Couple Discover They Are Distant Cousins After Getting DNA Test Results Back—And Now The Wife Wants A Divorce
Recently, one man posted to Reddit asking for advice about a situation that had recently happened between a friend of his and his wife of 23 years. The two discovered that they were actually 6th cousins, and the wife was so wigged out about it that now she is considering divorce.
The husband is desperate to change her mind about it, because the two most likely don't even share the same DNA, and their same ancestors were in the lineage over 300 years ago, in the 1700s. So, when asked if he could talk some sense into the wife, this guy asked Reddit for advice—and people definitely had lots to say on the topic.
There Are So Many Ways Now To Learn More About Your Ancestry Through DNA
In 2008, 23andMe, the first saliva-based genetic testing business, was named "Invention of the Year" by Time magazine.
If you wish to learn more about your ancestry or heritage, all you need to do buy a testing kit and send it back to the company. They have family kits available for purchase as well. Even though learning more about your ancestral heritage is intriguing, for some, it has more consequences than you would think...
For This Couple, DNA Test Results May Be The Cause Of Their Marriage Ending
Reddit user Smoke_Water recently shared that his friend discovered that he and his wife were actually related, and he came to him for advice.
He said they took a DNA test as part of their family history research and discovered they are 6th cousins. According to the poster, this means "they share a single common grandparent."
The Wife Freaked Out And Wants A Divorce
The two have been married for around 23 years, but the situation caused his wife to freak out over the idea that she's had three kids with her cousin. When they found out, she ran to the bathroom and was sick.
The wife screamed about how her whole life has been a lie, and how she can't understand how she could have been so stupid. She is now strongly considering divorce, and won't listen to anyone around her.
It's All She Can Think About
The user continued: "He said he's tried many times to talk her out of this. Saying it doesn't matter because they are so far removed, [...] they are not related."
"He is so regretful that they even took the test and really wished things were back to normal. But the damage is done. This pandora box is open and it's all she can think about." And even though coworkers, friends, and family have all tried to assure the wife that the shared genetic heritage is very far removed, she won't hear any of it.
The Guy Was Asked To Talk Some Sense Into Her
The user explains that he asked his friend if there was anything he could do. So, his friend requested that he talk with the wife.
He explains that he has always provided solutions to help solve many of their marital problems. He finishes off the post by asking for advice about what to do and explains: "I told him to give me a few days to think about it. This request has been keeping me up for several nights. I don't know what or how to even approach this. So I'm looking to you. What can I say?"
The Two Share A Great-Great-Great-Great Granparent
Many people in the comments clarified the relation of the two people, and they don't actually share a grandparent.
Their most common ancestor is seven generations back—so they basically share virtually no DNA. Most people thought that the wife was really overreacting, but a simple conversation from a friend just isn't enough to change her mind.
Many Recommended Counseling
At the end of the day, this guy isn't going to be able to fix the issue with anything he says, because the wife needs some genuine professional help.
She won't be able to get past the fact that they are (very distantly) related, and honestly, maybe it's a dealbreaker for her...
She Won't Change Her Mind
Additionally, other users mentioned that the man educating her about it could go very wrong. The woman needs to realize that the relation between the two is basically meaningless on her own.
Like this user, many people commented that maybe divorce is the best thing for this relationship, or maybe she was just looking for a way out...
Some Shared Their Own Experiences
Others in the comment section shared their own experiences with genetic testing.
Like this user, they also mentioned that most people have no idea who their cousins were at the 6th level because these people most likely lived in the 1700s.
Royal Ties
Some pointed out that Queen Elizabeth II and her late husband Prince Philip are third cousins through Queen Victoria. The two are also second cousins, once removed, through King Christian IX of Denmark.
They share at least 100 times more DNA than the couple in question.
DNA Test Reveals Startling Realization Between A Woman And Her Husband
Liane Kupferberg Carter and her husband Marc met in a peculiar way, which Liane calls "rom-com cute." The two were on Club Med, a cruise that sailed near Nassau in the Bahamas. Liane was 25, and Marc was 27.
The two spent some time with each other during their vacation. Although Liane claimed that Marc was initially "chasing my roommate," that would soon change. This couple would figure out that they're closer than expected-- almost 40 years after meeting!
The Two Lived Closer Than They Thought
While the two flew back to America, they chatted on the plane. Liane and Marc discovered that they lived a block away from each other in Manhattan! They also shared many other interests, such as an interest in literature and authors like e.e. cummings.
When the pair landed in JFK airport, Marc insisted that he should carry Liane's bags. She then found herself thinking, "I could marry a guy like this." And that's what she would do.
They Met Each Others' Parents Through A Weird Coincidence
But that wasn't the end to the pair's uncanny coincidences. When the two walked into the airport, Liane spotted her mother talking to another woman. Liane told Marc, "There's my mother, but I don't know the woman she’s with."
"I do," Marc replied. "That's my mother!" Their mothers had randomly met at the same time, in the same airport. Ever since Liane and Marc met, their life turned into a series of bizarre coincidences, and it wouldn't stop after the airport.
After Two Weeks Of Dating, Marc Proposed Under Fireworks
Marc and Liane started dating after their Bahamas trip. The two would often finish each others' sentences and shared many of the same interests. Both had a degree in English and loved to attend live literary events. Marc claimed that they were "two bodies with one mind."
On Independence Day--two weeks after they started dating--Marc proposed to Liane while they were watching fireworks over the Hudson River. Liane did not think they were moving fast; she even said, "What took you so long?"
Despite The Fast Dating, Their Lives Were Going Well
Some people thought Liane and Marc were crazy for getting engaged so early. But their timeline worked out; by 2018, they had been married for 38 years. They also remained married without children for several years.
At age 32, Liane conceived their first child, a son named Jonathon. The delivery went smoothly, and everyone was healthy and happy. The couple was even planning for a second child. Unfortunately, life would not remain as happy during the second conception.
However, The Second Pregnancy Brought Some Struggles
Liane became pregnant again at age 37, but this pregnancy was much rockier. She experienced far more bleeding and contractions, and the doctor recommended bed rest. Marc did everything in his power to care for his wife and help the baby.
Fortunately, the tough pregnancy would pay off. Liane gave birth to her second son, Mickey, with no complications. The parents were relieved, and they thought they were in the clear while they raised a loving, sweet son.
But The Parents Noticed Something Strange
When Mickey was a few years old, Liane and Marc noticed that something was off. He still wasn't talking. Most babies begin babbling at six months old and form words around two years. But Mickey wasn't saying anything.
The couple took Mickey to the doctor, where he was diagnosed with Autism. The way they received the news was rough. According to Liane, the doctor told her, "Don't expect higher education for your son." But she wouldn't give up.
Liane Fought For Her Son
Like any loving mother, Liane fought for her son to have the best life possible. She became an Autism advocate and wrote several essays about raising special needs children. Her memoir, Ketchup Is My Favorite Vegetable: A Family Grows Up With Autism, won several awards.
Although Liane became well-known in the Autism Awareness community, she could not have achieved all of this without her husband, Marc. The couple worked together to ensure the best life for their son and other children with special needs.
Then, She Decided To Take A DNA Test
During her Autism research, Liane learned that the condition tends to run in families, although the inheritance pattern is unknown. She relayed this to her eldest son, Jonathon, who recommended that she and Marc take a DNA test.
The idea intrigued Liane. She believed that she knew some of her ancestry, but she wondered if anything surprising would pop up. When Liane passed this idea to Marc, he agreed that they should both try it, along with their sons.
The Results: Liane And Her Husband Were Related
When Liane received her 23 and Me results, she also received an email that said, "You have new DNA relatives." She assumed that the email meant her son Jonathon, who also took the test. But she was wrong.
"[That email] is how I discovered that my husband Marc and I are related through more than mere marriage," Liane wrote on The Cut. "We're third cousins." That means that Marc and Liane shared at least one great-great-grandparent.
Their Son Was Dumbfounded
While some people would be freaked out by this news, Liane and Marc laughed it off. They called Jonathon about it (30 years old at this point), who responded, "I don't know how I feel about this."
"You were the one who pushed us to get tested," Liane brought up. Jonathon's only response was, "Do I need to get genetic counseling?" Indeed, Marc and Liane's relationship raised many questions that the couple would have to sift through.
But Were The Results Correct?
But Marc was skeptical. Although 23 and Me is generally accurate, there is a chance that it got something wrong. "It's not like we got this report from the Institutes of Medicine," he brought up.
However, 23 and Me got one thing right: that Jonathon was their child. According to the report, he shared 50.1% of DNA with Liane and 49.9% with Marc. However, there was another reason why the couple was inclined to believe their results.
Liane Always Worried That She Received The Wrong Child
Shortly after Jonathon was born, Liane had a scare at the hospital. According to her, when the nurse returned with her child after delivery, the child's label said "GIRL." Liane yelled, "This isn't my baby!" to which the nurse responded, "Well, it looks like yours."
Because of this, Liane had a slight worry that she received the wrong child for the past 30 years. But this DNA test confirmed that Jonathon was hers, making her more inclined to believe it.
Did Their Chance Of Birth Defects Increase?
Although the response was positive overall, many people wondered: Did Marc and Liane have a higher chance of having kids with birth defects? The answer is no. In 2008, an Icelandic study found that third cousins tend to have more reproductive success than eighth cousins!
Apparently, third cousins are a "genetic sweet spot," according to The Genetic Literacy Project. If Marc and Liane were more closely related--say, second cousins--then their risks of birth defects would increase.
The Story Continues To Be A Private Joke
Liane claimed that she and Marc "dined on [the news] for weeks," and they continue to joke about it today. She tells her husband, "You're my cousin-husband," to which Marc replies, "Better than being a sister-wife."
Although the 23 and Me result continues to amuse Marc and Liane, others might not react as well to this report. One should note the fine print on 23 and Me's Terms of Service: "You may discover things about yourself that trouble you that you may not have the ability to control or change."
