just for you.
So what's the kicker here? This unlikely match occurred two days after the 2020 U.S. presidential election—and the guy lives in Nevada.
I Guess She Didn't Kar-enough
When it comes to pickup lines, humor is always the go-to option. Unfortunately, some people just don't appreciate comedic genius when they see it.
While this man's punny attempt at finding love sank faster than the Titanic, perhaps the true crime here is that it's 2021 and this woman's name is Karen. Now there's a baby name that's about to go the way of the dodo.
How Do You Like Your Eggs?
Ashley over here got "quite the message to wake up to" with this good morning text from her latest Tinder match. And it looks like he himself is pretty proud of himself.
All I can say is, birth control, don't fail me now.
Sadly, Not The King Of The World
This hapless Romeo informed Redditors that his pickup line didn't quite work out, writing, "We tried lads."
I mean, considering Titanic is my favorite film, if someone on Tinder messaged me with that opening line, I'd probably marry the guy (don't tell my significant other that).
The Miracle On The Hudson
In case you forget this history lesson, this is in reference to US Airways Flight 1549 which in 2009 struck a flock of Canada geese (thanks a lot, Canada) after departing LaGuardia Airport and Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger was forced to make an emergency landing in the Hudson River.
And unfortunately for this girl, her name is Sully. What? There were no fatalities—we can totally joke about it!
A Lesson In Geography
Now there's a lot to unpack here with this one. Did this person genuinely forget the rest of the pickup line, or is their Tinder match just clueless when it comes to geographical humor? I suppose we'll never know.
But fun fact: The distance between Tennessee's capital of Nashville and Quito, the capital of Ecuador, is about 4,100 miles. So like, you're welcome.
Give Me Those Low-Interest Rates
You know things are bad when you match with a person on Valentine's Day of all days, and they immediately ask, "Are you interested in rates?"
Yeah, forget her escort services for a moment—what kinda mortgage interest rates is she offering? Hey, don't judge. The housing market is tough right now!
A Much-Needed Confidence Boost
Don't you love when cringey opening lines on Tinder suddenly become inspiring and motivational confidence boosters?
Remember, everyone, you might be a bag of trash, but you're a beautiful and glittering bag of trash. Now, go get 'em, tiger.
There's A Lid For Every Pot
Now, this exchange had the absolute potential to hilariously backfire, but our bald brethren over here was overjoyed. I love fairy-tale endings!
(Despite the fact that this has all the makings of a frightening and very confusing nature documentary on National Geographic.)
What Not To Ask On Tinder: Height Edition
When it comes to dating, people have their personal preferences, and that's totally okay because we all have our own version of our Prince Charming/Cinderella.
But with that in mind, your fairy-tale sales pitch probably shouldn't begin like this.
Restaurant Options
Subway and Domino's are both solid options. While we're talking about chain restaurants, I'm also throwing Pizza Hut and Popeyes in there too.
Oh wait, was that not what this guy was talking about? Yikes, guess I'll just go take my embarrassment and eat my feelings elsewhere.
Flirting: California Style
Whether you live on the east coast or the west coast, people of both geographies have very distinct personalities (I know, I've lived on both). But it seems like people in the Golden State are extra kinky.
I'm happy they found a love match, but seriously though, guys, protect the forests!
The Internet Is For Porn
Dating apps have revolutionized the dating game, but for many, people who only use Tinder to promote their social media accounts are a pet peeve.
Back in my day, I didn't have to worry about random people messaging me on Tinder asking if I wanted to subscribe to their OnlyFans or Snapchat Premium.
Hello, Doctor
I know having butterflies and flushed cheeks are a symptom of infatuation, but I'm willing to bet our attending physician over here didn't get quite get the answer he wanted.
I'm clearly not a doctor, but "diarrhea and vomiting" don't seem like symptoms you'd equate with a "match made in heaven." What's the cure? Probably unmatching them.
Taylor Needs To "Shake It Off"
"Please aim when you shoot your shot," commented one Reddit user.
Sure this guy "shooting his shot" was more akin to an exploding fireworks factory than an actual love match (sorry, Taylor), but we admire that perseverance!
Time For Class
There are a lot of different ways you can introduce yourself to someone on dating apps. From a humorous one-liner to asking them about their life/personality, or making overtly sexual/creepy comments, there are plenty of options to choose from. The latter of the three often wins out.
Rachel? Do yourself a favor and run.
The Newest Spider-Man Film
Superhero films have taken the world by storm, and from Captain America to Wonder Woman, Superman, or Spider-Man, everyone has their favorite hero (seriously though, Tobey Maguire was the best Spider-Man).
I doubt she appreciated this Marvel-inspired joke, however.
Seventh Grade
This Redditor explains that she matched with this guy who was supposedly her first kiss back when the two were in seventh grade together.
While it seems like her first kiss definitely remembers her, this probably isn't the response she was hoping for. Cheer up, darlin', things have gone downhill for all of us.
Google Maps
Seriously, man, I don't think Google is going to appreciate you wasting their time with such a ridiculous complaint—they're very busy people who may or may not be trying to take over the world.
After seeing all these photos, the internet is such a wonderful place to try to find true love!
