Man’s Accidental Text To First Date Shows How Men Talk About Women Behind Our Backs
When you go on a date with someone new for the first time, you hope you'll end up leaving with the feeling of butterflies, not the feeling of being insulted.
One man sent a woman he was going on a first date with an accidental text, and her TikTok about the incident is opening a discussion about how when it comes to "locker room talk," the only place it belongs is in the trash.
That First Date
When people go out on a first date, they hope to be romanced, enjoy a nice glass of wine, and get to know a potential lover a bit better. With the feeling of butterflies, it's hard not to imagine magical moments like this leading to something more.
But everyone knows that for every perfect first date, there's one that is anything but.
When A First Date Goes Sideways
While some first dates are riddled with zero romantic chemistry, others might erupt in other issues such as disagreeing over who's responsible for paying the bill. Even if a date goes poorly, hopefully, there was something to be learned from it, such as what you do or do not want in a romantic partner.
What people don't expect with a first date is to be rudely insulted, especially when derogatory language is used.
Accidental Texts
But let's take a step back for a moment. What if that first date never even gets off the ground in the first place?
Everyone has made the mistake of accidentally sending a text to the wrong person and it can be an embarrassing situation. But for one man, he joked with a friend via text about going on a date with a woman that quickly ended up backfiring on him due to his poor choice of words.
Meet Molly
Molly, also known as @mollyhair on TikTok, is a "social worker by day [and] singer by night."
She's an accomplished singer, releasing song like "Good Guys" where she goes into more...depth about what a cesspool dating in the 21st century is.
You Could Say These Garbage Men Are Her Muse
Life imitates art truly, and recently, she went viral for the text message she accidentally received from a man while on her way to meet up with him for a first date. The TikTok has been viewed 6.5 million times and has received 380,000 likes.
The TikTok post is captioned with, "Chivalry is alive #firstdatefail."
A First Date To Nowhere
While on her way to a first date with a man, Molly received a text from him asking if she was there yet. Molly then receives another text that she definitely wasn't expecting. Thinking he was texting a friend, the man accidentally texts Molly, "Waiting on this c**t."
Immediately realizing his mistake, he texts Molly back and claims he was just joking around with a friend, but she's not having any of it, asking, "Am I the c**t?"
A Follow-Up Video
In a follow-up video, Molly posts the full conversation with her date and explains what happened during and after the accidental text.
Molly was busy parking her car at the time she got the text message, but once she realized that he was actually referring to her using misogynistic language, she says, "I immediately started driving away."
Trying To Apologize
After being a no-show, Molly's failed first date then tried calling her repeatedly, which she ignored. He explained that he didn't actually mean the words he said and attempted to brush it off as harmless joking with a male friend, adding that he makes stupid jokes like this all the time.
He then apologizes to Molly and says that he'll understand if the courtship is over before it even got off the ground.
Red Flags
Molly texts him back and explains that she's not comfortable meeting him anymore.
Moreover, she says how inappropriate it is to refer to women using sexist language regardless of whether it's in a joking manner. She then adds, "I kind of see it as a red flag."
"God's Plan"
Her date then profusely apologizes claiming that he was "just trying to be funny" with his friend Joe. While he does genuinely apologize for the incident and express remorse, he knows he's well past the point of reconciling with her.
"I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it, is it God's plan I guess," he writes.
Molly's Reply
Molly texts the man back and says that she accepts his apology and hopes that he'll at least use the incident as a learning opportunity.
"I was probably way too nice in rejecting him. The social worker in me just wants to help people to learn and grow from their mistakes," she says. "I probably should've just ignored him."
Disrespectful And Disappointed
After reading through Molly's acceptance of his apology, the date acknowledges how disrespectful he'd been, even for just using the word in a joking manner with a friend.
He expresses how "disappointed" is he because Molly seemed like a sweet person and he was excited to meet her, coming to the realization that he blew his only chance with her. At least, that's what she thought.
Persistence
Disappointed that he blew his opportunity with Molly, the man hopes for another chance, but she shuts him down saying he has some growing up to do instead.
Over the next four months, the man continues to text Molly hoping for a second chance, but that goes probably about as well as you can imagine. Molly says his "persistence" she sees as a "red flag."
Aren't Jokes Supposed To Be Funny?
Molly's TikTok quickly went viral and soon thousands of users were chiming in with their opinions. Many of them were situated regarding the issue of just how much of a "joke" was the comment that Molly's date made actually.
Many people asked where is the humor in referring to women with degrading language, while a few other people said that it wasn't a big deal as the word "c**t" is commonly used in Australia in a joking manner.
Possible Green Flags
Other people weren't as harsh on Molly's date and actually defended him. They said that aside from his incidence of calling her by a derogatory term, his text responses were seen as "green flags".
"My husband has dry humor like this too and he treats me like royalty. The fact that he apologized and said I understand if it's over speaks volumes," one user commented.
A Genuine Apology Or "God's Plan"?
Other users however were pleasantly surprised that Molly's date actually apologized. But, numerous others were insulted that he used the "it's God's plan" excuse to explain away his actions as opposed to taking full responsibility.
"Gods plan = I'd rather take less accountability and attribute my patterns to someone else planning those behaviors," one user wrote.
Actions, Meet Consequences
But most comments circled around one theme. Not only did Molly dodge a bullet by seeing her date's true colors but that it also sheds light on how misogynist behavior and degrading "locker room talk" is far more common than people realize.
"Men say the most vile things about women in front of their male friends. I'm glad you responded this way. Hopefully he learned something!" wrote one user.
But It Doesn't Stop There
Molly pokes fun about the exchange afterwards, but still, we're up in arms here about the way some guys talk about us.
Is not being called a c** now the bar? Like come on guys you can do so much better.
But...If It Doesn't Kill You It Makes You Stronger Right?
It can't feel good to have the world putting its two-cents onto your situation and seeing yourself get called a c*** again and again.
If there's a silver lining here, Molly's definitely found it with her sense of humor. This is what happens when she googles her own name. Zoinks.
Speaking Of Bad First Dates...
While Molly's first date experience barely got off the ground, another woman on TikTok named Lulu did. And much like the man who Molly nearly went on a date with, Lulu's date also has a (terrible) way with words.
You could say it was down the drain right from the beginning.
The TikTok
Lulu, also known as @notsimpqueen7 on TikTok, recently went viral for her bizarre dating encounter which included a 15-minute long date, a secret message in lipstick, and a toilet.
The caption on the TikTok post reads, "my weirdo radar was spot on."
Late-Night Cleaning
The story begins with a friend filming Lulu as she sits on her bathroom floor and vigorously scrubs something off the underside of her toilet seat. As the two friends laugh over the misadventure, a caption on the TikTok and a follow-up video provide a bit of context.
"He wrote—in lipstick—on my toilet...run," she says.
The World's Shortest Date
So how did we get to this point? Over the course of two videos, Lulu explains that she had invited a man she'd met on Hinge on a date with her and some girlfriends at a local bar.
Shortly into the date, Lulu says she "wasn't feeling it" and, not wanting to ruin a fun night, she politely asks her date to call himself an Uber and leave.
Fake Ex-Boyfriends
Genuinely not wanting to hurt his feelings, Lulu concocts a fake story that's designed to let her date down gently. She tells him that she is unfortunately not comfortable continuing the date anymore because she's still in love with her ex-boyfriend.
Before leaving her place, however, her date leaves Lulu a parting gift.
Written In Lipstick
Before leaving her place, the man asks Lulu if he can use her bathroom. Shortly after, Lulu discovers that he wrote a message underneath the toilet seat in the hope that future dates would come across it.
Written in lipstick was the warning, "She is effing her ex...Run."
Call Me, Maybe
What's the final kicker here? Not only did Lulu's date leave a message in lipstick, but he also left his phone number.
Lulu acknowledges she could have handled things better but speculates he did this so any future men who come over to her apartment can call him and get details regarding why their promising first date quickly spiraled down into the toilet.
Team Toilet Date
With over five million views and 3,700 comments, Lulu's bizarre first date quickly went viral and users had a lot to say.
Some people thought there was missing information from Lulu's story and so supported her date. They thought that if he felt leaving a message to other men in a spot where only guys would see was needed, then Lulu herself must have been giving off the bad vibes.
Team Lulu
Most users, however, were on Lulu's side and said that her date was immature, adding that going above and beyond to write a warning message in lipstick was red flag behavior.
Others said that she handled the situation appropriately and shouldn't have been forced to hang out with someone she didn't want to, hence kicking him out of her apartment was justified.
The Moral Of The Story
The moral of the story? Whether you're on the side of Lulu or her toilet date, it's a lesson that not only should you always trust your gut instincts, but that y'all need to clean your toilets more often.
"His reaction proves your instincts were correct," one user commented. "Good decision."
