Breadwinning Bride-To-Be’s Refusal To Sign A Prenup ‘Emasculates’ Her Fiancé
Marriage can be complicated, and sometimes marriage-related problems start even before the wedding. One couple has been together for around six years and recently got into a big fight about a prenup. The groom's mother wanted the two to get a prenup even though her son is generally less successful than his partner in crime.
So, although the bride-to-be felt like she was in the right for defending herself and her strong opinion on not getting a prenup, her fiancé thought that she handled things poorly.
Prenuptial Agreements
A prenuptial agreement ("prenup" for short) is a written contract created by a couple before they are married.
Its purpose is to specify what each person will own if the two get a divorce.
"Am I In The Wrong For 'Emasculating' My Fiancé?"
Recently, an anonymous Reddit user (32F) asked the Am I The A-Hole (AITA) community if she was in the wrong for "emasculating" her fiancé (38M) in front of his family.
She explained that she and her fiancé have been together for about six years, engaged for two.
She Told Him How She Felt About Prenups
And after they got engaged, the couple had a big talk about "hypothetical situations that leave little room for compromise (e.g., adopting children, finances, family boundaries, religion, etc.)."
She continues: "One of the things on my list was no prenup. I'm not here to debate with anyone about their use, I just think that if you're preparing for a divorce before even getting married, it's a sign that you're probably marrying the wrong person. He agreed and everything was fine."
Her MIL Wouldn't Stop Encouraging Them To Sign A Prenup
But, something must have changed, because her fiancé's mother keeps insisting that she sign a prenup, and continued to bring it up. Even though she has told her no many times, her future MIL brought out an actual prenup drafted by her lawyer one night at dinner.
The MIL put it in front of the bride-to-be and demanded she sign it. Instead of reading it or even looking at it, the woman just simply refused.
"There Is No Gold To Dig"
Her MIL called her a gold digger, and nobody stood up for her, not even the fiancé. The original Reddit poster (OP) continues: "I told her that there is no gold to dig here: I make four times as much as he makes (I'm an MD and he dropped out second year), I've paid off all my student debt (he has over $100K left). I have my own house, ample savings and will certainly inherit more from my parents than he will from his."
OP explains that she was confused about what her MIL was worried about.
Her Fiancé Thought The Conversation Was Emasculating
The woman's future sister-in-law said, "If anything, he's the gold digger here," which shut everyone up real fast.
Her fiancé became upset because it was "emasculating for his family to know I'm so much more successful than him and his brothers are making jokes." OP finishes the post by explaining that she doesn't think she was out of line, but her fiancé thinks she could have handled things better.
So, That Didn't Go The Way I Thought It Would
Most people were expecting this story to turn out quite differently, as it's easy to assume that her husband's family had money if the MIL was insisting on a prenup.
Yet, this is definitely not the case, which led people to feel like something fishy was going on. And of course, people tore the husband to shreds. Seriously, shreds.
Oooh, Burn
People thought that it was ridiculous that the fiancé thought she was the one causing him to feel emasculated.
Because he is the one who is allowing his mom to have such an intense hold on his relationships. Yikes...
People Had Their Theories
Something was suspicious here, because if she's an MD, and he has a ton of student loans, his mom has gotta have poor vision to think that her son is the breadwinner.
Perhaps his mother has assumed that he makes more money than her, and he never corrected her or told her the truth...
"You Are An Idiot To Not Have A Prenup"
Users believed that the woman should take this entire experience as a sign to make an actual prenup to protect what she owned BEFORE the marriage.
This user claims that even though prenups get a bad rap, it's a smart move because you can lose everything in a divorce.
Why Did He Stay Silent?
Honestly, the conversation at dinner SHOULD have gone way smoother. Her fiancé should have stood up for her, and it was also a chance for him to set the record straight.
It's a total red flag that he just stayed silent the whole time, then blew up at her later.
He's Being Hypocrticial
Her fiancé was upset because she "emasculated him" and talked about how she makes more, but how can it be emasculating if it's TRUE?
Also, he didn't seem to care when his mom wanted her to sign the prenup, but as soon as he gets called a gold digger, it's embarrassing? Let's hope this couple figures things out before the wedding.
